Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Google geriatric care management - a certified care manager could be helpful since you all are far away

+1

This person would walk and talk you through every available option and step as things progress, and will even meet with tire grandfather directly, which is simetimes easier. They are experts in resources, programs, facilities, family dynamics, etc.

Anonymous wrote:Google geriatric care management - a certified care manager could be helpful since you all are far away

+1

Google geriatric care management - a certified care manager could be helpful since you all are far away

The children (not grandchildren) should be in charge, will be in charge? They're just so freaked out right now that they're not thinking clearly. I'm trying to give my dad a to-do list to get him moving while he's at his dad's house. From there, a move is obviously preferable, but grandpa is fully functioning mentally, stubborn as a mule and very, very used to getting his way.

Financially, I don't know if there's any long term care insurance or anything. I do know that grandpa doesn't have a primary care doctor because he doesn't think that checkups are necessary... No one is tight on cash, but I know costs can escalate quickly in these situations.

Thanks for the help so far!
OP

I think first things first if grandpa has a son or daughter, then he or she needs to talk to him about his affairs to be sure he has a will, possibly a trust arrangement since he still owns a house and possibly other property, legal power of attorney and most importantly an advanced and detailed health care proxy. If there is no one and it has skipped a generation to you, then you need to do likewise, BUT again if there are other grandchildren, be sure "all" know that you are taking the lead in grandpa's affairs or there may be squabbling and hell to pay later on.

Also, no one can reallyt tell with Medicare nowadays when Grandpa might just be released from any rehab or nursing situation since Medicare keeps reviewing "progress" and when no more progress is judged happening, then it can stop paying and he would need to private pay. If grandpa has his "marbles" and will be insistent on returning home, then you or someone really needs to think clearly if this is realistic and if so, find a competent home health agency to work with him. BUT, you are correct it would be best for grandpa to be close to someone family member or at least if there is an opening in an assisted living center or other senor life care setting and he could afford it with selling his house - if unable to stay there safely - to consider doing so.

The hardest thing to understand for family "out of town" is that someone must assume responsibility for grandpa if he is released and unable to manage. Even in an assisted living housing, the person of record is called every time one falls, one goes to the ER or must also arrange every time a doctor visit is needed. Then imagine all the other tasks to be sure get done if grandpa is back in his own home alone -- unless in time he will be able to resume even a limited lifestyle with supports. So I guess the areas to consider are financial affairs, legal affairs and most directly right now medical care. It is not easy in most cases even if living in the same town, and if his finances are limited, then even more involved to find ways to get services.

Right. House set up to be empty.... Totally forgot that in my addled scrambling. Thank you!

He needs to give someone power of attorney so you can deal with his banking and bills. Then, whoever is going to be in control of this probably needs to fly out to grandpa, check on the house and make sure it's in suitable condition to be empty for a while (water turned off, heat turned down, refrigerator and trash emptied, etc.). You can also take the opportunity then to go through paperwork (assuming your grandfather is okay with this) and figure out what needs to get paid, and what his general financial/life circumstances are and what needs to be dealt with.

I could really use some advice from anyone who's handled this before. My grandfather had a fall and is headed to rehab for at least a couple months...

I'm trying to figure out what we need to do to keep things running smoothly while he's out of his home temporarily and possibly permanently and I'm worried I'm going to miss something because this is all new to me. Any lists or tips for resources?

So far I'm thinking I need to set up online banking, forward mail and figure out paying all his bills. What else do I need to set up? No one in the family lives near my grandfather. We obviously need to try to get him to move closer, but in the meantime I need all the help I can get trying to keep things under control and figure out how to help grandpa.