OP, I have an alcoholic in my family, so I know what you are struggling with. I think your choices are:
1. Tell her you want an alcohol-free Christmas so please don't bring anything. My bet is she will bail on coming, which would be sad for her kids, or sneak/drink up before she comes.
2. Make sure they have a ride home or stay the night. Uber even if it's hundreds of dollars, drive them yourself round trip, give them your bed, whatever it takes. If she tries to drive away after drinking with her kids in the car, I would tell her you are going to call the police and follow up on the threat if necessary. I would do that any time you know that she's drinking and driving with the kids in the car. That's a lot of drama and obviously would ruin the holiday, but so much better than her kids being killed in an accident. Also, may be forcing her to hit bottom if you do this. I threatened this with my alcoholic relative, and it actually was the last straw that forced this person into rehab.

Anonymous wrote:I think it's incredibly rude to bring so much of your own alcohol to someone's house that you get sloshed when you drink it. I don't care if you're an alcoholic or not.

I only say that because your sister may insist that she is not an alcoholic, that she is only "enjoying" the holiday - still not o.k.

Tell her that there will be no alcohol in your house this Christmas. Period.

Umm I bring a bottle of wine to my inlaws. I would be drunk if I drank it all...

Anonymous wrote:I think it's incredibly rude to bring so much of your own alcohol to someone's house that you get sloshed when you drink it. I don't care if you're an alcoholic or not.

I only say that because your sister may insist that she is not an alcoholic, that she is only "enjoying" the holiday - still not o.k.

Tell her that there will be no alcohol in your house this Christmas. Period.

I don't think you understand how alcoholism works. The thought of being "rude" is not on an alcoholic's radar. An addict's brain is just conditioned to do whatever it takes to maintain their needed level of the drug.

I think it's incredibly rude to bring so much of your own alcohol to someone's house that you get sloshed when you drink it. I don't care if you're an alcoholic or not.

I only say that because your sister may insist that she is not an alcoholic, that she is only "enjoying" the holiday - still not o.k.

Tell her that there will be no alcohol in your house this Christmas. Period.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So, looks like I need to provide a little more info. The issue I am mainly concerned about is her driving home drunk. She has children that she would be driving. Yes, I could call a taxi, but also trying to avoid a situation where she is home alone drunk with her kids. I'm the only family she and her kids have, so not inviting her is not an option. Trying not to reveal too much personal info here, but iI'll just say that her alcoholism is confirmed by professionals- it's not just my personal opinion.

You can either enable her, or not enable her. Enabling her would be let her come over, get drunk, stay overnight at your house. Not enabling her would be tell her she can come, but she can't bring alcohol and don't serve any, and if she doesn't like it, she can stay home. I know someone that drove drunk and as a result someone died. He's now in jail awaiting sentencing. Don't let your sister wind up like that, or worse yet, it could be her kids that get killed by her drunk driving. Not inviting her is an option. Or invite the kids without her. She can stay home drunk by herself if she chooses the bottle over her kids and your family.

I'm going to say either you call her and say that you will pick up the kids so that they have Christmas. She can stay home and drink. Or that if she starts getting drunk at your house, you call a taxi and put her in it. Bye Bye. The kids stay with you.

OP, when you say "not inviting her is not an option" because you are her only family, blah blah, this is the bind that alcoholics put you in. But really, you always have a choice. Because she is making a choice.

Tell her that she cannot drink if she comes and that, if she does drink, you'll ask her to leave. If she does drink, keep the kids overnight. That may not go well, but if she insists on trying to take the kids in the car and has been drinking, call the police.

Seriously.

Anonymous wrote:So, looks like I need to provide a little more info. The issue I am mainly concerned about is her driving home drunk. She has children that she would be driving. Yes, I could call a taxi, but also trying to avoid a situation where she is home alone drunk with her kids. I'm the only family she and her kids have, so not inviting her is not an option. Trying not to reveal too much personal info here, but iI'll just say that her alcoholism is confirmed by professionals- it's not just my personal opinion.

You can either enable her, or not enable her. Enabling her would be let her come over, get drunk, stay overnight at your house. Not enabling her would be tell her she can come, but she can't bring alcohol and don't serve any, and if she doesn't like it, she can stay home. I know someone that drove drunk and as a result someone died. He's now in jail awaiting sentencing. Don't let your sister wind up like that, or worse yet, it could be her kids that get killed by her drunk driving. Not inviting her is an option. Or invite the kids without her. She can stay home drunk by herself if she chooses the bottle over her kids and your family.

Anonymous wrote:If she's drunk after two glasses of wine, she's not an alcoholic...

Oh, not necessarily at all. But an easy misperception. It depends on how bad the liver is...we've seen people go to slurring words, personality change, stumbling after just one.

Christmas is hard for people struggling with alcohol issues, both the sober and the drinkers.

Is it out of the question for them to spend the night?

So, looks like I need to provide a little more info. The issue I am mainly concerned about is her driving home drunk. She has children that she would be driving. Yes, I could call a taxi, but also trying to avoid a situation where she is home alone drunk with her kids. I'm the only family she and her kids have, so not inviting her is not an option. Trying not to reveal too much personal info here, but iI'll just say that her alcoholism is confirmed by professionals- it's not just my personal opinion.

Anonymous wrote:My sister will be at my house for Christmas and I'm trying to figure out how to prevent her from drinking too much. I would be fine with not serving while she is at my house, but the problem is that she brings her own. Thinking I might make it conveniently disappear after she's had a glass or two?

If you know she gets drunk at your house because she brings her own liquor, then why are you inviting her?

Agree with pp. Trying to control her drinking will just make you crazy. but you can set limits in other ways by deciding how much you will hang out with her, even if she's staying at your house. Next year, offer to put her up in a hotel maybe. ~from a grateful member of both Al-Anon and AA

You can't control your sister's drinking. You can only decide whether you want to be around her when she drinks.

If she's drunk after two glasses of wine, she's not an alcoholic...

My sister will be at my house for Christmas and I'm trying to figure out how to prevent her from drinking too much. I would be fine with not serving while she is at my house, but the problem is that she brings her own. Thinking I might make it conveniently disappear after she's had a glass or two?