Accept the gift, write a nice heartfelt card to every person that particpated to the gift card and let them know you'll get a nice new pan for your kitchen etc.
It's rude to refuse a gift.

Anonymous wrote:You count yourself fortunate that your in-laws are not a bunch of mooching ingrates, as some of us have.

+100000000

I'd say thank-you, explain how you'll use it (bigger roasting pan etc) and then mention how much you genuinely enjoy hosting them and hope they don't feel obligated to give you anything because you're doing something you truly enjoy.

Anonymous wrote:Are you implying that your husband inadvertently solicited the gift because of his reluctance to clean? That they might have picked up on his feelings and felt like they forced you into hosting?

No, I don't think they solicited the gift. But I think they may feel like they need to be overly nice because DH was so stressed last year (ie 2013) because there was too much cleaning. I tried to be 200% clear that they were not forcing us into hosting, and I repeatedly turned down their offer to consider take turns hosting as it would be a disaster and I know they don't want to anyways.

Send a thank you saying you look forward to using what you get with the gift card to make meals for the family in coming years.

Also, I make five figures in a high cost city. Sometimes, I spend a lot of money on people I love. They're worth it, and I'm happy to do it. I work it into my budget, and it's fine.

Are you implying that your husband inadvertently solicited the gift because of his reluctance to clean? That they might have picked up on his feelings and felt like they forced you into hosting?

Anonymous wrote:You count yourself fortunate that your in-laws are not a bunch of mooching ingrates, as some of us have.

OP here
Yes, as I said, I am totally grateful for that! (I'm also sorry if you do have this problem. I do have some sucky in laws but thankfully they do not come to the celebration at Thanksgiving)

My immediate in laws are wonderful people, I just don't want them spending their hard earned money thinking they need to do this every year. If there is a way to tell them that without looking like a jerk, I'd like to use it.

But I'll take the suggestions to just accept the gift graciously. DH and I did talk about buying something we could use for next Thanksgiving and showing them (like a better roasting pan, mine is too small for the 20lb turkey we seem to use).

You've got to accept this graciously. There's no way around it!

You count yourself fortunate that your in-laws are not a bunch of mooching ingrates, as some of us have.

Tell them how thankful you are and use that money to help with the costs of next year's thanksgiving!

You can't return it. You just thank them all profusely - saying 'your generosity is really incredible' etc and use it.

DH and I have started hosting Thanksgiving for his extended family now that MIL is too old to handle the task alone. It's about 12 people total, including us.

It's a fair amount of work, but I don't mind doing it, I love to cook and this year especially, family pitched in with room set up, doing dishes and MIL did a bunch of cooking. I'm also a much more practiced hostess than the rest of the family (I come from a family of restauranteurs) and we have a big house that can accommodate everyone, whereas other family members would have a much harder time hosting, would hate hosting, or both. A good time was had by all, and we didn't have to deal with the travel (2-6 hrs by car for the rest of the family) and disruption to our kid as everyone else.

DH was a bit stressed last year because there was a lot of cleanup but this year was great. He even got me a card this year thanking me for planning meals/activities that made life fun and he spent much of Thanksgiving relaxing, catching up with his family and so on.

Yet this year DH's family seems overly thankful for everything as if we did some kind of angelic favor. They have sent long thank yous and small gifts which are all of course appreciated and I appreciate the gesture which makes me more than happy to host again next year, and I'm looking forward to it. But last week we got a huge gift certificate thank you ($500) from the family, which is really too much, especially because that is a fair amount of money to most of them. MIL has some money but others have kids and make 5 figures in cities with high-ish cost of living. This is not peanuts to them. The gift certificate is totally thoughtful, but really too much and I don't know what to do. I am not being ungracious, but I don't want them to think they need to do this on a regular basis -- on top of everything DH and I like the family. They can be a pain in little ways, but we both very much enjoy having them, the kids have a blast and they're totally considerate guests.

What do we do to explain we don't need this kind of gift without seeming rude? And can we return it? My mom suggested buying them gifts with it, but it's from a high end cooking store that I'm not sure many of them would want much from.

I realize I could have worse problems, but they've been so wonderful, I'd like to avoid looking like a jerk here. Thanks for any advice.