Anonymous
01/10/2015 21:44
Subject: sick person came over uninvited and I have a newborn
You are a high maintenance friend.
Anonymous
01/10/2015 21:40
Subject: sick person came over uninvited and I have a newborn
Really we're parsing words here? More like asked for help rather than invited. But yes that's why I let it slide in the first place was because I was happy to have the extra help.
If this was any other type of gathering in my home would it make a difference as to coming uninvited?
If this was any other type of gathering in my home would it make a difference as to coming uninvited?
Anonymous
01/10/2015 21:39
Subject: sick person came over uninvited and I have a newborn
OP, you say that this person told you, an hour into the visit, that she had a cold. it sound to me that she was not really sick, but had a normal, run of the mill winter cold since 1) you did not notice it for over an hour; 2) she had to tell you about it, and you would have not noticed otherwise. if she came to your home with a fever or actively coughing and sneezing it would be another story, but it does not appear to be the case. this is winter, and people do have cold. if you are so concerned about your child, you should not have invited them, especially for something so silly as "helping put away the Christmas tree and decorations" (I put our decoration in a box in about 10 minute and my DH put the tree out in less than one minute, certainly we did not need any external help). my January born second child came home to a toddler sister who loved to touch her and was coming home every day from Germ Central (her day care). I don't think it is going to be a problem, if you are concerned, don't invite people over the first couple of months. as for seeing your friend alone, next time tell her directly, but gently, that you would like to see her to have a special time together, just you and her. congrats for the new baby
Anonymous
01/10/2015 21:38
Subject: sick person came over uninvited and I have a newborn
+a Million
Wow
Wow
Anonymous
01/10/2015 21:16
Subject: sick person came over uninvited and I have a newborn
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You invited people over to take down your Christmas tree?
Yes, this. You are offended that you invited a friend over to take down your decorations, and you are offended that she brought a friend along?
+3
+100 - LOL!
Anonymous
01/10/2015 21:12
Subject: sick person came over uninvited and I have a newborn
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:You invited people over to take down your Christmas tree?
Yes, this. You are offended that you invited a friend over to take down your decorations, and you are offended that she brought a friend along?
+3
Anonymous
01/10/2015 21:11
Subject: sick person came over uninvited and I have a newborn
You are over completely overreacting to #1 and #2. How is taking down someone else's Christmas decorations a formal event. Your friend could have texted you to ask permission but oh well, she didn't. And why would her friend turn down an invite (although I would never tag along to take down someone else's decorations). It's definitely possible that your friend didn't realize her friend was getting over a cold.
You sound very uptight OP. Maybe a friendship with this person is not in the cards for you.
You sound very uptight OP. Maybe a friendship with this person is not in the cards for you.
Anonymous
01/10/2015 21:02
Subject: sick person came over uninvited and I have a newborn
Anonymous wrote:You invited people over to take down your Christmas tree?
Yes, this. You are offended that you invited a friend over to take down your decorations, and you are offended that she brought a friend along?
Anonymous
01/10/2015 20:59
Subject: Re:sick person came over uninvited and I have a newborn
There's probably not much you can say without offending her since she seems to be the type of friend who likes to bring her own friends with her.
Anonymous
01/10/2015 20:59
Subject: sick person came over uninvited and I have a newborn
You invited people over to take down your Christmas tree?
Anonymous
01/10/2015 20:58
Subject: sick person came over uninvited and I have a newborn
Op something similar happened with me. She had laryngitis and wAs coughing/sneezing. Neither ds or I got sick
Anonymous
01/10/2015 20:58
Subject: sick person came over uninvited and I have a newborn
They were rude to bring a sick person into the house but let it go.
Anonymous
01/10/2015 20:56
Subject: sick person came over uninvited and I have a newborn
While I understand your angst, it is really ok. You might have 2 older school aged kids in your house if you had older children. You might get sick yourself. Is she the only single person and possibly feels like a 3rd wheel?
Anonymous
01/10/2015 20:54
Subject: sick person came over uninvited and I have a newborn
Anonymous wrote:This is more of a friendship dilemma but this forum seems to be the best one given the situation.
I have a newborn baby. DH and I invited a very small handful of close friends via email over to help us clean up our Christmas tree and decorations. None of these friends have kids and some are single.One friend replied that she would come, and today she showed up with one of her friends (who I know but more as an acquaintance). I didn't invite the acquaintance and my friend didn't ask if the acquaintance could.come along. I was not happy this happened but let it slide.
