Anonymous wrote:I preferred inclusive activities and not ones that excluded people.

What a ridiculous thing to say. I am sure that as we speak they were plenty of events to which other people were invited but you were excluded.
Possibly b/c of your attitude.

My friend found out she was not accepted at the sorority of her choice because during rush they researched her and found out she had dated a black guy in high school.

Where I went to school (Jesuit university in the Midwest) Greek life was not a huge deal, and it was more of just a club. If you wanted to be in a sorority or frat, you could be. I suppose I'd be fine with that. At the big SEC schools, the rush process can be brutal and they're very exclusive. That would be a problem for me.

Anonymous wrote:Sororities can be a lot of fun, social.... but there are also charitable/study obligations in order to be in one....so it is not all party, party...I loved mine (although I am not in touch with anyone from there now- this was 25 years ago.) However, I do have fond memories. Depending on the school, too, some of the houses are GORGEOUS, and I loved living in mine during my senior year. For the right person, a sorority can be a good choice.

This may be true, but they still choose you based on extremely superficial reasons.

I had 3 friends who were room mates rush together. The woman with really bad acne was black balled. One of the women who was accepted was told later that this was the reason. Her friend just didn't fit in "look" wise.

OP, I wouldn't have any heart to hearts about sororities at this point. When your DD knows where she's going might be the time to talk about it. What she wants is to feel included and have friends. She'll figure out a sorority isn't the only way to do this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My understanding (went to a school with no Greek life) is that sororities are very different at different schools. It's good that she has identified this as important to her so that when you look at schools, you can also ask questions about the sororities on campus.

This is absolutely the case. Not only do the Greek scenes vary from school to school, each sorority also varies. I was in a sorority and am still friends with some of the girls today (at age 50). Surprisingly, one of the most important skills I learned in the sorority was to get along with people that I would have never spent time with otherwise. Trust your daughter's gut. When she gets to her chosen campus, she can explore Greek life and make a decision. I didn't rush until my second year. Many of my fondest memories are from frat/sorority exchanges. I managed to work 20 hours a week, take 6 extra credits per semester, and enjoy Greek life -- and get scholarships for my full tuition and board.

So these 50 year old women are "girls?"

Get over yourself. My grandmother is 90 and still calls her friends "the girls" and I find it adorable and endearing. She (and all of her girls) are college educated (many with terminal degrees in their fields), retired career women who all refer to themselves as "girls" and they all fought a feminist fight that you likely know nothing about. So stop being a negative Nancy.

I told my DD that only two things would make me disown her: if she joined the military or a sorority.

I preferred inclusive activities and not ones that excluded people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My understanding (went to a school with no Greek life) is that sororities are very different at different schools. It's good that she has identified this as important to her so that when you look at schools, you can also ask questions about the sororities on campus.

This is absolutely the case. Not only do the Greek scenes vary from school to school, each sorority also varies. I was in a sorority and am still friends with some of the girls today (at age 50). Surprisingly, one of the most important skills I learned in the sorority was to get along with people that I would have never spent time with otherwise. Trust your daughter's gut. When she gets to her chosen campus, she can explore Greek life and make a decision. I didn't rush until my second year. Many of my fondest memories are from frat/sorority exchanges. I managed to work 20 hours a week, take 6 extra credits per semester, and enjoy Greek life -- and get scholarships for my full tuition and board.

So these 50 year old women are "girls?"

My DD was very focused on sororities too and it was a factor in college choice. She joined one and has really liked the whole experience. But she's at a small college so it's much lower key than at an SEC school for example.

Sororities can be a lot of fun, social.... but there are also charitable/study obligations in order to be in one....so it is not all party, party...I loved mine (although I am not in touch with anyone from there now- this was 25 years ago.) However, I do have fond memories. Depending on the school, too, some of the houses are GORGEOUS, and I loved living in mine during my senior year. For the right person, a sorority can be a good choice.

My daughter said the same thing, but not until her senior year in HS.
When she got to college - she explored the sororities and ended up rushing her Freshman year.
She LOVED her sorority. Still have some very good friends she met three years later.
And, the networking, professionally speaking, is awesome.
They help each other get jobs and make connections. She heard about her current job from someone in her sorority - in a different chapter (if that is what it is called).
Neither my DH or I were into Greek life, so I am not sure where the interest came from, but for her, it was wonderful.
Great friends and great experiences.

Anonymous wrote:My understanding (went to a school with no Greek life) is that sororities are very different at different schools. It's good that she has identified this as important to her so that when you look at schools, you can also ask questions about the sororities on campus.

This is absolutely the case. Not only do the Greek scenes vary from school to school, each sorority also varies. I was in a sorority and am still friends with some of the girls today (at age 50). Surprisingly, one of the most important skills I learned in the sorority was to get along with people that I would have never spent time with otherwise. Trust your daughter's gut. When she gets to her chosen campus, she can explore Greek life and make a decision. I didn't rush until my second year. Many of my fondest memories are from frat/sorority exchanges. I managed to work 20 hours a week, take 6 extra credits per semester, and enjoy Greek life -- and get scholarships for my full tuition and board.

My understanding (went to a school with no Greek life) is that sororities are very different at different schools. It's good that she has identified this as important to her so that when you look at schools, you can also ask questions about the sororities on campus.

Well, as we used to say -- if you can't make friends, I guess you can buy them (by paying dues and joining a sorority).

Seems flaky and weird to me, but I'm from the NE -- I hear that sororities are sort of de rigueur for southerners?

Says my 16 year old as we begin the college search process. Would you support this? I'm not sure how I feel about Greek life. I went to a tiny liberal arts college where maybe 5% of the population was Greek so no real experience.