Anonymous
02/19/2015 22:04
Subject: Re:husband wants to take new job offer only $8 raise and a 65 mile commute
op here. I agree he needs to make a change, but how about a little effort closer to home? He's so desperate to get out of this job. Now he says someone wants him to apply for a job that is remote, he would work from home, and has 40% travel to asia. I can't win. Feeling so trapped and alone. I will be doing everything.
Anonymous
02/19/2015 21:45
Subject: Re:husband wants to take new job offer only $8 raise and a 65 mile commute
Change is good. Maybe he will look for another job after he gets to his new job.
I was in a job for 7 years. I got bored but was too comfortable to leave. Then I got laid off. Best thing ever happened to me. I've had two new jobs in the last 14 months and I am having a blast. After I fix the problem I was hired for in the current job, and help the company win the re-compete, I will leave for something else. Never want to be stuck in the same place for longer than 2 years again.
I was in a job for 7 years. I got bored but was too comfortable to leave. Then I got laid off. Best thing ever happened to me. I've had two new jobs in the last 14 months and I am having a blast. After I fix the problem I was hired for in the current job, and help the company win the re-compete, I will leave for something else. Never want to be stuck in the same place for longer than 2 years again.
Anonymous
02/19/2015 21:34
Subject: Re:husband wants to take new job offer only $8 raise and a 65 mile commute
Anonymous wrote:I think there's more going here that he's not telling you.
I agree. Does not sound rationale.
Anonymous
02/19/2015 21:29
Subject: husband wants to take new job offer only $8 raise and a 65 mile commute
Anonymous wrote:Move closer to his new job, particularly if you do not work. Children adapt to new friends, schools, and experiences, and you will probably find that the cheaper cost of living 65 miles outside the DC Metro area makes that $8/hour raise go even farther.
Importantly, your husband appears to be trapped in an unfavorable work environment where his current employer does not value him, and he now has the exciting opportunity to pursue a job with an employer who is equally excited about him.
Life is too short for a woman or a man to whittle away the years at a job where there is no progress -- unless they want to (and there are good, legitimate reasons for those jobs also, like less stress or more time with family). But if your husband is professionally ambitious, then he may see this as the next, necessary step to meaningfully advance his career. Take that opportunity from him, and he may come to resent you for it.
If you work in this area, then let him try the commute for a year to make sure the job is a good one before you commit to the move.
What if his current job isn't the problem? If it carries into a new job that OP moves for and her husband is the real problem it's going to be a disaster
Anonymous
02/19/2015 21:27
Subject: husband wants to take new job offer only $8 raise and a 65 mile commute
wear and tear and gas on his car is worth more than 8k. he doesn't sound... well, you know...
Anonymous
02/19/2015 21:27
Subject: husband wants to take new job offer only $8 raise and a 65 mile commute
I meant for the $8K/year raise!
Anonymous
02/19/2015 21:25
Subject: husband wants to take new job offer only $8 raise and a 65 mile commute
Move closer to his new job, particularly if you do not work. Children adapt to new friends, schools, and experiences, and you will probably find that the cheaper cost of living 65 miles outside the DC Metro area makes that $8/hour raise go even farther.
Importantly, your husband appears to be trapped in an unfavorable work environment where his current employer does not value him, and he now has the exciting opportunity to pursue a job with an employer who is equally excited about him.
Life is too short for a woman or a man to whittle away the years at a job where there is no progress -- unless they want to (and there are good, legitimate reasons for those jobs also, like less stress or more time with family). But if your husband is professionally ambitious, then he may see this as the next, necessary step to meaningfully advance his career. Take that opportunity from him, and he may come to resent you for it.
If you work in this area, then let him try the commute for a year to make sure the job is a good one before you commit to the move.
Importantly, your husband appears to be trapped in an unfavorable work environment where his current employer does not value him, and he now has the exciting opportunity to pursue a job with an employer who is equally excited about him.
Life is too short for a woman or a man to whittle away the years at a job where there is no progress -- unless they want to (and there are good, legitimate reasons for those jobs also, like less stress or more time with family). But if your husband is professionally ambitious, then he may see this as the next, necessary step to meaningfully advance his career. Take that opportunity from him, and he may come to resent you for it.
If you work in this area, then let him try the commute for a year to make sure the job is a good one before you commit to the move.
Anonymous
02/19/2015 21:25
Subject: Re:husband wants to take new job offer only $8 raise and a 65 mile commute
Anonymous wrote:and really I should move 1 hour away for $8k?
No, I certainly wouldn't! My friend's husband has a 120 mike a day commute, round trip. The gas and wear and tear is so expensive. The time away from the family is detrimental. I'd avoid it at all costs.
Anonymous
02/19/2015 21:23
Subject: Re:husband wants to take new job offer only $8 raise and a 65 mile commute
I think there's more going here that he's not telling you.
Anonymous
02/19/2015 21:16
Subject: Re:husband wants to take new job offer only $8 raise and a 65 mile commute
and really I should move 1 hour away for $8k?
Anonymous
02/19/2015 21:15
Subject: Re:husband wants to take new job offer only $8 raise and a 65 mile commute
I don't want to. Happy where I am with schools and friends, religious entity we belong to, family nearby. Ill mother...etc
Anonymous
02/19/2015 21:14
Subject: husband wants to take new job offer only $8 raise and a 65 mile commute
Is moving closer to the new job an option?
Anonymous
02/19/2015 21:11
Subject: Re:husband wants to take new job offer only $8 raise and a 65 mile commute
I have tried, he seems pretty hell bent.
Anonymous
02/19/2015 21:10
Subject: husband wants to take new job offer only $8 raise and a 65 mile commute
That is a ridiculous commute for this area. Can you encourage him to send out more resumes so he knows that you're supportive of him getting a new job, just not one that eats into so much family time?
Anonymous
02/19/2015 21:08
Subject: husband wants to take new job offer only $8 raise and a 65 mile commute
My husband has a fairly stable job that is going nowhere. He has been at company 7 years and gets cost of living increases and yearly bonuses, but has never been promoted. Rightly frustrated with his job, but he never job hunts. So he submitted 1 resume in all these years for a position that is a 65 mile commute one way. Currently he has a 10 minute commute. And he just got a job offer. His current benefits package is very good, I doubt they could top it.
Problem is he wants to take this job and do this ridiculous commute for a friggin $8k raise with similar benefits because he hates his current job. He is saying there aren't a lot of jobs in his field in this area, which I do not believe to be true. I have never seen him make any effort until this one resume. Have offered to help him job hunt, have sent him listings, have networked for him, all to no avail.
Now he wants to talk about this job offer, and I am so stressed and frustrated. He will never be around for his kids if he takes this job. Drive time seems to be 1.5 hrs.
Problem is he wants to take this job and do this ridiculous commute for a friggin $8k raise with similar benefits because he hates his current job. He is saying there aren't a lot of jobs in his field in this area, which I do not believe to be true. I have never seen him make any effort until this one resume. Have offered to help him job hunt, have sent him listings, have networked for him, all to no avail.
Now he wants to talk about this job offer, and I am so stressed and frustrated. He will never be around for his kids if he takes this job. Drive time seems to be 1.5 hrs.