About an hour in, I'm sitting on the couch feeding my baby a bottle when the acquaintance sits down next to me and says she wishes she could hold the baby but she won't because she has a cold. I immediately got up and said I wanted to see if the baby would take a nap, but really I wanted to remove him from her presence. She followed me to the nursery saying that she wanted to see it, and then I said I didn't want her around the baby since she had a cold. She left and didn't say anything. 10 minutes later my friend came into the room and said they had to get going but was happy to see me etc. Acquaintance didn't come back in (good) but she also didn't apologize for anything.
So I need to address 3 things:
1) My friend who thinks it's ok to bring people to my house even though they weren't invited. The writing on my email didn't say people could invite others. I didn't think I needed to say NOT to invite others because I though it was a given, silly me.
2) The girl who tagged along. If you're not invited somewhere, then don't go, even if someone who was invited tells you it's ok to come.
3) Not only was she not invited, but she brought gems into my house
I really like my friend and want to keep our friendship but it drives me crazy that almost every other time I invite her to do something, she brings one or two or sometimes three other people along, but I'm not sure how to address it. I don't really care for the acquaintance so I'm not too worried about offending her, especially after this happened I am livid. Im not sure what I should say to my friend or if I should do it over email, phone, or in person; but I need to say something otherwise her actions could continue to damage our friendship
Sry for typos.
Worry about your newborn and not this $hit.
Anonymous
01/10/2015 20:48
Subject: sick person came over uninvited and I have a newborn
This is more of a friendship dilemma but this forum seems to be the best one given the situation.
I have a newborn baby. DH and I invited a very small handful of close friends via email over to help us clean up our Christmas tree and decorations. None of these friends have kids and some are single.One friend replied that she would come, and today she showed up with one of her friends (who I know but more as an acquaintance). I didn't invite the acquaintance and my friend didn't ask if the acquaintance could.come along. I was not happy this happened but let it slide.
About an hour in, I'm sitting on the couch feeding my baby a bottle when the acquaintance sits down next to me and says she wishes she could hold the baby but she won't because she has a cold. I immediately got up and said I wanted to see if the baby would take a nap, but really I wanted to remove him from her presence. She followed me to the nursery saying that she wanted to see it, and then I said I didn't want her around the baby since she had a cold. She left and didn't say anything. 10 minutes later my friend came into the room and said they had to get going but was happy to see me etc. Acquaintance didn't come back in (good) but she also didn't apologize for anything.
So I need to address 3 things:
1) My friend who thinks it's ok to bring people to my house even though they weren't invited. The writing on my email didn't say people could invite others. I didn't think I needed to say NOT to invite others because I though it was a given, silly me.
2) The girl who tagged along. If you're not invited somewhere, then don't go, even if someone who was invited tells you it's ok to come.
3) Not only was she not invited, but she brought gems into my house
I really like my friend and want to keep our friendship but it drives me crazy that almost every other time I invite her to do something, she brings one or two or sometimes three other people along, but I'm not sure how to address it. I don't really care for the acquaintance so I'm not too worried about offending her, especially after this happened I am livid. Im not sure what I should say to my friend or if I should do it over email, phone, or in person; but I need to say something otherwise her actions could continue to damage our friendship
Sry for typos.
I have a newborn baby. DH and I invited a very small handful of close friends via email over to help us clean up our Christmas tree and decorations. None of these friends have kids and some are single.One friend replied that she would come, and today she showed up with one of her friends (who I know but more as an acquaintance). I didn't invite the acquaintance and my friend didn't ask if the acquaintance could.come along. I was not happy this happened but let it slide.
About an hour in, I'm sitting on the couch feeding my baby a bottle when the acquaintance sits down next to me and says she wishes she could hold the baby but she won't because she has a cold. I immediately got up and said I wanted to see if the baby would take a nap, but really I wanted to remove him from her presence. She followed me to the nursery saying that she wanted to see it, and then I said I didn't want her around the baby since she had a cold. She left and didn't say anything. 10 minutes later my friend came into the room and said they had to get going but was happy to see me etc. Acquaintance didn't come back in (good) but she also didn't apologize for anything.
So I need to address 3 things:
1) My friend who thinks it's ok to bring people to my house even though they weren't invited. The writing on my email didn't say people could invite others. I didn't think I needed to say NOT to invite others because I though it was a given, silly me.
2) The girl who tagged along. If you're not invited somewhere, then don't go, even if someone who was invited tells you it's ok to come.
3) Not only was she not invited, but she brought gems into my house
I really like my friend and want to keep our friendship but it drives me crazy that almost every other time I invite her to do something, she brings one or two or sometimes three other people along, but I'm not sure how to address it. I don't really care for the acquaintance so I'm not too worried about offending her, especially after this happened I am livid. Im not sure what I should say to my friend or if I should do it over email, phone, or in person; but I need to say something otherwise her actions could continue to damage our friendship
Sry for typos.