Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about getting proactive and, gasp, actually asking men out?

Oh gosh- the misogyny troll is online. Joy.

your knee jerk reaction is tired and trifling. If she's only waiting for men to contact her, why can't OP change things up and ask men out instead?

Waiting for you to point out where she said she is "only waiting for men to contact her".

Your trolling is boring. Go away.

I never said she was waiting. I said "IF" she was then perhaps she may want to change things up a bit.

But your first response was what, just stupidity? Ignorance? a momentary lapse of reading comprehension? No, it's clear, a hater is gonna hate no matter what, right?

I hated the idea of being "on the shelf" in online dating, waiting for someone to judge my cover and give me a look. There was a low-level sense of constant rejection, just being out there waiting for someone to click. Worse were the promising e-mail exchanges that went nowhere, or that were drawn out and resulting in an in-person meeting with no chemistry whatsoever.

I quit the membership-based sites where you have a profile and took a friend's recommendation to put an ad up on Craigslist in the m4w section. CL has a seedy reputation, but the regular dating section is full of -- regular people!

What's best is you don't create a profile. You just put an ad up and see what happens. I would look about 5 days ahead and think of what I wanted to do the following weekend -- maybe, take a hike along the Potomac Overlook trail, or bike on the Mount Vernon trail, or check out a new exhibit at the American History museum. Then, I'd put up an ad looking for a companion for the activity. I'd specify that I'm eventually interested in an LTR, so looking for someone who is similarly looking, and provide some basic stats. No pic.

Met LOTS of great people this way. What was great about it is that it resulted in an immediate meet, not a lengthy correspondence with emotional investment. At worst, it was an awkward couple of hours, but most meets were really fun, and at the very least I got some exercise or got out of the house.

I had a number of great dates, including a few repeats, a few funny duds, and then met my now-husband on the 15th date. Highly recommended!!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about getting proactive and, gasp, actually asking men out?

Oh gosh- the misogyny troll is online. Joy.

your knee jerk reaction is tired and trifling. If she's only waiting for men to contact her, why can't OP change things up and ask men out instead?

Waiting for you to point out where she said she is "only waiting for men to contact her".

Your trolling is boring. Go away.

Anonymous wrote:How about getting proactive and, gasp, actually asking men out?

Did I miss something in the first post? Because nowhere does she mention her just sitting back

Anonymous wrote:How about getting proactive and, gasp, actually asking men out?

I don't think this is necessarily a troll. As a woman, I have asked some guys out online. In fact, about 1/2 the guys I have dated have been ones that I contacted first. I have good taste..,

I'm in the same boat as you. Single mom dating again. I have also met some great guys and had a couple of relationships but haven't met my soul mate. I'm not sure if I ever will (I am pretty picky -- which I realize makes it tougher. I don't think that settling for less is the answer, however).

I'm taking a break for a while. I need to focus more attention on my career and myself. Online dating can be very time consuming.

I am still optimistic about finding someone to spend my life with. Luckily, I figure I have a good 40 years to work on it, so there is no hurry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How about getting proactive and, gasp, actually asking men out?

Oh gosh- the misogyny troll is online. Joy.

your knee jerk reaction is tired and trifling. If she's only waiting for men to contact her, why can't OP change things up and ask men out instead?

You are discouraged about dating. Period. This is dating. It's not online dating. Anywhere you get dates from this is going to happen. If you want to take a break from the dating scene for a while that sounds perfectly reasonable. But you know, everyone gets burned out. Chalk it up to experience. I had a really bad dating experience right before I met my husband.

Take a break.

Online dating can be time consuming and almost depressing at times. All the reading, screening, messaging, emailing, blah blah. Then it leads to nowhere.

Like it has been said already, you'll find someone when you are actively looking.

So enjoy being single. Go out and do some things you enjoy. Then one day when you lease expect it....BAM...some guy pops in your life. No work required.

Signed a single dad who stopped online dating for the same reasons. Happier now that I'm not actively looking for someone in a catalog

It's all up to you.

If you get the feeling that you are getting a little burned out by it all + could use a break, then by all means do so.

Actually the process of meeting people online, corresponding to them while screening out the ones who are incompatible plus meeting the ones who seem like they have potential sounds to me like a full-time job!

Just remember- "you don't have to be lonely at farmersonly.com!"

I would take a break. It will allow you to gain some perspective as to whether you really want to keep dating this way.

And you know what they say- usually comes around when you are least expecting it.

Anonymous wrote:How about getting proactive and, gasp, actually asking men out?

Oh gosh- the misogyny troll is online. Joy.

How about getting proactive and, gasp, actually asking men out?

Feeling very discouraged about online dating. Been dating on and off for two years now. Had one serious relationship and two not so serious ones. Met a lot of nice people. But just feel down that I still haven't met someone for the long term. Single mom so hard to meet men other ways.

Wonder if I should take my profile down and take a break for a bit. Feel like it's the same folks on there...