Us too, we stopped entertaining. Stinks but I guess they werent true friends.

OP I get it. DH and I stopped entertaining except for family because of this. People loved to come and eat our food and drink our booze but we rarely got invites back and sometimes I'd see via social media they had gatherings and didn't invite us! We stopped over a year ago and not one of those people has wondered where we went.

Some people love to throw parties and host others and are known as the party people but they expect reciprocity.

On the other hand, some people reluctantly accept these invites knowing that they won't reciprocate for various reasons such as being busy with other invites or they're not comfortable hosting parties or they can't afford to host whether it is at their home or at another location.

Anonymous wrote:DH and I love to entertain. We regularly host anywhere from a couple or two to large 50+ people gatherings over the course of the year. All casual, we are not formal people. We've even had people ask us way in advance if we're still having one of our two annual events. Yet, I find that we are rarely invited elsewhere. Super Bowl tonight has me thinking as I watch my FB feed fill up with people talking about their plans, DCUM posts about last minute appetizers and desserts.

We have lots of friends and life is overall good, but it would be nice if occasionally we weren't the ones to have to clean the house, spend the money, and open our door to others! Sometimes I think people assume that because we entertain so often that we must always have plans. DH is an introvert and doesn't mind, but I'm a people person so it occasionally bums me out.

Just a vent.

So you don't like to entertain.

Our kids are in sports shit all weekend long that I'm too tired to host people in my home.

I try to always reciprocate when I've been invited to a dinner or drinks to somebody else's home.

We do much more--kids are in bed stop over for some drinks very last minute with neighbors.

Now that our kids are 7+-- more of us get sitters and go out to dinner vs in somebody's home.

The whole family and kid stuff we did with babies/toddlers had gone the way of just the adults going out and kids home with babysitter. It's so much more relaxing. I always hated having everyone's kids in my house.

I feel bad because one of my friends constantly throws casual get togethers and always invites us, and we have yet to reciprocate. But the thing is, her house is immaculate, large and well-decorated and her idea of a "casual" get-together includes a full spread of hot and cold appetizers, open bar, a hot meal, and a gourmet dessert, no matter how many people are in attendance and how last-minute the invitations go out. I am utterly unable to compete with that. My house is small, kind of messy, has a million unfinished projects and I can't afford to splurge on enough gourmet food and top-shelf liquor to feed an army whenever the mood strikes. Frankly, I'm intimidated.

We rarely host because we are messy and our apartment isn't set up well for entertaining. Not just the kind of messy where we can toss a few things in closets, but stained carpet, piles of paper...very messy. And our kid's bedroom is right off the living room so we can't exactly have a dinner party while he is asleep. We have play dates and get pizza, but I would never host a party or adult event.

Anonymous wrote:DH and I love to entertain. We regularly host anywhere from a couple or two to large 50+ people gatherings over the course of the year. All casual, we are not formal people. We've even had people ask us way in advance if we're still having one of our two annual events. Yet, I find that we are rarely invited elsewhere. Super Bowl tonight has me thinking as I watch my FB feed fill up with people talking about their plans, DCUM posts about last minute appetizers and desserts.

We have lots of friends and life is overall good, but it would be nice if occasionally we weren't the ones to have to clean the house, spend the money, and open our door to others! Sometimes I think people assume that because we entertain so often that we must always have plans. DH is an introvert and doesn't mind, but I'm a people person so it occasionally bums me out.

Just a vent.

That's your problem in bold above. Unless you're the classic, seated dinner party type, where usually people know to reciprocate dinner invitations. If your invitations are informal and include overlapping social circles, then keeping score becomes silly and impractical.

Accept that you host more than the average.

Incidentally, how many times do your "rare" invitations occur? Perhaps for your hosts they represent the utmost they can do. It's only compared to your frenzied hosting that they seem sparse.
We invite people to dinner/party about once a month (not counting playdates), and receive similarly infrequent invitations.

It's so rude and I can't imagine people don't feel the need to reciprocate. Even if someone does not enjoy hosting, which is understandable as it's not easy for everyone, but they must show their appreciation in other ways! OP your friends should be hosting you at parties, or tickets to a game or a show. People are so clueless

I believe that some people love to host, and it's their prerogative. I do not like to host; my house is small and my spouse is on the antisocial side. I never worry about it.

Anonymous wrote:My house sucks. It's a work in progress but I am embarrased so very few people are allowed in. Maybe it is them, not you. We usually go out when we invite. Our house is also very small so it is hard to have more than one other family.

This is how I feel too. Plus, I am a single mom, and sometimes the idea of histng a bunch of people is overwhelming (shopping, cleaning prepping food on my own while also caring for DD.) but we get invited to other people's homes a lot. So I'm constantly feeling guilty.

See the manners post in off topic. I think people become reluctant to host after that kind thing (people cancelling at last minute & general asshole behaviour).

My house sucks. It's a work in progress but I am embarrased so very few people are allowed in. Maybe it is them, not you. We usually go out when we invite. Our house is also very small so it is hard to have more than one other family.

Most people are moochers. Learn to make your own family fun. And for God's sale GET OFF OF FACEBOOK. Seriously, it's all lies.

DH and I love to entertain. We regularly host anywhere from a couple or two to large 50+ people gatherings over the course of the year. All casual, we are not formal people. We've even had people ask us way in advance if we're still having one of our two annual events. Yet, I find that we are rarely invited elsewhere. Super Bowl tonight has me thinking as I watch my FB feed fill up with people talking about their plans, DCUM posts about last minute appetizers and desserts.

We have lots of friends and life is overall good, but it would be nice if occasionally we weren't the ones to have to clean the house, spend the money, and open our door to others! Sometimes I think people assume that because we entertain so often that we must always have plans. DH is an introvert and doesn't mind, but I'm a people person so it occasionally bums me out.

Just a vent.