My parents have everything meticulously planned out and send us a document with all the information we could need every time there is a change. Bank accounts, insurance info, lawyer name, safe deposit box into, etc. they've saved a lot and are very comfortable in their retirement.

In laws-well they do have a will. They did meet with a financial planner before my FIL retired. But I don't think they were very savvy savers and some of their financial decisions baffle me. Mil also has a lot of health problems. DH is an only child so I do worry that we'll have to provide support.

DH's grandmother died intestate last year. She had very little estate but it was a mess. His other grandmother is much better prepared. My grandparents are all long dead and lived overseas where end of life stuff us handled quite differently.

Mother's parents never made it to retirement.
Father's parents did fine on their pension and SS although near the end, it was tight. (Grandma died at 99)
Parents are doing very well- almost 20 years into their retirement- combination of federal pension, savings and luck in choosing the right place to buy a house in 1969 and sell in 1996.

In-laws did fine and there was enough for MIL to be in assisted living then nursing home for the 8 years after FIL died- even some left over for a small inheritance.

We have probably over saved, but do not trust DH's pension promise.

Having a will is not enough for the finance piece of estate planning. A will allows you to designate who gets what and who cares for pets or minor children.
My parents not only had a will, but had a trust. As the executor of their estate, the trust made it possible for me to divide the assets without going through probate or even making a visit to the courthouse. This was the best final gift my folks gave us.

My parents are prepared though they just moved into a home that I can't see them living in once they have mobility issues (isolated, multi-level). So I'm not sure how that'll turn out when the time comes, but hopefully not for a while.

MIL -- Completely unprepared. No LTC insurance. No savings. Owns her home and has social security and a small pension. I have begged my husband to talk to her about a plan for her twilight years. He won't. Just waiting for her to take a fall and have to go into a nursing home.

Parents -- Just updated their will. All their financial documents are in order. They have plenty of savings plus two homes. I hope to be able to care for them well.

Grandparents -- My grandma lives in her own home and has a good bit of income from annuities set up by my grandfather. She does not want to move out of her home which I understand, but her child still works FT and all of her grandchildren work FT, most are married and are raising families of their own.

What I would say is when it comes time to retire, move to where your kids are. My grandparents moved away from a town where my entire family goes for weeks every summer. My MIL moved from her paid off home 20 mins away from us to her new place an hour away. We went from seeing her every week or two to a few times per year. I don't get it.

Anonymous wrote:I have no earthly clue, even though I have tried to ask. They keep telling me they will just off themselves so I don't have to go through the nonsense they have with my grandma in recent years.

Can you elaborate?

I have no earthly clue, even though I have tried to ask. They keep telling me they will just off themselves so I don't have to go through the nonsense they have with my grandma in recent years.

Grand parents are long dead and not sure if parents have much of a plan if any.

You could look into Long Term Plan & ECDC waiver for the states where your parents live, e.g.:
Elderly & Disabled Consumer Directed Waiver EDCD

They're all fine.

We have to get prepared ourselves but have yet to do so.

My parents did not and my mother had an addiction (like gambling) where she lost most of the money with nothing to show for it other than a mess. She dropped dead probably from all the stress of losing all the money. My dad's doing ok. Poor but ok. He let my mother ruin their finances and retirement. Not prepared for the future but my brother who can well afford it is willing to support him if it comes down to that.

DH's family is fine. We met with his parent's phalanx of estate and trusts lawyer, accountant, financial adviser, etc over this break. His mother is currently in a very nice assisted living facility paid for by long term care insurance and his dad is deceased. They did everything by the book, no worries.

My grandma just died 3 weeks ago from heart failure. She lived with my uncle and aunt. They took care of her. She has needed care for the last 12 years or so. The only money she had was ss not sure the amount. She stayed in the hospital about a month before she died. No will or anything like that. Everything worked out fine thankfully because my aunt took care of her all these years.

My parents are around 70 and recently got a will, or updated it. I imagine most people don't want to think about death and are therefore unprepared. Is there a website or something that makes it easy to know what to do or how to prepare?

My mom has all her cash in a jar (not much of it), no income or insurance, and practically no awareness of her age, family, or social status, so she's not prepared. My dad is, he has a lot of savings. ILs died young.

DW's parents are.

I think my Dad is.

I'm sure my Mom is not. She is a mess.

I watched one set of IL grandparents' side of the family in utter chaos through health crisis' and ultimately their deaths - lacking long term care planning and lack of awareness of how to get important information and documents.

Another side of the family now just experienced something similar, but within days everyone involved had everything they needed with regards to long term care, insurance, wills and other estate info. I was surprised by how much of a difference having their financial lives in order made on the emotional impact of the situation.

Are your families prepared? My parents have no will but insist that my sister and I will work things out just fine. My ILs have no long term care insurance and limited savings. I feel like sometime down the road we're going to end up cleaning up a whole bunch of messes during emotional times. They are all educated people who seemingly have their lives together, but I am worried that this will cause major problems.

Anyone else? How have you/would you approach them? Or is this just standard to muddle your way through when the time comes?