If she is interested in you, she will most likely be flattered.

I am a Female and I know I would.

Most older woman can see behind the mask. Don't feel bad OP. She probably appreciates the vulnerability you exposed. Makes her feel all tingly that you were comfortable enough with her to expose your Achilles heel outright.

Leave the alpha/beta crap to the 20 year olds. Older women can smell your fake game a mile away. It's pungent!

What gives you the sense that you're coming on too strong? What reactions have you gotten?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How did she react? Some people will mind, some won't.
I think it's fine as long as you aren't pushing for exclusivity this early.

OP here - definitely was and AM NOT pushing for exclusivity. The very night before, i was with another woman (however the one I asked, I would rather be in an exclusive relationship than with the woman from the night before).

My curiosity got the best of me and I guess my mask slipped (in that she probably knows now that I value her higher than others i'm dating).

I just was seeking some transparency or clues i guess of where i stood in her hierarchy or ladder.

Such a beta move, I know.

I'm an online dater (female) in my mid-30s and honestly, if a guy asked me this at any point, but DIDN'T want to be exclusive, I would think it was kind of weird. How did the conversation go?

You: So, are you seeing anyone else?
Her: Yes, I am.
You: Oh cool, me too, just wanted to check?

I understand what you explained here, but if I hadn't read that and was the woman on the other side of your exchange, I'd probably think that you were NOT all that into me, and were making sure I was in fact dating other people and not entertaining fantasies of a committed relationship with you. You know, reassuring yourself that I wasn't going to get all "stuck on you" since you were seeing other people.

I think I wouldn't ask again unless you actually have some reason for wanting to know that you can articulate to her.

Anonymous wrote:fwiw i was married young and divorced last year (amicable, no drama) so hence my rustiness. have gone on a number of dates but getting the sense i'm coming on too strong (for the ones i have interest in - have also gone on dates where i want to leave right away).

Take a deep breath, chill. Are you in a race or something? Even if a woman is not a match, make the date fun, it's OK.

fwiw i was married young and divorced last year (amicable, no drama) so hence my rustiness. have gone on a number of dates but getting the sense i'm coming on too strong (for the ones i have interest in - have also gone on dates where i want to leave right away).

Anonymous wrote:How did she react? Some people will mind, some won't.
I think it's fine as long as you aren't pushing for exclusivity this early.

OP here - definitely was and AM NOT pushing for exclusivity. The very night before, i was with another woman (however the one I asked, I would rather be in an exclusive relationship than with the woman from the night before).

My curiosity got the best of me and I guess my mask slipped (in that she probably knows now that I value her higher than others i'm dating).

I just was seeking some transparency or clues i guess of where i stood in her hierarchy or ladder.

Such a beta move, I know.

Anonymous wrote:How did she react? Some people will mind, some won't.
I think it's fine as long as you aren't pushing for exclusivity this early.

Everything PP said. It just depends but it likely won't send women running for the hills.

Apparently all you need is a kitten and Nutella

How did she react? Some people will mind, some won't.
I think it's fine as long as you aren't pushing for exclusivity this early.

Asking a lady if she's seeing anyone else after a 2nd date...ok or offlimits?

we're both in our very early 30's. both dates have been good and after the 2nd one I asked if she was seeing anyone.