I get involved if there is a risk of failure.

I'm talking more about the older grades middle school thru high school.

But for an exceptional student, an 'A' student, I get involved when C's on assignments/tests in any class are recurring to see what's going on.

OP, why don't you ask the teacher why they are assigning homework and what their expectations are?

I think the key here, if you help with homework, is to make sure the teacher knows what the student struggled with. There will eventually be a test on the material and the parents won't be there to correct the student.
Kudos to parents that help with homework and have the patience for it. Mine were completely hands off and though I didn't (and don't) mind I definitely wonder how things would be different if they had been more hands on.

I watch to make sure my 2nd grader does it. I help slightly if he's stuck. But if it's clear he's really confused, I leave it and write in the margin that he had trouble with this concept. That way the teacher knows that he has not mastered the concepts.

I don't see myself ever truly correcting homework for a variety of reasons. The teacher needs to know what he does and does not know. And he needs to know it's ok to make mistakes. Making mistakes is an important part of the learning process.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with all of the other posters, and your friend.

The only caveat I will add is that we've had some issues with time management and organization, so we hit a bit of a wall in 5th and 6th grade, as assignments increase and especially with multiple teachers/classes in middle school. To get over that hurdle, we were checking their "agenda" (student organizer) each night to make sure they had written down their assignments (or written NONE if there was none) and then confirmed they had completed the assignment. NOT checking work to see if it was correct, just if it was done.
Once the kids got into a rhythm, we were able to dial that back.

Like PP, with larger projects (Science Fair, etc.) we do check in with the kids and make sure they are hitting milestones, and offering feedback, and yes pointing out typos, etc.

It really is important for the teachers to see how your child (not you) is doing the homework. They want to know if they need to try different techniques/approaches etc. in order to make sure your child (and all the other students) are really understanding the material.

I'm 18:57. This may be true for some teachers, but I know that when I've talked to my childs teachers, they have no problem with parents helping their kids. She said to put a note if there was something they were really struggling with, or contact her if there was any problems.

Former teacher here.
Homework is intended to be practice for the student. Knowing full well that parents sometimes help with or correct homework, it should never be graded. It is true that teachers want to know if a student is having difficulty with homework. The way I handled this was .... If a parent helped with or corrected homework, I asked that they add a little note letting me know the trouble spots or simply sign it if they looked over it. This way, I knew that the child had assistance. Since homework was never graded, parents knew they could be honest about any struggles the child had. It was my job to help the student understand concepts that were problematic.
I would never tell a parent not to help a student if the student asked for help. I would also never tell a parent how to handle the completion of homework - they are the parents and it is not my job to tell them how to parent. I am already “invading” in their time by assigning homework to begin with. As a teacher, I simply want to know if there were any problem areas. Trust between parent and teacher is important if they student is to do his/her very best.

My parents were hands off parents. They never knew if I had homework and never asked if I had finished homework. They never helped me complete any school projects. I grew up in California and realized my Asian friends all had parents who corrected their homework, helped them if the answers were wrong or got tutors for their kids. In fact, for math they all had the teacher's edition of the books that had all the answers in the back. Meanwhile the student books just had the odd answers. All of their homework was corrected by their parents. If they didn't get a problem right the parents made them re-do it. I loved doing group projects with them because their parents were willing to buy supplies, bring us snacks and drinks while we worked, hold off dinner. Basically their households revolved around us doing a great job on the project. They all were high achieving kids regardless of how bright they were. The ones who I didn't think were very smart, got A's because they worked very hard. I coasted and got A's but never learned how to work hard.
Now I have kids and don't want them to slack off. College is much more competitive now. I sit down with them while they do homework. Sometimes I make them answer problems different ways. If they are studying something in science or history we go to the library to get books and videos on the topic. They are top students in their elementary grades.

Our school principal tells us to provide reminders & prompts to do it, and hints/suggestions to help out if they get stuck, but otherwise let them do it themselves unless it is a parent-child project or they're confused.

DD is in sixth grade. She does her homework by herself. I will help study for tests when asked. If she gets stuck, I have her explain it to me and then she generally gets it.

That's it.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with all of the other posters, and your friend.

The only caveat I will add is that we've had some issues with time management and organization, so we hit a bit of a wall in 5th and 6th grade, as assignments increase and especially with multiple teachers/classes in middle school. To get over that hurdle, we were checking their "agenda" (student organizer) each night to make sure they had written down their assignments (or written NONE if there was none) and then confirmed they had completed the assignment. NOT checking work to see if it was correct, just if it was done.
Once the kids got into a rhythm, we were able to dial that back.

Like PP, with larger projects (Science Fair, etc.) we do check in with the kids and make sure they are hitting milestones, and offering feedback, and yes pointing out typos, etc.

It really is important for the teachers to see how your child (not you) is doing the homework. They want to know if they need to try different techniques/approaches etc. in order to make sure your child (and all the other students) are really understanding the material.

I'm 18:57. This may be true for some teachers, but I know that when I've talked to my childs teachers, they have no problem with parents helping their kids. She said to put a note if there was something they were really struggling with, or contact her if there was any problems.

Here's how it works in my house (I got so sick and f-ing tired of the nightly homework battle, it was ruining our lives!).

