Anonymous wrote:My older sister is getting married in Alaska (where her fiancé is originally from). I'm going to go and I intend to bring DS but I am not sure what to do about DH. Things have really not been good between us and we are discussing whether to get an apartment to rotate through so that we can get some space. As things stand, I'm not anxious to have him at the wedding. I need to get this decision made in the relatively near future, as the wedding is in the spring.

All the more reason to go together. Use an opportunity to do something new and interesting with the family to reconnect. Stay a couple days after the wedding and explore. Going to the wedding alone is taking a giant step toward splitting up. It's as though you're already planning and living your separate life.

Anonymous wrote:Weddings and travel both bring out the worst in people. You don't want a fight at your sister's wedding--pretty much every weddings I've been to has been spoiled by fights with my husband. I'd say leave him at home unless he's very offended by this notion.

This is not normal. This is crazy.

Anonymous wrote:Go without him. Enjoy your sister's wedding and a break away from him. No need to tell anyone anything other than "he couldn't make it to the wedding". You will be far less stressed without him, and have a chance to hang out with old friends and family members without having to put in the extra effort to be on your best behavior.

+1 I doubt people will pry too much. It's an expensive ticket, far away, and most people get meager vacation.

Weddings and travel both bring out the worst in people. You don't want a fight at your sister's wedding--pretty much every weddings I've been to has been spoiled by fights with my husband. I'd say leave him at home unless he's very offended by this notion.

Go without him. Enjoy your sister's wedding and a break away from him. No need to tell anyone anything other than "he couldn't make it to the wedding". You will be far less stressed without him, and have a chance to hang out with old friends and family members without having to put in the extra effort to be on your best behavior.

OP, Alaska is beautiful and I'd be very upset if my spouse refused to "bring me" there. First, you are expecting your husband to stay home and be a good boy, take care of the house, and presumably have no female companionship while you're gone. You are also dictating to him where and when you will bring your son. If you divorce, (and I would over this action) forget all about him playing nice. The next event you care about may be on his weekend, a weekend that he does not have to change to accomidate you. He also does not have to agree to the two of you renting an apartment to rotate through. Why would he if you have so little regard for him? The law is on his side if he tells you he wants to sell the house and split all assets.

1. There is legally no way that these people can be divorced by the time of the wedding so it is not going to be an issue
2. The post says are discussing separating and getting an apartment, so presumably the DH is aware of the fact that there are problems and they may be going their ways.

OP, Alaska is beautiful and I'd be very upset if my spouse refused to "bring me" there. First, you are expecting your husband to stay home and be a good boy, take care of the house, and presumably have no female companionship while you're gone. You are also dictating to him where and when you will bring your son. If you divorce, (and I would over this action) forget all about him playing nice. The next event you care about may be on his weekend, a weekend that he does not have to change to accomidate you. He also does not have to agree to the two of you renting an apartment to rotate through. Why would he if you have so little regard for him? The law is on his side if he tells you he wants to sell the house and split all assets. The law won't care about touchy feely stuff or what you want. I'd suggest the two of you make up. I think you can if you are willing to still be linked with property. If he won't put out, and/or won't spend time with you as a couple and with your son as a family unit, then divorce. But, you are the one casting stones here and you need to stop. Whatever happens, you are setting a strong precedient with your behavior, one that will be done to you and which you won't like. Remember the addage that if you can do it to someone, someone can do it to you. Think about if this is how you want to be treated. And, I agree with the poster that whatever you do, don't bring your issues to your sister's wedding. I kind of think you may want to still be the center of attention, after all you were married first and had a child first, and now you may be divorced first, so what better way to remain in the spotlight by not bringing your husband.

Does he want to go?

You talk about your DH as if he was luggage.

Just don't take him. Does he want to go. If not, no biggie. You don't need to explain anything.

Spend the money for DS's ticket on therapy and leave ds with his dad while you go to wedding.

Whatever you do, don't let your marital trouble overshadow her wedding.

I'm sure you could easily make some excuse as to why he couldn't make it. Go with your DS and let your DH have some time and space.

Good for you for having the adults rotate homes and not the kid. Good luck.

How old is DS? I ask because depending on age, it might make more sense (regardless of what's going on with DH) for you to go to the wedding solo, and DH can take care of DS back home.

If you've got a really little kid, the trip to Alaska is a long one. If you've got a school age kid, you want to avoid pulling him out of school.

Guess I'm just suggesting that you can use that as a way to avoid the issue of your DH's absence. Will also allow you to enjoy the wedding more, since you can focus on your sister and not be worrying about taking care of DS, or tension with your DH.

Good luck.

My older sister is getting married in Alaska (where her fiancé is originally from). I'm going to go and I intend to bring DS but I am not sure what to do about DH. Things have really not been good between us and we are discussing whether to get an apartment to rotate through so that we can get some space. As things stand, I'm not anxious to have him at the wedding. I need to get this decision made in the relatively near future, as the wedding is in the spring.