Anonymous wrote:Honestly, OP, it's a bit of a strange gift - you essentially gave a gift to your son and his dog and totally ignored your new daughter in law. Not cool. I'd suggest that you call and explain your reason for the gift.

It's not his dog-it's a pet they aquired together and whom I jokingly refer to as my 'grand-pet'. I did explain, via text, what I put in OP about seeking out the store and such, and saying they could switch cards (or share them both, I don't care what they do with them). I also simply did not have much opportunity to do lots of shopping for anyone, with a newborn-I had to keep it simple for all this year.

Anonymous wrote:How old is your son/daughter and law? You just had a baby, too? Sounds like a HUGE age difference, unless I am misreading something. Please clarify

To answer your question, daughter in law sounds like an ungrateful person. Son seems petty/dumb to bring it up to you---how could he possibly think that mentioning her dissatisfaction with the gift would endear her towards you, and pave the way to a healthy relationship?

FWIW, I think your gift was thoughtful and well-thought out.
Please ignore the rude comments from them as best you can, and move on.

22:00 here. I agree. When I had a pet, I would have LOVED a gift card to Pet Smart or wherever. LOVED it.

You were right. They were wrong. You put some time and thought into the gift and even if DIL vented to your DS, he never should have told you. It's rude and unappreciative.

How old is your son/daughter and law? You just had a baby, too? Sounds like a HUGE age difference, unless I am misreading something. Please clarify

To answer your question, daughter in law sounds like an ungrateful person. Son seems petty/dumb to bring it up to you---how could he possibly think that mentioning her dissatisfaction with the gift would endear her towards you, and pave the way to a healthy relationship?

FWIW, I think your gift was thoughtful and well-thought out.
Please ignore the rude comments from them as best you can, and move on.

You son was horribly rude to tell you that. I wonder if his wife knows he told.

Your DIL & DS sound quite immature. I can't believe your son told you anything. I wouldn't give it a second thought. Next year, get them a joint fruit basket and be done with it.

PPP above and really, your DS is at fault; he should not have conveyed this sentiment from his new wife. What purpose does this serve other than to fire the first shot across the bow?

Really, a warm thank you is all that either one should have said about this gift. Rude! Perhaps you could remind your DS of some basic manners and set your own boundaries.

He should not have told you that. He should have just switched with her. Next time they get gift cards to restaurants and the movies.

The first few years of marriage is rough on MILs. Sorry.

Good luck. That does not sound good. I think it was a thoughtful gift.

Wanted to add, don't make this into a huge deal, you have years ahead of you to grow into this relationship!
Since these people are young, they might be immature and self-centered. I confess I was. I've always liked my MIL, but I appreciate her more and more as time goes by. Try not to let it get to you.

Honestly, OP, it's a bit of a strange gift - you essentially gave a gift to your son and his dog and totally ignored your new daughter in law. Not cool. I'd suggest that you call and explain your reason for the gift.

Oh no. Any way you could wrap up a lovely scarf and mail it to her with a Happy New Year card?

Keep in mind that messages get lost in translation. Perhaps your DIL was just a little surprised about the gift, and not ungracious about it. Next year, you can give clothing gift cards for both of them, after enquiring where she likes to shop for herself.

Your DS is in deep s*it!

I've been a MIL for a few weeks. They got married fairly quickly, and I don't really know DIL well. They also live hours away and I had a baby this fall, so it's not like I had a lot of spare time to get in their business.

DIL and ds have a pet they love, so I got her a gift card to a pet supply place, thinking she might enjoy getting some stuff for pet that she might otherwise not spend on (they are students so not much $). Ds got a gift card to a popular lower-cost casual clothing store, he needs some new jeans and stuff.

Ds informed me this morn that dil was hurt that I got something for ds to use for 'him', and something for her to use for 'beloved pet'.

holy crap, what do they expect me to do? I told him, switch the cards if you want, I thought her card was more personal than just getting a card to a random box store. In fact I had checked with ds as to what store they shop for pet at, and went out of my way to drive to the one nearest me to get the card (it was a few towns away).

I've been a really good DIL to my MIL and I have never once questioned any of the gifts she's given over the years, even the odd ones. This really hurts.