I leave it up to my kid to start his homework. If an hour goes by since he got home and he still hasn't started it, I tell him to do his homework. If he needs help, I go sit down and help him. I will go through all of it with him if necessary. I used to tell him it was his work, not mine, but he would get so frustrated and be in tears. Eventually I reached my breaking point with it and realized it wasn't worth it to be this miserable everyday. If having me sit through it with him will resolve this HUGE problem , it's worth it.

The other day he did all of it without my help, so I know that he WILL do it without help if he can. He was very happy and proud when he showed me it was complete and without my help. So it reinforced to me that I made the right choice to help him when he needs it. I have also found that when I help him, I have shown him strategies to do things faster and memorize certain things. He also appreciates my help and expresses gratitude frequently.

I think that every kid is different, and some kids need help (or do better at least with help.). Others don't need it and those parents are incredibly lucky, but that is definitely not my child.

I agree with all of the other posters, and your friend.

The only caveat I will add is that we've had some issues with time management and organization, so we hit a bit of a wall in 5th and 6th grade, as assignments increase and especially with multiple teachers/classes in middle school. To get over that hurdle, we were checking their "agenda" (student organizer) each night to make sure they had written down their assignments (or written NONE if there was none) and then confirmed they had completed the assignment. NOT checking work to see if it was correct, just if it was done.
Once the kids got into a rhythm, we were able to dial that back.

Like PP, with larger projects (Science Fair, etc.) we do check in with the kids and make sure they are hitting milestones, and offering feedback, and yes pointing out typos, etc.

It really is important for the teachers to see how your child (not you) is doing the homework. They want to know if they need to try different techniques/approaches etc. in order to make sure your child (and all the other students) are really understanding the material.

My philosophy for my kids DS 10 and DS 13 is to let them to it entirely themselves. Sometimes my DS 10 asks questions and if he does I answer them or show him how to do it. My DS 13 is incredibly independent and that is the main skill that I want for homework. Having a responsibility and taking charge of it.

If one has a larger project, I will make suggestions. For example, if my older DS has a poster board project he often asks me to help him glue the pieces on. If there is a typo or error, I will point it out because it's not my job to ignore mistakes. But on regular assignments I simply don't look.

Let me put it this way. Your child has a very long way to go in school. Are you really going to get this involved in their nightly homework when they're in middle school or high school? My advice is back off. Checking every now and then is fine. Doing this every.single.day isn't sustainable unless this is your only kid and you've got buckets of extra time of your hands. And I don't think that's your role as the parent, but that's just my opinion.

For the most part I consider homework to be their responsibility and between them and the teacher. Occasionally I might help them study for a quiz by asking questions or look over a longer assignment and give some feedback but that's about it.

I guess what I mean is it's not just what is the purpose of homework, but how much are they owning it.

Could anyone share how they approach helping with homework? I'm trying to figure out how I feel about parents being involved with or correcting homework in elementary/middle school.

Currently I will check over their homework to see they've got it done correctly and neatly. If it's something with a definite correct answer, like multiple choice questions or a page of math problems, and it's wrong I circle the number and tell them to try again. If they get it wrong again after trying to redo it I tell them to get their book or their notes and I help them work through until they get it right or to look through the book/notes until they can find the answer. If it's something like writing a free response and there's no correct answer I check for grammar and in the older grades I will say something if the arguments seems weak in a part of the answer, like maybe you should look for more evidence to support this part.

Then I talked to a friend and she said that what I was doing was wrong because teachers want to see what mistakes the student made and that correcting the homework is dishonest. I'm not sure how that is the case, because I never just do it for them but only help them one step at a time like when you would go to a teacher for help after school and they would walk you through a problem. But still, I think it is important to ask if I am doing the right thing.

For me I think it comes down to what is the purpose of homework.

If homework is meant for practicing concepts and skills I think my method makes sense. You would not want to practice getting the wrong answers, just like you would not want to practice playing a piano piece incorrectly. If you get something wrong in practice, I think stopping to redo it until it's right is the best idea. If practice makes perfect then I want to make sure my kids are practicing correctly.

If homework is just another category of assignment like the ones they do in class, but extra, I think our method still makes sense because I want my kids to take pride in their work and only turn in something that is the best they could possibly make it. Before they put their name on something, if they have the time and resources to do so I think they should make sure it is free from mistakes. In class they are working quickly and don't have another person to glance over their work, but at home they have much more time and a second set of eyes. I remember even in university we would form study groups to check over our homework together to find and fix the wrong answers, sometimes this was even a part of the recitation class. Does the same principle apply to kids homework in school?

Or is homework meant to be a diagnostic, sort of like a pretest, where they are expected to show what they can do or what they are still stuck on, not necessarily to show correct answers? That doesn't make much sense to me since the homework is assigned after they have been taught how to do the work so I would think they should be expected to get it correct, but this seems like what my friend was saying homework should be.

I know homework isn't meant to be exactly like a test where they have only one try and no reference materials or assistance allowed, because they are allowed to look at their textbook or their notes, or sometimes there is a sample problem at the top of the worksheet or on the teacher's website.

What is your philosophy of what homework is for, and how does that impact your choice of how to help your child with homework?