Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Faux.

What would I get out of making this up?

Attention.

If it is real, tell them "No, the decision has been made". Wash, rinse, repeat.

No. Don't let them hold onto hope that you might say yes.

Sounds kind of ridiculous. You set a boundary and she doesn't like it. She needs to respect your boundary. The fact that she's making a fuss means your boundary is working, which is good.

I think that most people's likely answer to that question would have been no. She should have been expecting it. The bratty drama fit is out of line and uncalled for.

Anonymous wrote:I could see their point if it was the woman's brother - like if you use one woman's egg and the other woman's brothers sperm. But he isn't even blood related, is he?

OP's kids with DH would be blood related to the sister's baby.

Anonymous wrote:I could see their point if it was the woman's brother - like if you use one woman's egg and the other woman's brothers sperm. But he isn't even blood related, is he?

Not OP, but yeah that's a good point. I guess she's mainly hung up on the "known" part and less on the biology factor -- which should make things easier.

I could see their point if it was the woman's brother - like if you use one woman's egg and the other woman's brothers sperm. But he isn't even blood related, is he?

OP - Your sister's baby will be the sister and cousin of your kids.

I would not agree as it is ill be very uncomfortable and if they seperate your husband could be on the hook for child support as he is biologically dad.

Wow, what a crazy situation! Sorry you're having to deal with this, OP. I'm in a same-sex marriage and my wife and I found ourselves in a slightly similar situation years ago (albeit not as crazy, admittedly). We had a known donor but were having lots of trouble getting pregnant. We knew one other person who could fit the bill, a close friend of mine, and in retrospect, definitely too close, but he was uneasy about the prospect and ultimately said no. We definitely didn't try to persuade him to change his mind or anything, but for personal reasons, we knew we weren't comfortable with the sperm bank scenario. We then heard about the "Known Donor Registry" which, while it sounds crazy, has proven to be successful for many women who go about it the right way and have all their legal paperwork in order. It definitely comes with its share of weirdness but it's another option. Ultimately we did IVF with our first donor and all turned out well but we spent a fair amount of time on this site beforehand (and even met with someone). Good luck!

OP, they will most likely just need time to process this and move in a different direction.
In the mean time you can offer your love and support, while asking they continue to respect your decision.
So sorry this is happening to you

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Faux.

What would I get out of making this up?

Attention.

If it is real, tell them "No, the decision has been made". Wash, rinse, repeat.

Okay, lesbian with children by a sperm donor here. They are crazy and out of line. All parties have to be 100% on board in order for a known-donor situation to work.

Give them links to sperm banks. Attempting to pressure you into this is unethical and frankly, insane.

If you want to solve things The Lesbian Way, do a group session with a counselor with experience in reproductive stuff. I'm not kidding, my people love that shit. The counselor will explain that they are on a road to nowhere.

Anonymous wrote:Faux.

What would I get out of making this up?

Faux.

My sister and her lovely wife have been married about three months and are in their early thirties. They've always wanted children, and throughout their relationship have laughed about future sperm donors, who will carry the babies, etc. I was as excited as anyone when they announced my SIL would start trying to get pregnant this year-and then she asked my husband to be the sperm donor. She said she wanted it to be someone she knew, someone she already loved, someone her child could know, etcetera. My immediate reaction was a resolute no, and so was DH's. And now my SIL is calling us daily sobbing and saying she can't imagine having the father of her baby be some stranger (why she can't find another acquaintance, I don't know) and that she might never have children anyway now since she's too freaked out to have anyone else's sperm. I have no idea what's gotten into her, I've tried approaching it with my sister but she always sides with her wife (but she's less crazy, she'll just say she thinks we should think harder about our decision.) Any ideas on how to stop this? I can't stop communicating with my sister and her wife, who I love, but this can't go on. It's ridiculous.