Cook a lot. Eventually things like measurements and ratios of ingredients will be obvious without needing to check a recipe. You'll know when the meat is done, how to not break the sauce, etc. also, taste as you go. Every step. You can't wait til the end and then add stuff. Each step might require adjustments. That's how people to know to temper the acidity of the tomato sauce or add more salt.

Also, don't skimp on salt.

I learned to cook by throwing out the books. I was in the Peace Corps, missed good food, but had access to local markets with good vegetables and basics like flour and rice and oil. And so I just experimented. I agree totally with the post above - you haven't learned to make steak, you've learned to pan fry a piece of meat! Awesome! Try another kind of meat now! And then add another technique - braising is great, and includes all sorts of stews. I like Michael Pollen's Cooked for this, because he goes through some of the techniques. If you enjoy his writing you might enjoy that. Sounds like you are well on your way to being a fine cook.

I love food and (before I had kids) loved watching cooking shows, so that helps. People say I'm a great cook, but honestly I'm just really good at following recipes. I learned all my basic skills from watching the food network (watch shows that actually show the cooking process - I used to like Rachel Ray for this - instead of shows where everything is already chopped and measured and they just dump stuff in a bowl). I'm pretty good with a knife and I learned it all from watching cooking shows. Americas Test Kitchen recipes are foolproof if you follow them exactly. And their cookbooks and website have great "tips" in the margins for how to do certain techniques, or even how to select the tools and ingredients you need.

Keep doing what you are doing -- but instead of thinking that you are learning how to make specific dishes or recipes, think about them as examples of techniques.

By that I mean that once you learn how to do something (grill a steak), then figure out what else you can use that technique on. Can you grill a chicken breast? Can you grill an onion slice or a hunk of broccoli? And if so, what adjustments to do you need to make to your technique for these?

If you can bake a potato in the microwave, switch it out to a sweet potato.

As to how to figure out how to create recipes from whole cloth, pairing ingredients with each other ... I think that's just experience. I frequently create new recipes from scratch, which involves imagining what the ingredients will taste like in combination. I think you have to do a lot of eating to be able to do this!

OP, you actually sound pretty proficient and like you can follow a recipe. That's a great start, and for that reason , I specifically *don't* recommend cookbooks as they aren't working for you. You could consider one if it has good reading sections, but just following the recipes is not enough. I recommend cook's illustrated. A bit unorthodox sometimes but it really explains how a dish is constructed.

You should, however, collect several cookbooks and websites you trust. Then take a look at recipes on each for the same thing. Try a simple fish recipe. Maybe a beef stew. Find recipes that are similar and yet a bit different. What changes and what stays the same ? Look at 3 chicken stir fry recipes. Start to understand what the possibilities are. Even make them and compare how they turn out.

Oh, and you sound great! I predict you being back here in 2 years' time helping others.

Anonymous wrote:
Then, I think there are two books that will help with what you're asking--understanding how ingredients interact, so you can cook without a book. The first one is, "How to Cook Without a Book":
http://www.amazon.com/How-Cook-Without-Book-Techniques/dp/0767902793/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1420396132&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+cook+without+a+book

+1 This is one of my favorite basic cookbooks. I rely on the techniques a lot.

I learned almost entirely from reading cookbooks.
My beginner books were the 'Look and Cook' series from Anne Willan. I then moved to her other books, and now have a full-fledged repertoire.
Dive in and don't be afraid to make mistakes.

