Anonymous wrote:My little brother who has been married for 7 years and has no children is planning on separating from his wife. We are not super close but would you be upset if you head from the grapevine that your brother was going to get a divorce and he hasnt mentioned anything to you?

Maybe he feels it is none of your business and he is right.

Do you & your brother chat regularly about what's going on in your life? If not, how would this have come up? He would have had to call you specifically to tell you he's separating. That probably wasn't very high on his to-do list, understandably so. He has other things to deal with right now.

Anonymous wrote:It's not something people tend to shout from the rooftops. I know several people who kept their divorce news to themselves for as long as possible, not even telling their closest friends. I think that sometimes there is a level of embarrassment and shame felt when one realizes the marriage is going to end.

This. Divorce is humiliating. I told as few people as possible.

Anonymous wrote:Probably not his priority right now.

This. My brother and I are close but he did not inform me until he left. I didn't think anything of it since I know he was having a difficult time.

It really has nothing to do with you especially since you are not close.

Don't make this about you. It's probably a really difficult time. Just be available and check in on him.

It's not something people tend to shout from the rooftops. I know several people who kept their divorce news to themselves for as long as possible, not even telling their closest friends. I think that sometimes there is a level of embarrassment and shame felt when one realizes the marriage is going to end.

I didn't realize that your brother's divorce is all about you. I'm sure he's losing sleep at night thinking about how he'll break the news to you.

Jeez, if you had any class you'd write him a note, letting him know that you are there for him and thinking about him during what must be a difficult time in his life.

Get over yourself.

"is planning on" "not super close"
How about waiting for things to happen before you get upset about not being told. Because you know something, it might not even happen.

Wow, PPs projecting! I think I would be hurt, esp. if you do talk often. But it's a very hard subject to broach. When my X-husband's sister was getting divorced she told me not him. I relayed to him.

Probably not his priority right now.

No, he has his reasons. Let him be in what must be a difficult time in his life. Be at peace.

No. That's normal if you aren't that close. It's just entertaining gossip to you.

OP - Perhaps your brother doesn't want you to stick his nose in is business.

DH's friend didn't tell his sister he was planning to divorce because she is a blabbermouth and spreads incorrect information.

He told DH, who told me. She got mad at me when she found out we knew about the divorce before she did.

Whatever!

My little brother who has been married for 7 years and has no children is planning on separating from his wife. We are not super close but would you be upset if you head from the grapevine that your brother was going to get a divorce and he hasnt mentioned anything to you?