We have always let our kids choose their arts and language courses. For math and science, we've told them that they must take the courses that the school recommends. (We are in a private where the school recommends, but does not require, a particular math/science track.

This has really only been an issue once. DS was recommended for an accelerated chemistry course and he was nervous about it. We insisted that he follow the school's recommendation but said that we did not care about the grade as long as he was trying. I'm surprised at the number of parents who will let girls, in particular, back out of the harder math/science courses because they are afraid of a "B."

My child, even in middle school, has difficulty grasping long term benefits or consequences of certain choices. I'll point out how opting to take a higher or lower level math class will help or hinder her, and so on. I insisted she try honors english in 6th grade. Because she was worried about the workload, we agreed that if it turned out to be too much then she could take regular english in 7th. It turned out fine and she stayed on the honors track, but it's not a place she would have put herself. Once I explained math tracking and how important it would be for her science pursuits, she was eager to take the highest track math available.

Some people would view that as over-involved but I think it's unreasonable to expect every 11 year old to know how all the academic pieces fit together.

She chooses her own electives. I might point out that she didn't like drama last year and is she sure she wants to take it again this year, but I'm not going to force her to take band.

I let my kids choose whether or not they wanted to play strings or band instruments or take music back in elementary school.

Middle/high school they can choose for themselves up to a point. If they are dropping out of orchestra in order to take a one time cooking class I might have something to say about that. 13/14 year old kids don't always see the consequences of decisions like that.

By college I really hope that they are choosing wisely for themselves and won't need a lot of input for us. And that they will ask us for guidance as needed.

7th grade is when we started letting our kids choose electives (2 are in college and 2 are in HS). However, we always sit down and discuss choices with them and pros and cons - even with the college kids.

In 7th grade, the first time they became available. I was so glad DC was finally given a choice in something significant (outside our home). I had to bite my tongue about one of the electives, but that's a good thing--it reminded me I'm not raising a carbon copy of myself.

My kids ask for our opinions on their college classes, just like they talk to their advisor and friends about classes. Seems fine to me -I wish my parents had been more active in guiding me and providing perspective on what classes might be useful in later life. In high school there really weren't that many choices.

My DS is in middle school. We allow him to choose his electives but we talk about them first.

I let mine start in sixth grade, which for us was when options were available.. At that point there aren't that many things to choose. I always discussed the options, read class descriptions together and suggested which ones weren't a good fit (ie, my son who hates dance should probably avoid ballet for his PE credit sort of suggestion). I haven't run into a situation where I was sorry for my approach. Sometimes I am surprised by the choices they make, but they own it after they choose it and it's always worked out well.

DD is in 7th grade. I suggest activities to her but also listen carefully to any interests she is developing.
Just the other day, a postcard from a drama camp she did a few years ago come in the mail. I gave it to her and said something like, "take a look and let me know if it's something you're interested in doing this summer."

My parents never said a word about what I took in school. I figured if kids were old enough to have electives, they are old enough to choose. I've been surprised to read that's not the case here, at least in the threads I've seen.