Anonymous wrote:Continue with therapy, and work on establishing stronger boundaries.

This. No giving keys or any other sort of access at all.
I have to be careful about everything I share with my parents, so feel your pain.

They are crazy and suck big time. Cut them off. Nobody deserves to be mistreated. As per the renovation, hang up/ cut off the conversation with "your idea, your issue."

I don't understand what you mean by 'trapping' you. Why would they renovate the bathrooms in your rental property? That hardly sounds like the actions of someone who hates you.

OP, are you renting it? Or do you own it? Did they pay for anything before the renovations? Just say no.

Change your locks and then stand up to them. I bet they will pretend like they have no idea what you're talking about, but stand firm. Don't play the passive aggressive game and "keep forgetting" like a PP said. Just tell them no. And don't feel like you have to give an explanation. You're an adult and you don't have to answer to anyone.

^^ oh and OP, that means that you can't let them help you find a tenant. I know. PITA if they are helpful in that way. You have to pretend they don't live nearby and do it all as if they did not exist, even if you have to pay a realtor to get someone in there for you.

That is the tradeoff--your time and money vs. your parents and all that emotional baggage they bring. Elect to pay in cash and not in emotional turmoil.

I have a condo that my mom, a hoarder, had a key to. I'd come into it and she had it stuffed with junk "for me." Once there were FIVE mattresses (I already have beds and mattresses)

You have to change the lock, OP, and then keep "forgetting" to give them a key. If it's a condo, there's no issue of having anyone "check on it"--if it's a house, you must find someone to go by there. Since your parents live near by, I'm assuming you know someone else in the town. Pay them to do it. No emotional hassles with that one.

There are many boundary issues here, but the one I've just spoken about is an actual physical boundary---your place; keep them out of it. As for the emotional and psychological boundary issues, keeping them out of your business is a good way to reduce those.

Continue with therapy, and work on establishing stronger boundaries.

Let it go.

This is your problem - you cycle through these problem thoughts again-and-again-and-again.

Yup, the renovation is no gift, it was to slight you. Stop giving them opportunities to insult you. Be the adult here.

Why are you playing into it all? So what if they renovated a bathroom? Just say "Thanks" and go about your business. They can say whatever they want, but they cannot make you feel anything. YOU control that. Stop engaging with them. Stop giving so much energy to them.

Comtinue with the therapy.

I know not to accept gifts or borrow money. But what happens when you're given a gift with no opportunity to turn it down?

They are paying because they believe it needs work and by them doing it, they prove I am incompetent.

Why would they pay to renovate a rental property. That makes no sense.

How about you make this your last guilt trip.
Don't give them your key again. Ever again, K?
Don't accept gifts from them.
Don't borrow money.

You first sentence, however, is whack.

My parents have never liked me. I've been in counseling to understand why and I believe they are just unhappy people. Recently, they asked for a key to my rental house, saying they'd check on it while I was out of town. Like a fool, I agreed.

They decided to renovate the bathrooms! I am between tenants. Great surprise, right? Nope, they're guilt tripping me about how much it's costing. Let me be clear: we did NOT know. When they borrowed the key, it was to let a contractor in. It was supposed to be a gift, but we all know gifts like this aren't free. I cannot deal with the constant guilt tripping. What do I do?