Anonymous wrote:It depends on the kids' personalities to some degree, but in my experience, yes. Same sex siblings fight more than opposite sex.

I think it also depends quite a bit on the older child's personality. If they're easy going and tolerant by nature, it will set a more calm tone.

I've also noticed that the older sister / younger brother combination seems to be the least contentious. The kids may not always be close, but they are far less likely to beat the crap out of each other.

As for parenting, I don't think that has as much of an impact as people sometimes think. Sure, parents who pit their kids against each other or foster unhealthy competition stack the odds against themselves and create problems. But most of the time it comes down to the kids' chemistry. Just like any other two people who are forced to spend a ton of time together -- some get along well, some do not.

Everything in your post is purely anecdotal. My sister was the oldest and she fought like hell with my brother. They had vicious battles. The boy/girl siblings across the street from us are similar.

It's kid dependent. Entirely.

Anonymous wrote:My boys, now 7 and 5, are very close and get along wonderfully. They had the option to have separate rooms and want to stay together. Both are very sweet and protective of their baby sister who is 3 and as bossy as they come!

Luck of the draw, I guess.

My boys are still sharing a room at 10 and 8. They love it.

My boys, now 7 and 5, are very close and get along wonderfully. They had the option to have separate rooms and want to stay together. Both are very sweet and protective of their baby sister who is 3 and as bossy as they come!

Luck of the draw, I guess.

It depends on the kids' personalities to some degree, but in my experience, yes. Same sex siblings fight more than opposite sex.

I think it also depends quite a bit on the older child's personality. If they're easy going and tolerant by nature, it will set a more calm tone.

I've also noticed that the older sister / younger brother combination seems to be the least contentious. The kids may not always be close, but they are far less likely to beat the crap out of each other.

As for parenting, I don't think that has as much of an impact as people sometimes think. Sure, parents who pit their kids against each other or foster unhealthy competition stack the odds against themselves and create problems. But most of the time it comes down to the kids' chemistry. Just like any other two people who are forced to spend a ton of time together -- some get along well, some do not.

Anonymous wrote:My two boys have always gotten along really well. They are each other's best friends. There is a 2.5 year age gap. Neighbors, strangers and friends always comment on how well they get along. I think sometimes it just has to do with personality/chemistry that you can't predict.

The little one is more trying. The older one is so calm and easy-going. I think having the bigger one be the roll-off the back type helps their dynamic.
They are now 6.5 and 9.

I think it is luck of the draw. This describes my two kids as well, less than two years apart, older boy, younger girl. Almost 5 and almost 3. People always ask me what I do to make them get along so well and I have to say, it has nothing to do with parenting. At least in our case.

Anonymous wrote:Bad behavior comes from bad parenting. You aren't doing yourself or your children any favors by trying to pass the blame to genetics, luck, gender, or anything else.

Well that was incredibly helpful. Thank you for sharing your great parenting wisdom.

Siblings fighting is not always the result of bad parenting PP. We have two boys, and the older one has always been a challenging baby/child. He has always had a short fuse and a very low frustration tolerance. We worked with him since he was a toddler on using his words and finding strategies to help regulate his emotions. Our younger one is very mellow loving and gets along great with everyone. We are the same parents to both, and I think were good parents, it's just some children have more difficulty interacting with others in relationships – especially close ones where rivalry, jealousy, and other difficult feelings can be involved. I don't think it's fair to say that sibling rivalry or "bad behavior" is the result of bad parenting. There are just some kids who test limits more. Sure there are some parents out there who probably don't do good things for their kids, but you can't always judge the parents by the kids or vice a versa.

Anonymous wrote:My two boys have always gotten along really well. They are each other's best friends. There is a 2.5 year age gap. Neighbors, strangers and friends always comment on how well they get along. I think sometimes it just has to do with personality/chemistry that you can't predict.

The little one is more trying. The older one is so calm and easy-going. I think having the bigger one be the roll-off the back type helps their dynamic.

They are now 6.5 and 9.

Our boy neighbor lives at our house because he is always fighting with his younger sister (they have same age gap).

My older brother and sister fought like cats and dogs growing up--so it is not gender-specific.

My two boys have always gotten along really well. They are each other's best friends. There is a 2.5 year age gap. Neighbors, strangers and friends always comment on how well they get along. I think sometimes it just has to do with personality/chemistry that you can't predict.

The little one is more trying. The older one is so calm and easy-going. I think having the bigger one be the roll-off the back type helps their dynamic.

They are now 6.5 and 9.

By boys and girls all fight equally with each other. They are all very close and play with the same things (cars, dollhouses, Wii, whatever the sibling wants to have, they want) and they fight a ton. I figure someday they won't fight as much because they'll just go into their rooms and shut the door.

Bad behavior comes from bad parenting. You aren't doing yourself or your children any favors by trying to pass the blame to genetics, luck, gender, or anything else.

My experience has been that they're likely to fight more AND likely to be closer (not mutually exclusive). They're more likely to have similar interests, which leads to them interacting more, which leads both to closeness and to arguments.

My two years apart boys fight hard and love hard. I don't have anything to compare it to, but the fact they like the same exact things is the problem. Same cars, trucks, etc. Same gender probably increases the likelihood of liking the same things, but personality dictates how they handle that.

I think it's more personality than gender. I have 3 and 5 year old boys who get along great and have from day one. I consider myself really really lucky and don't really take any credit for it. Both are easy going kids, and the older one was really sweet to his brother from the start, which set a great tone (not sure how it would have gone the other way around!). Of course, they do have minor squabbles, but they mostly resolve those themselves. Our bigger problem is that they are partners in crime and silliness, and constantly getting in trouble together.

Do you think same sex sibling fight more? My little guys age 2 + 5 seem to always be at it about something. Usually the older one trying to take, grab, or tease the little one. Makes me crazy.