I would make it clear that you prefer not to discuss this matter further, he may be trying to bring you down with him.

Anonymous wrote:For the younger, indiscreet coworker - I would consider suggesting to her that she be more discreet.

I had a coworker once that complained a lot and I shared an office with her. After a while, it really started to bring me down (emotionally - because she was just so negative). I had to create some distance between us - mostly by not engaging in her negative conversations.

I had the same thing, shared an office with a co-worker who hated the job and hated her life. It was a real drag. I wanted to ask to be moved but knew it would cause office gossip and drama. I would constantly try and bring up the positive but she wasn't interested. But op since you will be leadership soon maybe you can take some of her complaints into consideration for improvements to make.

For the younger, indiscreet coworker - I would consider suggesting to her that she be more discreet.

I had a coworker once that complained a lot and I shared an office with her. After a while, it really started to bring me down (emotionally - because she was just so negative). I had to create some distance between us - mostly by not engaging in her negative conversations.

I think leadership should value and even seek out these venting sessions. If I were a leader, I would do my best to get my ear to the ground to take advantage of this information. Consider yourself privileged that people feel comfortable confiding their concerns to you! And don't distance yourself from the workforce when you advance. You'd be doing your company an enormous disservice.

In my office, leadership is always shocked by the workplace surveys that say we think leadership is doing a crummy job. Maybe they should try talking to us and asking us how things are going! Grabbing coffee with us would a good start. My leadership has only recently noticed that they lack this type of fundamental engagement, and they're scrambling to catch up.

So don't stop what you're doing. And keep up these informal conversations if you do get promoted. If you can successfully rely the legitimate concerns of employees and do something to fix them, you will improve the working environment, and your employee's work will reflect that making you look like a great leader.

Yawn

Discreet-- cautious and careful with words or actions

Discrete-- distinct, individual, disconnected

Don't worry. You'll still get your promotion.

^^ Good advice, thanks. I do try to change the subject with the coffee friend, but it would be super awkward to ditch the coworker mid-way through the coffee line. I'll just keep trying to change the subject, I guess.

13:07 - I'm sure I'm annoying to a number of people in this world, including you & my mother just to name a few, but I don't seem to annoy or deter the people who are confiding, somewhat inappropriately, in me and thus why I'm writing.

Good grief clearly your coworker is not as happy as you. It happens. I had a former coworker who did the same. I was very happy in the position, and she was not. She wasn't qualified and REALLY in over her head. I tried to get her up to speed but truth be told she didn't have the mind set for the work. She quit shortly after. Our boss (and bosses boss) saw us talking on numerous occasions and if it were brought up I would've told the truth, that I am very happy where I am, but I think that comes across in the day to day work anyways, so it was never an issue. I don't know of any point it was an issue. I think being social is a good quality in management.

I think all you can do is cut those conversations short and not participate. If you can't get away, then don't respond to those remarks and immediately change the subject. People will take the hint eventually. Don't tell anyone you may get a promotion.

"Quit your bitching or do something about it." Repeat as needed.

when you get promoted you wont hear the vents

You sound annoying

A couple of my coworkers do this, though one is more discrete than the other, and it makes me uncomfortable. One of them is very overt about her dissatisfaction with the job - talks about it loudly in cube space, not far from our boss' office, throws complaints about our boss into otherwise work related emails. She's applied for other jobs and is very clear about that to anyone who's friendly enough to make small talk. I otherwise like this person, but I worry that if others overhear her talking to me about her dissatisfaction, it will appear as if I was participating in office gossip and complaining. I get the sense that I'm next in line for a promotion, so I'll be leadership soon and I don't think it's appropriate for me to be the audience for these kinds of vents. I also think it's hurting her career - our boss has expressed a desire to help her get to the next level in her career. Should I give some friendly advice that maybe find an outlet for work vents outside of work and don't put anything in an email you wouldn't want forwarded around? Try to appreciate this as a learning exercise and to the extent that any of our boss's connections could help you find what you want to do next, try to stay on good terms - don't ruin your relationship by gossiping. She's young and I think some of these are rookie mistakes.

The other coworker is a bit more discrete, just venting during coffee breaks when we're away from our desks. She doesn't know I'm likely to be promoted and probably wouldn't be sharing these things with me if she knew, but I don't know how to give her a headsup without sounds like a jerk. Venting about having a lot on your plate, the slowness of approval processes, how difficult it is to build consensus - I get that. We all feel that. But complaining about specific people in our office just feels different - poisoning the well, as one of my friends says.