Another alternative is having them visit every 6 weeks instead of once a month.

Every month for 4 days is a lot.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any way you can get 4 nights down to 2 or 3 nights? Then, I'd plan fun activities for myself on the weekends that the in-laws are visiting - go see an old friend, spa, see a movie by yourself, even overnight trip to see friends far away. Your in-laws and DH can babysit. You may be surprised at how your DH becomes not so thrilled with the visits after you go away for the weekend a few times.

Yep. When someone visits that regularly, I think the protocol changes. They dont get treated like "honored guests". They get downgraded slightly, to more of "thanks for coming, but we are basically living our normal lives". I wouldnt pull out all the stops. I would be busy as hell. And certainly not help with any maintenance stuff. And if DH throws a hissy fit about it, then you put your foot down. just like he is doing about forcing you to accommodate his parents.

+1. Can't expect to get special treatment if you visit that often. In-laws should be more sensitive. But also, OP, look at the amount of work you are doing for them and decide if it's really necessary-- and if they really expect it or if you just think they do. The day I gave up trying to impress my MIL by cooking and cleaning was the day I became a happier woman.

Suck it up, OP. Suck it up. That's the appropriate, un-childish thing to do in this situation. Sorry, I can see how it's hard.

Anonymous wrote:Any way you can get 4 nights down to 2 or 3 nights? Then, I'd plan fun activities for myself on the weekends that the in-laws are visiting - go see an old friend, spa, see a movie by yourself, even overnight trip to see friends far away. Your in-laws and DH can babysit. You may be surprised at how your DH becomes not so thrilled with the visits after you go away for the weekend a few times.

Yep. When someone visits that regularly, I think the protocol changes. They dont get treated like "honored guests". They get downgraded slightly, to more of "thanks for coming, but we are basically living our normal lives". I wouldnt pull out all the stops. I would be busy as hell. And certainly not help with any maintenance stuff. And if DH throws a hissy fit about it, then you put your foot down. just like he is doing about forcing you to accommodate his parents.

I'm sorry, HE is being childish?

Can you send DH and DC to visit ILs for 1 weekend?

Here's my thing, people, particularly family, are welcome anytime in my home. There will always be plenty of food (though I won't always do the cooking) and a clean place to sleep. However, I won't always change my plans or provide company, unless I am inclined to.

Is it a weekend or while he is at work? Can they babysit while you two go out on a Saturday night? 4 days a month is a bit much. Do take out a few nights they are there.

Next time they visit, play sick and stay in your room most of the visit. Once your husband feels the pressure of being the primary host these monthly visits will seem less attractive to him.

Any way you can get 4 nights down to 2 or 3 nights? Then, I'd plan fun activities for myself on the weekends that the in-laws are visiting - go see an old friend, spa, see a movie by yourself, even overnight trip to see friends far away. Your in-laws and DH can babysit. You may be surprised at how your DH becomes not so thrilled with the visits after you go away for the weekend a few times.

Next time they come to visit that is your time to go and visit your mom and have a little rest. leave the baby behind knowing that there will be three adults who can care for her/him for a night or two

Then I would refuse to do any work for them. Who is doing the majority of cooking and cleaning while they are there? Tell your DH it is going to be up to him to clean the house to get it ready, to feed them, etc.

Or just tell your inlaws directly how much stress it puts you under.

Does your husband do this much (demand his way)? If not, I would let this go. It obviously is important to him. If he does, I would have a come to Jesus talk with him and set up some parameters.

You're going to catch hell on this topic OP. Most people on her think you should kiss your guest ass. I do not agree with this. Next time they come into town you go out and stay in a hotel away from them. You are in a very shitty situation. Or tell the ILs that once a month is too much every other month or they can stay in a hotel. Or start getting your family to stay with you until he feels uncomfortable.

My ILs live in another state and come out to visit our baby. They have started coming out every month and it is way too much. They always stay in our house and I'm getting fed up. Our house is very small and there just isn't enough room. Plus I just don't like having houseguests for 4 nights. I'm not the biggest fan of my ILs but I can put on a fake happy face and put up with them. But I really want them to stay in a hotel. I've told DH this multiple times. I've also told him that monthly visits are a little too much, especially because they stay in the house. He simply doesn't give a fuck that I want them to stay in a hotel. He always argues that because my parents live about an hour away, they see DC more often and therefore it is totally ok that his parents come out and stay with is. Aside from directly telling the ILs that I want them to not stay with us (and cause a huge fight with DH and probably drama with the ILs because they expect to stay with us, despite the fact that they are wealthy), I don't know what I can do. I think he's being childish and I'm so frustrated!