OP, I'm so sorry. He sounds like a total jerk.

How old are you and what is the story of you two getting together? Was he always this aggressive or just since pregnancy?

He just doesn't like the dog- always says "that's YOUR dog", which she is, so he never helps with her unless I am travelling or something. He's had a weird/horrible attitude the entire pregnancy about my physical mobility. Like when my folks were in town I was showing them my cankles, and he was like, "they look normal". Or when I walk really slowly now he acts incredulous, like I cannot really be THAT slow. It's like he thinks I'm just weak, or I'm faking being slow/uncomfortable/awkward.

What about using piddle pads so the dog doesn't destroy the balcony and you don't have to do the stairs?

^That might be the case. If you decide to stay, then start documenting EVERYTHING. I mean document tonight, document it all. Even if you dont PLAN on getting a divorce, think of how you are feeling right now and force yourself to document it all just in case. Spend the night at the hotel, and get yourself a movie to watch and maybe order room service. Let him know, in no uncertain terms, that this behavior is unacceptable. And think of yourself first.

Also, why are you the one always cleaning the balcony? I would let my dog go on the balcony, and clean it when I felt like it (within reason). You are the pregnant one- why is your DH not helping out with that? Is he that immature?

I am going to strongly disagree with the advice fly home for the birth/leave. If you do that, it's most likely the prelude to divorce, and in the ensuing custody fight, it will look very bad for you that you effectively withheld your child from him for those months. That's the kind of thing that causes women to lose custody of their children to the fathers, when a judge doesn't have faith that the mom won't interfere with the child's relationship with their father.

OP, I think you should take a stand against his behavior. Make it clear now that you wont accept abusive behavior. (And yes, in my opinion telling your pregnant wife to shut the fuck up in an aggressive way counts as emotional abuse). This is an important time in your relationship- make it perfectly clear what you will accept. Fly home and be around your family. I'm guessing they will make you feel a lot better and give you some clarity on the situation.

But definitely spend the night in the Marriot tonight.

I would take the dog with me. She has a carrier and is just small enough to fit under the seat.

You are both stressed. It happens. Is he right for saying what he said? No.

Flying home because he said some shitty thing about the dog isn't really rational.

Besides, who's going to tend to the dog if you're gone?

I think you should leave the house and give birth with supportive people around you. Babies are very sensitive to stress and this behavior you are describing is so immature and unacceptable. If you tolerate this I think the bad behavior will increase.

Get a room at the Marriot tonight and book a flight to your town for tomorrow. It will send a strong message about the kind of behavior you will tolerate.

OP, I am so sorry. I would fly home if i were you (to the other state to give birth). You should not have to deal with this stress level before giving birth.

She's in great shape, she just needs help on the stairs and a few extra potty breaks. I'm totally amenable to bringing in a dog walker to help. I am having problems getting past how he just treated me.

Maybe it's time to realize your furry friend can no longer live a quality life. Go see you vet. It's time.

I am about to haveva baby in about 3 weeks. I really should have mentioned that...

Btw she is my dog, not his. That's why I take care of her.

I posted earlier about feeling like a prisoner. We live in a four story townhouse. DH and I have this really silly issue with the dog. I love her. She is 16 yrs old, weighs about 15 lbs and needs to potty 5x per day or she will mess in the house. She's too old to go up and down the stairs so I carry her. Now I no longer feel sure on my feet going down steep stairs with dog, so we've been letting her go on balcony (no one below us). Usually I clean her mess up right away (scoop poo, spray everything with natures miracle and scrub with a brush) but DH hates the situation. Yesterday I hadn't gotten to scooping her poo off the balcony and he saw it and said she's trashing the balcony and he can't stand it. Said he would take her down the stairs for me from now on. Worked for one day. This AM he didn't get up in time and I was afraid she would mess, so I took her. This evening I asked to bring her down before bedtime and he rolled his eyes and complained. When I brought her in and asked him not to roll his eyes he was very very mean. He said he didn't want to talk about it, to shut the fuck up about it, and he thinks I should be able to carry her down the stairs. I left the house in my bathrobe and flip flops and am now parked in front of the Marriott in my car with my wallet, wondering if I should get a room for tonight, and maybe fly back home for the birth and my maternity leave. I'm sooo hurt that he seems to care more about the balcony than about me being safe on the stairs, hurt about him going back on his word and telling me to shut the fuck up.