Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents divorced at 83 and 89, my dad was having an affair. They each lived to 95, and were much happier.

How old was your dad when he was having an affair? 83 or 89? Either way... Dayum!

LOL. He'd been having an affair for thirty years with the same woman (he was 89) and it was, unfortunately, a LOT more than sex. They were essentially a married couple and my mother had no idea. Mom found out from my sibling, who was sick of keeping quiet. Really bad situation but it all turned out OK. The mistress suddenly died shortly after their divorce and it turned out that definitely wasn't the only thing driving them apart.

Anonymous wrote:Parents divorced at 83 and 89, my dad was having an affair. They each lived to 95, and were much happier.

How old was your dad when he was having an affair? 83 or 89? Either way... Dayum!

Parents divorced at 83 and 89, my dad was having an affair. They each lived to 95, and were much happier.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to live with it, so I'm not sure why stopping it has to be a priority.

Now making sure they're not jumping off a diving board into an emptied pool -- that IS your job along with the lawyers, etc.

Short sighted response. My in laws divorced after 25 yrs of marriage and its a nightmare for dh and siblings even though none of them lives in their hometown. Health care, finances, emotional support. It's a burden.

Again, you and your spouse didn't have to live with it. Easy to say "stay together" when you don't have to live it.

Anonymous wrote:You don't have to live with it, so I'm not sure why stopping it has to be a priority.

Now making sure they're not jumping off a diving board into an emptied pool -- that IS your job along with the lawyers, etc.

Short sighted response. My in laws divorced after 25 yrs of marriage and its a nightmare for dh and siblings even though none of them lives in their hometown. Health care, finances, emotional support. It's a burden.

Not mine, but I do keep hoping. Life would be so much less stressful and so much happier for everyone involved.

You don't have to live with it, so I'm not sure why stopping it has to be a priority.

Now making sure they're not jumping off a diving board into an emptied pool -- that IS your job along with the lawyers, etc.

My parents divorced after 35 years of marriage (so a bit younger than yours, OP) and it's been great. They should have divorced well before but my mom has had time to pursue her own interests and do the things she likes without having to deal with my dad, who moved back to his hometown. He eventually found love and happiness there. All is well.

My IL's divorced in 2013 at 69 and 68. Not so pretty there. My MIL was caught off guard and was not/is not emotionally prepared. It's been very hard for her and all of us. My FIL initiated it and it has since ruined him - he'd retired but needed to go back to work, he has no money and very little relationship with any of his children. It's incredibly sad to watch.

I hope for your mom that it's more like my parents' divorce. 70 is still young, I think. She's got another 20+ years to live...that's a LONG time to be miserable.

My in-laws divorced earlier (kids in college) but neither remarried. I think that can be common for late divorces. Single, elderly parents means you will be spending more time helping them out.

Whereas with a couple they can often help each other, alone it's going to fall to someone else for health emergencies, etc.

Sometimes I wish my parents (age 65 & 69) would get divorced. Even at this late date...

My grandmother always assumed her husband would go first, and she would have a ball afterwards. She went first even though she was 10 years younger than him

I feel getting divorce at this stage of life is really critical as people at this age would feel lonely and may lead to depression. I think this has to be stopped by mutual understanding of both of them and by legal advice.
http://www.leemeierlaw.com

My sister's in laws divorced at 68 and 72, after 40 years of marriage.

The wife initiated the divorce and it all happened so fast. Sold their lg time home, she moved into a retirement community, he sought fellowship with other senior citizens who were single/widowed. A year after the divorce, he remarried to a never married fellow senior citizen and they began traveling the world.

Ex wife has had a series of ltr with elderly men but seems to have settled into a serious relationship with an 85 year old.

I think getting a divorce at this stage is unwise from a financial and practical perspective. Probably better if your mom just moves out on her own. She doesn't need a divorce to do that. Can she move in with you or another sibling?

Just curious if anyone here has aging parents where one spouse wants out? My very conservative non-practicing Catholic parents have been married since 1967. Married right after college graduation. Pregnant with oldest sibling on wedding night. He worked his ads off for our family and she dud everything else and stayed home, even after we were out of the house. Hes retired now. Morbidly obese. Diabetic. Either cannot or will not do anything to help out around the house. Hes a bit of a jackass (hes the guy that will complain to management if his food isn't properly prepared....oy). She comments that being with him is spirit breaking. Shes looking at places to live after he dies *shes assuming he'll go first).

Anyways, just curious if anyone's parents divorced or badly wanted to divorce very late in life? What happened to each parent? How did it affect relationships in the family? Anyone end up being the caregiver to the dependent parent?