Anonymous wrote:Why exactly do you need to have contact with her? You sound a bit irrational about this all. Look at agreement, I can't imagine you didn't cover this but if you didn't then you fucked up. Not him.

+1 The ex has good reason not to tell and ask kid not to discuss. OP sounds creepy.

Single parents will date but none should feel obligated to keep an ex in the picture to pre-screen a potential step-parent. Creepy!

Why exactly do you need to have contact with her? You sound a bit irrational about this all. Look at agreement, I can't imagine you didn't cover this but if you didn't then you fucked up. Not him.

Anonymous wrote:Children shouldn't be asked to keep things from 1 parent.

This

OP, sounds like he made the right call.

Dh2 didn't tell his ex when he and I moved in together. She's very passive-aggressive and neither of us wanted to deal with the drama she would have brought if she'd been told.

If it affects my kid, it affects me. Easy peasy. She's 7 1/2 and there is no reason she should be asked to lie to me because he can't man up himself. Come on now

Anonymous wrote:Unless you have a great relationship with your ex, why would he tell you? It isn't your business. Unless your custody agreement forbids it (I doubt it), I don't understand what the issue is.

If her daughter spends time at dad's, of course it is OP's business.

Because he asked my daughter to lie about it, effectively this is a step mom for her but I don't know her and he's left her in his card for 2 days without me knowing - she has zero legal responsibility for her. How about an emergency? I kniw, call me crazy but he puts her in charge at random moments and I have no clue. And my kid walks around with a lie in her head for 10 mins. All because he didn't have the balls to tell me himself. Not hard.

Anonymous wrote:Is there anything in your custody agreement about knowing who is living in the same space as your child? I know my friend has that in her agreement with her ex. She rented out a room, and he made a big deal about meeting the roommate because she would be under the same roof as the child.

It's worth checking over your agreement.

Also, stop referring to him as "ex hubby." It's grating when it's referred to a current spouse and even more painful when it's an ex.

The only thing worse is referencing the male spouse as "hubs".

Unless you have a great relationship with your ex, why would he tell you? It isn't your business. Unless your custody agreement forbids it (I doubt it), I don't understand what the issue is.

Ah yes I mean her dad, but it pains me to say that as the situations he puts her in are fucked up at best. He's a dad that only ever thinks of himself. And in my book, that's bit a dad , a hubby or a friend. I call it a narrasistic prick

Is there anything in your custody agreement about knowing who is living in the same space as your child? I know my friend has that in her agreement with her ex. She rented out a room, and he made a big deal about meeting the roommate because she would be under the same roof as the child.

It's worth checking over your agreement.

Also, stop referring to him as "ex hubby." It's grating when it's referred to a current spouse and even more painful when it's an ex.

Bingo! This has happened more than once.

Children shouldn't be asked to keep things from 1 parent.

Wtf? My ex's girlfriend moved in in January and I only found out today because my daughter was whispering in the phone. I guess she saw the girlfriend at the grocery store and didn't want to say hi because it would upset me. I said - next time say hi to her. It's fine. In fact I want to have a relationship with her but dad doesn't want me to

He specifically asked her if she talks about his girlfriend to me. I guess holding in a lie like that can only be held for so long with a 7 1/2 year old.

Fucked up. Her dad is such a douchebag. He's extremely controlling and forbids me to have contact with the chick.