Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really the roommate's problem, not your daughter's. She should just carry on being her awesome self. She has no obligation to shield anyone from anything. It's very likely the roommate will have zero issues.

I agree to a point.

My kid is AA. The reality is that there are scummy people out there who would prefer not to room with AA people. Some of them might be the same scummy people who wouldn't want to room with the OP's daughter. The reality is that my kid puts up with discrimination outside of his home enough. He doesn't need to live with it too. So, if someone didn't want to room with him because of race, then I'd want that person moved. A kid's room at college is their home, and they deserve to feel 100% comfortable there.

OP, my understanding is that many college students connect with other members of their incoming classes on Facebook, and find a roommate that way. If that's an option at her school, then maybe she can choose her own roommate.

If you'd asked me before I got to college if I wanted to room with a black girl, I would have said I'd prefer a white girl like me. I got a white roommate. She was a huge slut and partier who would routinely bring back boys she picked up at bars and have loud sex with them all night long with me in the room. After the third time I threw a fit. A white girl across the hall had a black roommate, who she always complained was too quiet and boring. She and I arranged to trade roommates. The black girl moved in to my room. We got along swimmingly the entire time we lived together. The slutty girl did to the across-the-hall roommate what she'd done to me, and they grew to hate each other. She offered me $75 to get her old roommate back. I felt it was a little gross to be offering money for a person and said she had to ask my new roommate, who declined to move back. It taught me a good lesson - people who look like you aren't necessarily a good match for living together. There's a lot more to people than the superficial.

I have cerebral palsy, I've never had issues with roommates because of my disability, more so because of my personality(introvert and complete homebody). As long as she doesn't make an issue of it, she'll be fine.

OP here and thank you for your comments and suggestions. DD is very open about what happened and encourages people to ask questions. She also never hides it from anyone. I'm the one who doesn't want DD in an uncomfortable position with a roommate who -- let's face it - is only 18 and may be very sheltered.

OP - If there is the option to have a suite type set-up that might work best for many reasons including the mentioned boy friends in the the room bit if everyone had their own space, but shared common space, too. Otherwise, then maybe requesting a double would be the way to go as opposed to a triple or even quad as there would be less adjustments to deal with by your daughter. Also, I wonder if you could find out in her particular case if she and the other girl could learn of their match ahead of just showing up and relate as they choose to do so. It would be better for everyone if an immature person "self-selected" out before the start of the year. Once she gets on campus and makes friends, your daughter will have no problem finding roommates she gets along with from then on. I also think with all the positive news about young military folks and the unfortunate Boston bombing and the positive focus on all the young men and women who had to deal with limb loss in recent years that general knowledge and exposure is much more widespread than even five years ago.

I heard in a movie, I think, that an artificial limb is a great a**hole-o-meter. Anyone who has an issue with it is an a**hole and you're better off knowing sooner than later. If your DD isn't worried then I wouldn't be either. I'm sure is is used to handling the questions.

Anonymous wrote:This is really the roommate's problem, not your daughter's. She should just carry on being her awesome self. She has no obligation to shield anyone from anything. It's very likely the roommate will have zero issues.

I agree to a point.

My kid is AA. The reality is that there are scummy people out there who would prefer not to room with AA people. Some of them might be the same scummy people who wouldn't want to room with the OP's daughter. The reality is that my kid puts up with discrimination outside of his home enough. He doesn't need to live with it too. So, if someone didn't want to room with him because of race, then I'd want that person moved. A kid's room at college is their home, and they deserve to feel 100% comfortable there.

OP, my understanding is that many college students connect with other members of their incoming classes on Facebook, and find a roommate that way. If that's an option at her school, then maybe she can choose her own roommate.

If your daughter is nervous about the roommate thing, she could call the college's housing office and ask how similar students have fared with roommates. I'm sure they would help put her mind at ease. I really don't think you have anything to worry about. I work with college students, and I think a roommates leg would be so far down the list of things they would be freaked out by-now if she is really dirty, or wants to have sex with her boyfriend while the roommate is in the room-they she might run into issues.

I think this is the kind of thing that if a kid did freak out a bit at first, she would get used to it.

It would be a sign of very poor character for a roommate to react badly to this.

This is really the roommate's problem, not your daughter's. She should just carry on being her awesome self. She has no obligation to shield anyone from anything. It's very likely the roommate will have zero issues.

I am fairly sure it is against the law to ask one student if she/he would not want to room with a student with disabilities (provided the student required no help) in the same way that it would be illegal to ask if the student would have an issue rooming with a person of a different race or religion.

My mother's goddaughter, same age as me, lost her leg above the knee to cancer at around the same age. It freaked me out when I was 13 for about two minutes and then I just never really noticed or thought about it again.

Your DD will probably get a chance to correspond with her roommate(s) before September so she could let them know then what to expect.

Sounds like you have a very impressive daughter, OP.

My DD is 16 and would have no issue whatsoever rooming with a student who had lost a leg and used artificial legs. I would make sure of it.

DD lost her lower leg to cancer when she was 10. She is a brilliant student and an all-around great kid who has handled everything in her stride. She doesn't need any assistance at all.

However, I am aware that it might freak some kids out. How to universities screen out potential roommates who may not want to live with a student with DD's physical difference?

TIA