Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is your kid? It could have been mine as a 4 yo. And the school didn't do all the things PP mentioned -- but they should have. Think they were hoping it would resolve on its own or by our seeking counseling for kid. He's better now!

I agree with starting with your pediatrician. Have you requested the school or early intervention do an evaluation? Get on a wait list for a developmental pediatrician visit too.

Or mine at 3. Our preschool was pretty hands off but when I mentioned to them that I was concerned about his behavior and that I had an appt with a dev ped, they were very on board and very helpful.

To the PP who mentioned anxiety presenting as aggression. This is exactly what was happening with my kid. But at 3 he didn't know the words to communicate the problem. My son was in a preschool of 16 kids. The dev ped recommended a classroom with less children and a bigger space. Immediately, upon going into a less chaotic, less people environment, the hitting and bitting stopped. A year later, my son is able to say, "I don't like this place, it's too crowded" when we go somewhere and it really is too crowded.

Anonymous wrote:This is your kid? It could have been mine as a 4 yo. And the school didn't do all the things PP mentioned -- but they should have. Think they were hoping it would resolve on its own or by our seeking counseling for kid. He's better now!

I agree with starting with your pediatrician. Have you requested the school or early intervention do an evaluation? Get on a wait list for a developmental pediatrician visit too.

Anonymous wrote:yikes -- what school is this? Is it school really or daycare? Jumping straight to "mental health intervention" at this age is wildly inappropriate, absent any other specific indicators (like school knows child has experienced trauma, or is delusional, etc.)

First step is appointment with pediatrician to rule out any medical issues.

All kids at this age are "manipulative," in the sense that they will do whatever is necessary to get themselves the basic needs met even if it seems counterproductive to an outsider. Thinking ahead of age level doesn't indicate pathological behavior -- the child could just be smart but have some disability that makes it difficult to communicate needs normally thus resulting in lashing out (not uncommon situation with language disorders).

School should be carefully documenting these incidents so it can be understood what the potential drivers are. Has school given you a list of the last X number of incidents including a description of who was there, what happened, any precipitating factors, how incident was handled, etc.? If not, big red flag for you about the quality of this school. The school should also be documenting "good behavior" in order to understand the circumstances when things are going right.

You should contact ChildFind in your state to see what resources are available. The state has an obligation to "find" all kids who are disabled within the state and offer them services if necessary.

Other things to rule out would be hearing, speech/language, and developmental disorders like autism or sensory processing disorders.

If all the above is normal, then meeting with a psychologist to understand about behavior and modification techniques.

BTW, I hate the word "crazy" -- it is very pejorative and contributes to stigma. If the child ends up having a mental illness, then deal with it like any other chronic illness. We don't label people with diabetes with stigmatic names like "crazy".