Backup present for sure. Maybe something you could save for Valentine's Day, if you didn't need it. But Xmas without a gift is pretty dull, unless you're not in the habit of exchanging.

when couples play these games it's always hurtful.

Op, this is a pattern that needs to stop.
You two need to mean what you say, and say what you mean.

But regardless, I think it's very forced to allow no gifts between you. It's weird and requires that you be such outliners.

Have you been complaining about the cost of these projects? If there is tension re: the projects, then this is all passive aggression.

DH and I have been together for over 30 yrs. At this point, we hav a no gift rule of thumb. However we each sometimes break the rule and get each other something. Often it's silly stuff that we just notice about each other. Last year he noticed I needed new slippers. I noticed he needed new underwear. The gifts are no longer about the gifts. They are more about saying I'm paying attention to you

Probably she doesn't like your taste in gifts. I think it's nice you got her something anyway. If she has tons of stuff already or is over 40, she probably has everything she wants or needs and prefers to shop for herself. Either that, or she has no idea what to get you and doesn't want to get you anything so to make it fair, said she doesn't want anything.

Write her a love letter.

Seriously. Best gift my husband ever gave me.

Give her an upright organ.

Make her something.

Get something small and sentimental?

Anonymous wrote:Buy her something and say you couldn't resist getting it for her.

That's recipe for getting yelled at for not listening when she explicitly said no presents.

I'd have something as a back-up.

Respect her wishes.

Buy her something and say you couldn't resist getting it for her.

Yes.

Go snooping and see if she has something for you.

Got a number of things this year; addition to the house, new car, extra vacation hey we agreed on no more gifts. But knowing how the female psychology works do you think she'll still be mad?