We are in the preschool and toddler years, so we have several friends who just have one preschooler. THEY look relaxed. They have likely been sleeping through the night for some time, and their kid can wipe their own butt and put their own shoes on to walk to the car and get in independently. I never understood why some people are one and done, but it all makes sense now. Silly me, just as my kid was becoming an actual human being, we had to go and start all over.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In general, the people I know without kids look so much different than those with in a way I can't define. Is it because they get more sleep, have more time to get ready? Is life less stressfull overall? Priorities are different?

Yeah, but as they get older and realize they're going to die alone without leaving any sort of legacy or family, the serenity gives way to sheer panic and depression.

Keep trying to convince yourself that "it's all worth it."

Seriously. I have 9 nieces and nephews. Plenty of family. No stress.

NP. Are your nieces and nephews going to take care of you in your old age, on top of their own parents? I wouldn't count on it.

I don't notice it so much.

I mean of course, parents of newborns, esp. mothers always look so tired and haggard. And unshowered. But that is just par for the course.

But as kids get older, parents get more used to their routines and tend to adapt accordingly.

And look at all the celebrity parents. How does Angelina Jolie look so good after caring for eight kids all day? She doesn't, that is why!!

Yes, Octomom looks so haggard. Because she DOES.

I agree with 22:47. If you are childless and wanted it to be that way, then you are probably more relaxed and happier than a similar person in a similar situation with kids. But if you are single and/or childless and upset about it, then you might not be at all more relaxed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In general, the people I know without kids look so much different than those with in a way I can't define. Is it because they get more sleep, have more time to get ready? Is life less stressfull overall? Priorities are different?

Yeah, but as they get older and realize they're going to die alone without leaving any sort of legacy or family, the serenity gives way to sheer panic and depression.

Agree

Uh, I feel like this is a no-brainer question. All things equal, people without kids simply have the ability to be more relaxed. They are more in control of their own destiny (i.e. sleep when they want, eat when they want). They get more sleep. They get to spend more time with other people they love (i.e. spouses/bf/gf). They get to spend more time in fun adult conversations with friends. They can spend their money on themselves instead of on their kids. They can get ready in the morning without anyone banging on the door or trying to kill each other. YES, life is less stressful. Do you remember not having kids?

The issue, of course, is that things are not all equal in most cases. You don't know what someone else's situation is. Maybe they don't have kids, but they have a chronic health issue or a parent who is ailing or extended family to support financially or some other issue.

some are. But some of the least-relaxed, most-stressed women I known are my friends who are hitting 40, still looking for a husband and kids and not finding that.

(I am a single mom who was 36 when I had my unplanned but welcome child, so I completely remember and understand that stress.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In general, the people I know without kids look so much different than those with in a way I can't define. Is it because they get more sleep, have more time to get ready? Is life less stressfull overall? Priorities are different?

Yeah, but as they get older and realize they're going to die alone without leaving any sort of legacy or family, the serenity gives way to sheer panic and depression.

Keep trying to convince yourself that "it's all worth it."

Seriously. I have 9 nieces and nephews. Plenty of family. No stress.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In general, the people I know without kids look so much different than those with in a way I can't define. Is it because they get more sleep, have more time to get ready? Is life less stressfull overall? Priorities are different?

Yeah, but as they get older and realize they're going to die alone without leaving any sort of legacy or family, the serenity gives way to sheer panic and depression.

Keep trying to convince yourself that "it's all worth it."

It depends on state in life. People with small children are generally less relaxed than childless people. I work in healthcare and see how much more stressed childless people are when they are old, sick, and not able to care for themselves. Also, I've often heard people say how much more relaxed their own parents are when they become grandparents.

Of course there's loads of exceptions to all these.

If you want relaxed, try retired people with a reliable retirement income, kids or no kids. That is relaxed.

Anonymous wrote:In general, the people I know without kids look so much different than those with in a way I can't define. Is it because they get more sleep, have more time to get ready? Is life less stressfull overall? Priorities are different?

Yeah, but as they get older and realize they're going to die alone without leaving any sort of legacy or family, the serenity gives way to sheer panic and depression.

Eh, bullshit. They have a different set of concerns but they are not necessarily more relaxed.

All other things being equal (health, wealth, friends, family, career, etc) then yes they are more relaxed.

In general, the people I know without kids look so much different than those with in a way I can't define. Is it because they get more sleep, have more time to get ready? Is life less stressfull overall? Priorities are different?