Clearly the man should always be the primary driver too. Can I get an amen, OP?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm currently in a debate with friends. I believe that it is perfectly acceptable for there to be gender roles within a marriage. For example, the husband always gets gas when it's late at night. What's everyone else's opinion?

We each have our areas of "expertise", but I would not call them 'gender roles'.

This. DH takes out the trash but also does the grocery shopping. He handles the bills, but I handle all things insurance (fighting with people on the phone is a specialty of mine.) I cook, neither of us does laundry. He handles car-related stuff and shoveling, I do organization and all things related to child planning (camps, schools, playdates, etc.) We both contribute equally to childcare.

Oooooh do tell! Laundry fairy?! I want one.

We outsource to our cleaning person. Cheaper than marriage counseling or divorce.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's great to have roles and specialization. Not sure why they have to be "gender roles." They can be whatever each person is good at/enjoys/doesn't mind.

+1

Exactly. My husband drives when we are together because he is an annoying backseat driver if I drive. It's not because I'm a woman and he's a man. He pays bills and I do laundry. Because he'd sooner die than pay a late fee but would never notice we are all out of underwear.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm currently in a debate with friends. I believe that it is perfectly acceptable for there to be gender roles within a marriage. For example, the husband always gets gas when it's late at night. What's everyone else's opinion?

We each have our areas of "expertise", but I would not call them 'gender roles'.

This. DH takes out the trash but also does the grocery shopping. He handles the bills, but I handle all things insurance (fighting with people on the phone is a specialty of mine.) I cook, neither of us does laundry. He handles car-related stuff and shoveling, I do organization and all things related to child planning (camps, schools, playdates, etc.) We both contribute equally to childcare.

Oooooh do tell! Laundry fairy?! I want one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm currently in a debate with friends. I believe that it is perfectly acceptable for there to be gender roles within a marriage. For example, the husband always gets gas when it's late at night. What's everyone else's opinion?

We each have our areas of "expertise", but I would not call them 'gender roles'.

This. DH takes out the trash but also does the grocery shopping. He handles the bills, but I handle all things insurance (fighting with people on the phone is a specialty of mine.) I cook, neither of us does laundry. He handles car-related stuff and shoveling, I do organization and all things related to child planning (camps, schools, playdates, etc.) We both contribute equally to childcare.

Anonymous wrote:I'm currently in a debate with friends. I believe that it is perfectly acceptable for there to be gender roles within a marriage. For example, the husband always gets gas when it's late at night. What's everyone else's opinion?

We each have our areas of "expertise", but I would not call them 'gender roles'.

Anonymous wrote:I'm currently in a debate with friends. I believe that it is perfectly acceptable for there to be gender roles within a marriage. For example, the husband always gets gas when it's late at night. What's everyone else's opinion?

Am I the only one who interpreted this as the husband being farty in bed? My ex did see that as one of his roles.

It's fine as long as both parties agree to it. In your example, you are happy that DH gets the gas at night because of safety concerns. Your friend may see that as your DH being too protective and acting like you are incapable of Handlin yourself or whatever. Neither of you are wrong for your own marriage. You are both wrong once you say all marriages should be what you believe.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's great to have roles and specialization. Not sure why they have to be "gender roles." They can be whatever each person is good at/enjoys/doesn't mind.

+1

Anonymous wrote:I think it's great to have roles and specialization. Not sure why they have to be "gender roles." They can be whatever each person is good at/enjoys/doesn't mind.

Agree. In our family, DH does all the laundry. It is a man's job.

Anonymous wrote:Of coure that's fine. The only people who would feel otherwise are the angry man-hating feminists whom nobody likes anyway, and all they do is publish their hate on Slate XX.

Wow, someone has issues (and they're not on Slate XX!).

If that works for your marriage, great. If you try to apply that to everyone's marriage, no.

I think it's great to have roles and specialization. Not sure why they have to be "gender roles." They can be whatever each person is good at/enjoys/doesn't mind.

Of coure that's fine. The only people who would feel otherwise are the angry man-hating feminists whom nobody likes anyway, and all they do is publish their hate on Slate XX.

I'm currently in a debate with friends. I believe that it is perfectly acceptable for there to be gender roles within a marriage. For example, the husband always gets gas when it's late at night. What's everyone else's opinion?