Anonymous
Post 01/19/2015 22:08     Subject: Re:If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced.
Would it have made a difference if it were your own parents arriving unannounced?

It is interesting that one sees all these gripes about interfering, inconsiderate in-laws and rarely about the parents. I guess all the parents are wonderful non-interfering and considerate people!
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2015 22:02     Subject: If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced.
I think it's your husband's job to chastise them.

What is wrong with them??? Couldn't they call on the way ? That's such bizarre behavior. I would literally die.

My MIL lives 15 minutes away and still manages to call first.
Sorry. This is my worst nightmare. Good luck.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2015 21:55     Subject: Re:If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced.
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Here is the kicker. His mom said thanks for letting us invite ourselves. Then I said nothing and just smiled. And she said don't smerk I know you don't like it. And I just smiled again. What am I supposed to say? My DH and older son go to work and school so I what have to entertain them? I have no real plans but now i feel like being gone but my 2.5 year old needs to nap. They were just here for 4 nights in December and my parents were here two weeks ago. I wasn't planning on having anyone here for a few months!


You should say something. Like "Mary, last night when you thanked us for letting you invite yourselves and I wanted to let you know that although it's wonderful to see you and JimBob, we would really love advance notice. Plus, I would feel terrible if you showed up only to find out we were out of town for the weekend or entertaining other guests and didn't have a spare room for you two, etc. So going forward, would you let us know when you'd like to visit, so we can agree on the dates beforehand?"
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2015 21:51     Subject: Re:If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced.
OP here. Here is the kicker. His mom said thanks for letting us invite ourselves. Then I said nothing and just smiled. And she said don't smerk I know you don't like it. And I just smiled again. What am I supposed to say? My DH and older son go to work and school so I what have to entertain them? I have no real plans but now i feel like being gone but my 2.5 year old needs to nap. They were just here for 4 nights in December and my parents were here two weeks ago. I wasn't planning on having anyone here for a few months!
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2015 21:18     Subject: If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced.
They would NEVER. But if they did, I'd make sure DH and I presented a united front and say we're happy to fold them into our routine but unfortunately since we didn't know they were coming, we already have plans. They're welcome to come watch DD at soccer and DS at swim though.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2015 21:14     Subject: If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced.
Mine has done that twice. Th second time, we had a house full of other out-of-town people.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2015 21:12     Subject: If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced.
I always have a slight fear of my ILs doing this. I would make my husband talk to them about it because I wouldn't want it happening again. If they get away with it once, they will expect they can do it all of the time.
I also would continue my schedule and days as planned as much as possible because I would want them to understand how disruptive their unannounced visit was. If I dropped everything, cooked full meals and catered to them as guests who actually made proper plans to visit, it shows them it is no big deal and they can do it again.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2015 20:54     Subject: If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced.
Mine did this once and I was livid. My husband spoke to them about it.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2015 20:46     Subject: If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced.
I would have your husband tell them that unplanned visits aren't aceptable anymore. And then stand behind that if this happens again.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2015 20:31     Subject: Re:If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced.
OP here. They aren't from another country. They are actually conservatives that always mention other people's ethnicitys.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2015 20:23     Subject: If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced.
Are they from different country/culture?
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2015 20:22     Subject: If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced.
I'd deal.

I'd maintain my schedule as much as possible, but allow some flexibility for the kids.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2015 20:21     Subject: If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced.
I'd probably pass out. Unacceptable.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2015 20:19     Subject: If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced.
Get your husband to talk to them or speak together as a united front.
Anonymous
Post 01/19/2015 20:08     Subject: If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced.
If your mother and father in-law came over from out of state unannounced. How would you react? Would you drop all of your plans???

I'm kind of pissed!!!! They just got her at 7pm, right before my kids bedtimes!!! Now they are saying that that might be staying for two nights!! I feel like saying something to them. They were just here in December.