Anonymous wrote:OP -thanks for the fast responses!

I throttled it back in my post. DH is not really supportive of me going, he'll be shouldering most of the child care burden while I'm doing my business travel, and adding in another full weekend just for him is not what he wants to do.

He is also a groomsman in the wedding, and is skipping the destination bachelor party because of distance, expense, and not really knowing the groom.

Should I risk really pissing off my DH to go?

Why don't people do these things close by? I guess I'm also not supportive of the whole destination thing. If I didn't have a kid, I'd feel more inclined to go, but I'm really torn here.

She's having a destination wedding as well? Then you can skip this. No wedding requires two round trip tickets for one person. Tell her it's not in your budget.

Anonymous wrote:OP -thanks for the fast responses!

I throttled it back in my post. DH is not really supportive of me going, he'll be shouldering most of the child care burden while I'm doing my business travel, and adding in another full weekend just for him is not what he wants to do.

He is also a groomsman in the wedding, and is skipping the destination bachelor party because of distance, expense, and not really knowing the groom.

Should I risk really pissing off my DH to go?

Why don't people do these things close by? I guess I'm also not supportive of the whole destination thing. If I didn't have a kid, I'd feel more inclined to go, but I'm really torn here.

Do you actually want to go?

I think it's fine to skip. Be honest with your SIL that your business travel responsibilities have been a bit much lately and that you need to be home. Then send something nice to their hotel room or catch up with her some other way. Having kids means skipping things like this.

Skip it. Is she having a bridal shower? If so, plan to attend and possibly co-host the shower.

OP, will there be other opportunities in the next several months where you can get to know your future SIL/BIL better than you do now?

I skipped my now-SIL's bachelorette party under almost the identical circumstances and there wasn't a problem. Truth be told, it would have been awkward to be the odd (wo)man out when 8 other women had all been her friends since high school or college days or even before. I would have been the different vibe and the cause of awkwardness as I'd have to be filled in on all the inside jokes or private discussions, etc when I wasn't really a confidante at that time.

It was the right choice. SIL and I are now friends, but I don't regret not going.

Why don't you just tell her - hey SIL, I really want to help you celebrate your wedding, but childcare, etc. make getting away for a weekend really difficult. Could we find a time for me to (take you to a spa, go to tea, get dinner, etc) a different weekend?

OP -thanks for the fast responses!

I throttled it back in my post. DH is not really supportive of me going, he'll be shouldering most of the child care burden while I'm doing my business travel, and adding in another full weekend just for him is not what he wants to do.

He is also a groomsman in the wedding, and is skipping the destination bachelor party because of distance, expense, and not really knowing the groom.

Should I risk really pissing off my DH to go?

Why don't people do these things close by? I guess I'm also not supportive of the whole destination thing. If I didn't have a kid, I'd feel more inclined to go, but I'm really torn here.

I think you should go. It's a good way to start building memories and it will make you more of the bridal party.

If you want to go but cut it short, drive Friday, come back Saturday night. Six hours isn't that bad. OR say you can't miss work, drive up Friday night and come back as scheduled on Sunday. You don't have to go the whole time, and drinking isn't required either.

I think you can skip it. If it was closer, you would need to show up but with the travel, child, costs, etc. I think you are fine to skip it.

Why not go for one night instead of 2? I think it's absurd to expect that someone with parenting responsibilities as well as a job attend a full weekend bachelorette party. If it were your best friend in the world and you wanted to be there, fine. But it can't be an obligation.

No way. Skip. Send them some nice champagne and tell her how much you will miss it.

Go. It doesn't sound like that much of a hassle and it is the right thing to do.

Because you are a bridesmaid, you should go. That is usually the way that it works. I would probably go, even though I understand the reasons you are hesitant and would probably feel the same way. I have been a bridesmaid a few times, but nixed a bachelorette party only once, and regretted it just because it wasn't supportive on my part.

I'm a bridesmaid in her upcoming wedding. Only asked to be in wedding because of family connection, while she is very sweet and I like her, we are very different and I don't really know her that well.

Bachelorette party would be a great way to get to know her more, BUT - it's a full weekend affair, a six-hour drive away (or four hours total to get to airport, wait for flight, fly, get to locale from airport for about $400). I'd have to take the Friday off work and not get back home until the Sunday evening. There's no way to cut it down and only go for a day, not worth the travel time hassle (and not worth not drinking so I could drive back early!).

I work full time, and will be away from home traveling for work a bit in the weeks near this party. Plus I don't ever get to spend as much time as I'd like with my 2-y.o. DS (who would stay with my fully capable but probably a little miffed DH if I went).

I don't really know anyone else going to the party, I've met a few of the other ladies but that's about it. Just one of the others has kids. If it was closer I'd totally be there (okay, I'd still probably only go for part of it).

Would you skip it? Would you go? Thanks!