It's pissing you off daily? Have you bothered explaining what you would like in words in a decent manner to her?

Stop freakin' expecting people to read your mind.

Anonymous wrote:We live in an apartment building where you have to access the mailbox with code and key and every day I check it on my way in and find it empty. Everyday I walk inside and she has gotten it. she just moved in with us, and has her own po box so none of her mail is coming to our address ever. I don't know why this bugs me so much but she throws away mail before I can see it. Magazines and such that she says are junk mil. What should I do? Its literally pissing me off daily. There is no reason for her to run to our mailbox and grab it before we get a chance to look at it.

Seriously, you're asking for advice on what to do? Be an adult. You can wonder why she is doing until the cow come home, but it won't solve your problem. Politely and respectfully ask her to stop getting the mail. It's concerning that you're letting this continue, getting mad and then not seeing the obvious solution. Stop making this a big deal and just talk to her.

Anonymous wrote:
She's
Controlling
Trying to be helpful
Bored.

So... suggest occupations, otherwise she'll be "reorganizing" your closets and cupboards.

np here. this is my mil. PRECISELY.

i feel badly b/c my dh and his sibs have to constantly, constantly think of projects for her to keep her busy and out of their hair.

she actually does rearrange closets and cabinets.

Sorry for not explaining better, the key and code also access our building door and apartment so she has both to get in and out, can't really take either away from her. I am sure she thinks its helpful but sometimes she will watch me come in and go back down and then wait for me to come all the way back up to tell me she already got the mail. Its just frustrating me. I pay money for my magazines and she's thrown them away twice now. I have no idea what else is being tossed. I also don't like the idea of her going through the mail with bills and personal stuff. Just adjusting I guess. I would love a MIL who cleaned and organized. Would be helpful. this one just seems to go through everything.

Anonymous wrote:"Madge, I noticed that you've been going and getting our mail. I need you to stop. I need to be the one to go through the mail and decide what to do with. I appreciate your intention to be helpful, but this is something I need to take care of. Thanks."

+1

If she's not getting her mail there, why does she have the code and the key? Sounds like she was a little bit set up here.

Anonymous wrote:Have your DH tell his mother that she needs to leave the mailbox alone.

Oh, absolutely, her DH should be the one handling this stuff.

And op if this is the stuff that upsets you, start looking for alternative living arrangements for MIL now.

Anonymous wrote:Have your DH tell his mother that she needs to leave the mailbox alone.

+1 I had a live in nanny who did the same thing and she also had a OP box. Drove me crazy. Have your DH do the dirty work.

Anonymous wrote:"Madge, I noticed that you've been going and getting our mail. I need you to stop. I need to be the one to go through the mail and decide what to do with. I appreciate your intention to be helpful, but this is something I need to take care of. Thanks."

+1

Have your DH tell his mother that she needs to leave the mailbox alone.

She's
Controlling
Trying to be helpful
Bored.

So... suggest occupations, otherwise she'll be "reorganizing" your closets and cupboards.

Ask her to please not throw away any mail, even if it's clearly junk, because you would like to look at it all first. If she keeps doing it, take the key away from her. It can live on your key chain.

"Madge, I noticed that you've been going and getting our mail. I need you to stop. I need to be the one to go through the mail and decide what to do with. I appreciate your intention to be helpful, but this is something I need to take care of. Thanks."

Tell her that she can check it but to please not throw any mail away until you've seen it. That is kind of annoying. What if she tosses something important on accident?

We live in an apartment building where you have to access the mailbox with code and key and every day I check it on my way in and find it empty. Everyday I walk inside and she has gotten it. she just moved in with us, and has her own po box so none of her mail is coming to our address ever. I don't know why this bugs me so much but she throws away mail before I can see it. Magazines and such that she says are junk mil. What should I do? Its literally pissing me off daily. There is no reason for her to run to our mailbox and grab it before we get a chance to look at it.