The first book I'd recommend is Joy of Cooking. It's the reference encyclopedia--it tells you how to cook just about anything, plus it tells you the basic info on each type of ingredient--how to shop for it, how to clean or cut it, how to measure it, what the best techniques are for cooking it, etc. I suspect most cooks don't use it for the recipe collection, but instead as the volume to turn to when confronted with something new: "How do I deal with X?" It covers everything from how to boil eggs or make toast up to how to make Chateaubriand.
http://www.amazon.com/Joy-Cooking-Irma-S-Rombauer/dp/0743246268/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1420396210&sr=8-1&keywords=joy+of+cooking


Then, I think there are two books that will help with what you're asking--understanding how ingredients interact, so you can cook without a book. The first one is, "How to Cook Without a Book":
http://www.amazon.com/How-Cook-Without-Book-Techniques/dp/0767902793/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1420396132&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+cook+without+a+book


The second one is "One Bite at a Time." It's written for cancer caregivers, and emphasizes recipes that are filled with healing minerals and are tolerated by those undergoing chemo. Never mind all of that. They're also easy, basic, and delicious recipes, many of them vegetarian (and many loved by picky DC's--black bean wraps with avocado "cream" were big in our house for a couple of years). The reason I recommend it is at the beginning of the book, she explains how to adjust a dish by tasting to balance the four flavor basics: Fat, Acid, Salt, or Sweet ("FASS"). It's easy to understand and she emphasizes you should always taste for FASS with every dish you cook. It's a great introductory lesson, and then, practice, practice, practice (taste, taste, taste).
http://www.amazon.com/One-Bite-Time-Revised-Nourishing/dp/1587613271/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1420396185&sr=8-1&keywords=one+bite+at+a+time

Buy a basic cookbook (any by classically trained chefs. I don't like TV chefs but Ina Garten's books are oh-so-useful). For instance, Home Cooking with Jean-Georges is full of good, basic recipes. Don't just cook recipes but read any texts that follow/precede them.
Any good cookbook authors will tell you why specific recipes work and how. That's how I taught myself to cook.
Cook's Illustrated, if you can tolerate their pedantic approach, might be helpful, too.

You're not a floundering novice. I don't know how to make steak. Or fish. Yay for scrambled eggs though.

Thanks for these nice replies! I am actually reading some stuff about knife skills and the like online. And I found some YouTube videos. I guess there isn't any one "best" place start. Like cleaning a house: doesn't matter what room you start in as long as the whole house is eventually clean.

And I do like that strategic tip of mastering two or three really great dishes and serving that to everyone!

You must love to eat and enjoy food. Start with the basics and then as you get more practice, you will be able to experiment and cook with whatever you have available.

Get the America's test kitchen cookbook with DVDs

You don't sound all that floundering for a novice. Kudos for mastering some go-to recipes. So don't be so hard on yourself.

I would highly recommend a knife skills class. Learning a fundamental skill will help a lot.

I learned a lot by reading cookbooks and watching shows like America's Test Kitchen.

Also listening to chefs...Joel Olsen at L'Academie de Cuisine would talk about buying a huge bag of carrots and cutting them again and again until he had the cuts right.

I heard Christopher Kimball speak and he talked about how the "good cooks" that people remember so fondly, really specialized in a few memorable dishes. They weren't masters of Aspic to Zabaglione. So don't feel you have to master everything.

I'm a floundering novice and I really don't even know where to start. I can make specific dishes easily: I learned how to make a good steak, I learned how to bake fish and grill chicken, I can use the microwave to get a baked potato, I can cook rice and make a decent curry if I have a recipe to follow, I can make burritos, I make good scrambled eggs (but wouldn't know the first thing about deviled eggs or poached eggs) and all that basic stuff. I can feed people and not poison them. But there's a difference between knowing specific dishes out of practice, and knowing how to work with any ingredients I'm given.

I don't know how different, basic raw ingredients balance each other out. How do you use salt in a sweet dish? Because apparently you do. How do you monitor the acidity of an ingredient or dish and why? How do different flavors and types of foods interact with each other? What goes together and what doesn't? How do people bake fantastic breads from scratch or create the most perfect peach cobblers?

For all the dishes I've learned how to cook, I feel I lack a certain basic expertise. And more importantly how long will it take to become a really good cook if I have time to master one concept a week or so?

Thanks!