if you know that you want to end your marriage rather than try and salvage it then you should tell you mother.

get his phone and gather all the communications you can proving his infidelity. Do it now before he deletes everything. he knows where this is heading. what a fuck head. Why do parents (not always the dad, I know) do this shit to their kids? And they fact that he txted this person tells me there was no regret. And how in the hell did he txt YOU by mistake?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you decide to leave him, don't take the kids and leave the house. YOU stay in the house with the kids.

Make him leave the house, either by agreeing, or by packing up his stuff and getting an Oakwood apartment for him, depositing it there, and changing the locks.

Sorry, OP.

What are you talking about? She said she knew what she needed to do -- which is to give him more sex!

She doesn't get the kids, btw. It doesn't work that way.

Umm, no. *He*" said that there hadn't been enough sex. We have no way of knowing if that's true and if so how he dealt with it. Even if they were only having sex once a decade, cheating without discussing the issue first with your spouse is really not an appropriate course of action.

Sorry, OP. I agree with the others to stay strong, do not leave the house, and keep the high ground. You are not at fault here, and don't let him convince you that you are. I recommend a counselor and a lawyer, stat, to keep you on an even keel and to help you make the decisions you will feel best about in this tough situation.

Can your mom or someone trusted help out iwth the kids until Xmas or so? IT sounds like you have a lot on your plate.

Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry, OP. You seem extremely level-headed and together. These traits will carry you through. Big hugs to you - we're here for you.

Agree! Hats off for how you handled this. Wishing for the best for you OP, whatever you decide to do. Hope your presentation went well!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you decide to leave him, don't take the kids and leave the house. YOU stay in the house with the kids.

Make him leave the house, either by agreeing, or by packing up his stuff and getting an Oakwood apartment for him, depositing it there, and changing the locks.

Sorry, OP.

What are you talking about? She said she knew what she needed to do -- which is to give him more sex!

She doesn't get the kids, btw. It doesn't work that way.

It actually does though. She'll keep the kids until the custody/visitation is worked out and then he'll have them half the time. Are you new? How many fathers have you seen leaving their wives with two young kids in tow?

I'm so sorry, OP. You seem extremely level-headed and together. These traits will carry you through. Big hugs to you - we're here for you.

Anonymous wrote:If you decide to leave him, don't take the kids and leave the house. YOU stay in the house with the kids.

Make him leave the house, either by agreeing, or by packing up his stuff and getting an Oakwood apartment for him, depositing it there, and changing the locks.

Sorry, OP.

Self-help eviction? Only if you want to lose your kids and get your ass handed to you in the divorce.

Follow the law.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you decide to leave him, don't take the kids and leave the house. YOU stay in the house with the kids.

Make him leave the house, either by agreeing, or by packing up his stuff and getting an Oakwood apartment for him, depositing it there, and changing the locks.

Sorry, OP.

What are you talking about? She said she knew what she needed to do -- which is to give him more sex!

She doesn't get the kids, btw. It doesn't work that way.

So, it was her fault, right? She should just forgive him this one time he cheated and do what he wants, then all would be fine.

Maybe she wasn't giving it to him because she was stressed out with work and kids, and he wasn't doing enough to relieve *her* stress. You have no idea what was going on in that marriage except that he cheated on her.

So good of you to leave the situation and not let the kids know. You're worth more than this. Take your time to heal.

I'm so sorry OP! You reacted very well and I hope your presentation was a success, despite what happened.

Take the best lawyer you can afford and get legal advice right away, even if you end up not divorcing him. There is a lot you need to know about protecting your assets and getting a fair share of his for your children, starting with not moving out yourself, not having intimate relations with him, etc.

Big hugs, and good luck.

Anonymous wrote:If you decide to leave him, don't take the kids and leave the house. YOU stay in the house with the kids.

Make him leave the house, either by agreeing, or by packing up his stuff and getting an Oakwood apartment for him, depositing it there, and changing the locks.

Sorry, OP.

What are you talking about? She said she knew what she needed to do -- which is to give him more sex!

She doesn't get the kids, btw. It doesn't work that way.

I'm so sorry you're going through this and proud of you for handling it the way you have so far. Just thoughts are with you. Been there, done that. This will hurt more than anything has before. Now or later, it will sink and it will hurt. But, you and only you know him, your relationship and this. And you make your own mind about it after some thought. Not while upset or hurt.

Don't leave the house for legal reasons, and don't drag the kids into this.

((((HUGS))))

If you decide to leave him, don't take the kids and leave the house. YOU stay in the house with the kids.

Make him leave the house, either by agreeing, or by packing up his stuff and getting an Oakwood apartment for him, depositing it there, and changing the locks.

Sorry, OP.

So sorry, OP. I don’t have any sage advice, but wanted you to know that I am thinking of your predicament and hoping you will come out of this stronger. Good luck.
And, for what it’s worth - it sounds as if you have a good head on your shoulders. You stepped back, didn’t fly off the handle and are contemplating how to deal with this sucky situation.

So he was going to a friends house to watch the game yesterday, and about 10 minutes before he pulled in at 5 I get an explicit text meant for whatever chick he was with the last four hours. Context of text made it seem like it was the first meeting. He tried to look at my phone to intercept but it was too late.

He then said he was sorry but there had not been enough sex. Kids were home so I shut down any discussion and high tailed it out of house for few hours to think. I am just not ready for the conversation I have to have with him. Send some strength my way, I know what I need to do and need to be strong. Almost helps me realize why he was so nasty to me last few weeks. I had a huge presentation at work this am and knew I could not mentally deal with a discussion with him last night. I feel so shellshocked. Any tips on getting through next few days?