Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you so committed to helping this woman that you would go against what your wife wants?

She was there for me during a very difficult phase in my life. I don't know that I would have survived that period without her support. It was obviously before I met my wife.

Are you so grateful for her support years ago that you would disrespect your wife so extremely?

Anonymous wrote:Why are you so committed to helping this woman that you would go against what your wife wants?

She was there for me during a very difficult phase in my life. I don't know that I would have survived that period without her support. It was obviously before I met my wife.

Absolutely a breach of trust. Also risky legally. There was an article in Slate recently about recent cases with sperm donors being ordered to pay child support.

DW here. I don't think my DH could father a child and not want to be actively involved in his life. But other than that, I'd have no issues with him being a sperm donor.

Um, yes. You know your wife doesn't want you to do this, which is why you don't ask her.

This isn't The Big Chill, where your wife is offering you up to a friend.

I would actually be supportive of my husband helping an old friend to conceive a child in this way, provided that the rights and responsibilities were very clearly laid out.

That said, if he did it behind my back (even though I was supportive), I would consider it a huge breach of trust. If I was not supportive and he knew that and did it behind my back, I would actually consider divorce because voluntarily conceiving a child with someone else, against the express wishes of your partner, is on the same emotional level as adultery.

Do you have kids with your wife or are you planning on having kids? She should have input on whether or not her kids have a sibling running around out there.

If you went against your wife's wishes in this matter, it could end the marriage. It's that big of a deal. It's a huge breach of trust.

Anonymous wrote:Why are you so committed to helping this woman that you would go against what your wife wants?

Agreed. This is fishy.

Yes, this is definitely a breach of trust.

Of course. Don't be an idiot.

I think you are saying you would like to be a sperm donor without letting your wife know. If that is the case, it is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.

Why are you so committed to helping this woman that you would go against what your wife wants?

I'm confused. Are you asking if you can say no without asking your wife?

A woman I have known many years who is a single professional and financially very well off has broached me repeatedly about being a sperm donor so that she can have a child. I would have no financial obligation nor would I be expected to take care of the child. She is not located anywhere near where we live. Quite apart from having a substantial income, she is also the beneficiary of a substantial trust fund so I am confident that there would be no financial obligation.

I am married and my wife would never agree for me to be a sperm donor. She does not know this woman and just to be clear we have never had any sort of romantic or sexual relationship.

If I asked my wife and she refused - as I am sure she would - then I'd be acting contrary to her stated wishes. Would it be a breach of trust if I did so without her knowledge?