No question you did right thing. This was likely some kind of fraud.

^^ Just saw your post. Yeah, I think she's nuts/a stalker.

Yeah, I think this woman might be nutso. 15 years leaves a lot of traces. Did you find evidence in his house of her existence?

Anonymous wrote:I think you listened pretty well to your internal alarms. They were together 15 years and the only thing he has to show for it is a phone number listed in his phone?

Were there belongings in your father's house that you didn't recognize and might have belonged to her? Were there any other indicators that your father ight have had someone significant in his life? If not, that's a good reason to tread with caution.

The only thing we found in his home after his death having anything to do with her was a gift box that said it was to him from her with a kindle in it that he never opened. Nothing else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would you be offering her if you contacted her? Do you still have some of his ashes? Do you still have her belongings. If she really was/is grieving that badly, it would be very selfish to reach out solely for your own peace and satisfaction. Don't reopen the wound of how you treated her without making some kind of conciliatory effort.

This. The way you treated her is pretty disgusting. Don't make it worse unless you are willing tomake it better first.

OP here and I guess you are probably right. It was just really hard right after his death and I guess we just thought that if she had meant so much to him why hadn't he told us. I had a pretty steady relationship with him and he NEVER mentioned her. On top of that he was dead for 5 days until my uncle found him. If they were so close why wasn't she there?

I think you listened pretty well to your internal alarms. They were together 15 years and the only thing he has to show for it is a phone number listed in his phone?

Were there belongings in your father's house that you didn't recognize and might have belonged to her? Were there any other indicators that your father ight have had someone significant in his life? If not, that's a good reason to tread with caution.

Anonymous wrote:What would you be offering her if you contacted her? Do you still have some of his ashes? Do you still have her belongings. If she really was/is grieving that badly, it would be very selfish to reach out solely for your own peace and satisfaction. Don't reopen the wound of how you treated her without making some kind of conciliatory effort.

This. The way you treated her is pretty disgusting. Don't make it worse unless you are willing tomake it better first.

What would you be offering her if you contacted her? Do you still have some of his ashes? Do you still have her belongings. If she really was/is grieving that badly, it would be very selfish to reach out solely for your own peace and satisfaction. Don't reopen the wound of how you treated her without making some kind of conciliatory effort.

My father passed away over a year ago very suddenly. The cause of death was complications associated with cirrhosis of the liver due to alcoholism. When it happened my siblings and I were in shock. We knew he was sick but didn't realize how sick, he never talked to us about it. About a day after we were notified of his death a women contacted my sister on Facebook claiming she was the daughter of my fathers fiance. This came as quite a surprise because we didn't know anything about this women or that my dad was even in a relationship. I looked through his phone and found her number and decided to give her a call. Well she said they had been together for almost 15 years and that my father had proposed to her the previous summer. I told her he had never mentioned her and she said that she knew and never understood why he didn't tell us about their relationship. She went on to say that she was distraught to hear about his death and had to go to the doctor for meds to help calm her down. She said he had been like a father to her daughter and that he was a wonderful man, this hurt a bit because he wasn't always there for us. Before ending the call she asked if she could meet me at his house the next day so she could retrieve some of her belongings. I told her I would think about it and ended the call. I talked it over with my sibling and we decided we would sleep on it. In the morning my sister had another facebook message from this women's daughter claiming that her mother was taking our father's death really hard and she wanted to know if she could have some of his ashes to put in a locket for her mother. That was just a little too much for us and my brother basically said that this is getting weird and it ends now. He wasn't going to give our father's ashes to a total stranger. He thought that if our dad had wanted us to know about this women he would have told us. So we cut off contact with her and that was that.

Fast forward to now and I am regretting the way we handled things with her. It has been very difficult moving on after my father's death and if she was such a huge part of his life I'm wondering if talking to her will help give me closure. He kept so much from us in his last few years of life and I just want to know what was going on. Should I try and contact her?