she is pushing again

So?
Sounds like you have a page worth of story. Dog is only part of it.

I'm on your side, OP, but you should not have let the dog into your home. Offer to pay for a kennel next time? We have friends who brings their dog over, but know that he stays outside, since we have allergies. I'd be ticked off with dog hair too!

I feel your pain, except it's my mom who is the dog person. I think that there are some people who enjoy having dogs as pets and then there are some people who enjoy having dogs as eternal babies that they expect the rest of us to receive and treat as one of the family. I've felt it more akin to visiting with a loving and busy toddler whose parents laugh at every messy or intrusive thing it does. These kinds of dog people think that pets should be able to go wherever their people go and good luck trying to convince them otherwise. Maybe I'm projecting, but your story makes me wonder whether you'd have any luck getting your MIL to come minus the dog.

The etiquette you expect in your home, though, is another matter. I don't think it's bad to ask them to clean up after the dog, including the hair. Leave supplies to do this within easy and visible reach. Small children love using those fabric rollers on upholstery - practice with the kids ahead of time and make a lighthearted comment in front of them before you go about being good helpers for Grandma.

Either that or treat yourself to a deep clean scheduled for the day you get back so you come home to a clean place. (Or - if you don't have alternate options yet - start looking now so you'll have someone else to stay with the kids when you go out of town.)

I'd just be clear that you only allowed the dog because it was an emergency, but that it's something you don't ever want to do again.

Establish visits to you as "no dog" times, and be clear whenever you do move that it will still be the case…but better to be firm now and keep that established.

It sounds like having MIL babysit isn't worth the effort except for an emergency situation--and I like the PP's idea of paying for a kennel in that case.

Ugh, You are awful OP.

You know, I love dogs. But my wife has pet dander allergies. That said, if the kids will let them, we allow dogs to kiss the kids. The one caveat is that when we're done playing with the the dog, we wash hands and face.

However, the one thing in your long message that was an issue for me is that it is against the lease. I would not allow it when it was against the lease. In your situation, when you asked MIL to come and she wanted to bring the dog, I would offer to pay for a kennel service. If she wouldn't accept, then I would have taken the kid with me and found a local sitter from a nanny agency wherever I went. I would not risk losing my home over a lease dispute. Basically allowing your MIL to bring the dog raises, legal issues for you. If you have any argument with the landlord, they can use this violation of the lease as cause to evict you; they don't need another reason. Also, they will then charge you for a professional cleaning to get any and all pet dander and hair out of the property which will come out of your security deposit. So, I don't like to create a situation with a landlord or give them any reason to evict me (even if they don't use it) or to hold my security deposit.

Everything else is a byproduct of needing an emergency favor and accepting their help. You deal with the other consequences. And FYI, you can rent a professional vacuum by the hour that will pick up pet hair better than your home machine. Just rent one, go over the car and house and return it. You'll have it one 1-2 hours and it should remove one more annoyance from your list of peeves.

Someone with bad allergies here: let those dogs lick your kids! Anything is better than allergy hell. Dogs give great germs to help your kids' immune systems.

Anonymous wrote:
Maybe just tell her you got complaints from the landlord last time? We try to leave dad and dog home together.

THis sounds like great solution, OP.

OP. Wow. You have NO idea how weird people are about their dogs. What would you do if you want to visit your mother-in-law and she told you that you should leave your kids behind somewhere because they're germy and dirty? That's the problem here. It's her new baby.

I don't know how to make it less gross for you. My parents do the same thing and it drives me nuts.

Maybe just tell her you got complaints from the landlord last time? We try to leave dad and dog home together.

lol, nothing you listed would bother me in the slightest. My dog licks the food off my toddler's face. It's wonderfully convenient.

The fur is kind of obnoxious, but it got much better once I started feeding a higher quality kibble. I also got a black dog so it matches my black pants

It's disgusting and I would have DH tell her not to bring him again. Your kids can see the dog when you visit her at her home.

Loosen up, OP.

Sorry you so vehemently hate dogs. That sounds exhausting.

You asked MIL to come. She stated she + dog are package deal. You asked her to come anyway. Next time, tell her that you found a dog friendly hotel for her to stay at if she must stay with the dog, or else she is welcome to come animal-less if she wants to stay in your home.

Dogs provide a LOT of unconditional love and affection. My dog gazes into my eyes warmly, on a daily basis. She follows me from room to room. If I leave her sleeping in one room and I make it into another when she wakes, she'll give a little bark like "Hey, where'd ya go?"

Your FIL sounds pretty checked out of life - useless as a babysitter, couldn't even sleep over for a night or two, etc. Maybe your MIL really appreciates the companionship of the dog.

I would not put my dog in a kennel either. I grew up with a dog who'd give me kisses for up to 20 minutes straight. I have great skin, and it never made me sick or anything. I let my current dog kiss my babies. They haven't died yet. Our dog does not shed.

Just ask your BIL to vacuum up the dog hair before you come home next time.

My MIL has been saying forever that she wants to babysit for us while we go out of town for a couple of days. I have always been concerned she couldn't really handle my kids, but when a semi-emergency came up that required me and DH to leave for 2 nights, we took her up on her offer. She accepted, though I think she realized we kind of called her bluff on a situation that would be quite difficult, as she asked my BIL (her other son) to come for the weekend, too, so she would have some extra help (my FIL came too, though he is pretty useless with the kids). The day before we left, she told us she was also bringing her dog, because she didn't want to kennel him. Dogs are against our lease, and it is no secret that DH and I do not like dogs or the truly IMMENSE amount of dog hair that this one brings. But, at that point, I didn't have any good back-up options (I could have called a babysitter a few days prior), so in came MIL, FIL, BIL, and dog to care for our 2 kids.

Things went ok while we were gone. FIL left to sleep in a hotel because he didn't want his sleep disturbed by my toddler, but my MIL and BIL did fine, though she was quite tired (understandably). When we came back, my house was predictably covered in dog hair -- in rugs, on couches, and, what was most annoying, ALL OVER MY CAR. They apparently went to a park and couldn't leave the dog with my FIL for even an hour. But, most annoying to me, I walked in and the dog was seriously using my child as a lollipop. It was unreal. The dog was licking her the way I lick a frosting-covered mixer. And, hilariously, MIL told me "neither kid needs a bath."

Now she is pushing again, and reminds me every time that the "dog saved the day with the kids -- they love him so much." I never want to see that dog again. I still find dog hair in my rugs even though I've vacuumed 1000 times.

I know I simply say no -- the dog is against our lease. But what is her deal?!! Why the obsession with bringing the dog EVERYWHERE. She is even reluctant to visit for holidays without the freaking dog.