Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 12:29     Subject: Re:Settle a debate. Which is worse: emotional or physical affair?
I can't say for sure since I've never dealt with the emotional affair side, but I think a physical affair would be harder to get over. You can only control your feelings so much, and I understand how you can slide into an emotional affair without making the conscious decision to do so. With a physical affair, my husband would have made the affirmative choice to have sex with another woman, which would feel like so much more of a violation of me and our marriage.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 12:24     Subject: Settle a debate. Which is worse: emotional or physical affair?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For men, physical because it puts into question bedroom performance and penis size. For women, emotional because they fear a DH falling in love with someone else.


Really? If a woman cheats on a man he questions his penis size?


Man here. It has nothing to do with penis size. There's someone who trolls DCUM that's obsessed with penis size. Women, correct me if I'm wrong, but how many of you have or would have an extra- marital affair simply due to penis size? Men, how many of you assume women have affairs because of penis size?

On thread: to me, an emotional affair would be harder, but either would suck. Emotional affairs consume the APs 24/7 and are, IMO, harder to resolve and step away from.


This doesn't seem so far-fetched to me. If the wife was always meh about her husband's size and performance, I could definitely see her seeking out an affair for that reason.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 12:21     Subject: Settle a debate. Which is worse: emotional or physical affair?
There is no coming back from a physical affair. I'll never stop seeing the two of you together, even if he's faceless. Him doing stuff to you. Worse, you doing stuff to him.

There's no way back from that without endlessly feeling like a chump. No amount "but I love you" can fix the physical aspect.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 12:13     Subject: Settle a debate. Which is worse: emotional or physical affair?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There's research on this somewhere out there, and the finding was that in general, women feared emotional affairs by their DHs more, and DHs feared physical affairs by their DWs more.

So it would be interesting if responders here provided their gender along with their opinion!


+ 1

I was thinking the same thing.

- DW.


DH - doesn't research also show that if a man is cheated on vs. a woman, the marriage is much more likely to end? The various aspects of a wife having sex with another man and trying to conceal it is not something a guy can get out of his memory.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 12:10     Subject: Settle a debate. Which is worse: emotional or physical affair?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For men, physical because it puts into question bedroom performance and penis size. For women, emotional because they fear a DH falling in love with someone else.


Really? If a woman cheats on a man he questions his penis size?


Man here. It has nothing to do with penis size. There's someone who trolls DCUM that's obsessed with penis size. Women, correct me if I'm wrong, but how many of you have or would have an extra- marital affair simply due to penis size? Men, how many of you assume women have affairs because of penis size?

On thread: to me, an emotional affair would be harder, but either would suck. Emotional affairs consume the APs 24/7 and are, IMO, harder to resolve and step away from.


No, the women did not have the affair because of penis size, it was the cheated on DH who would concern himself with this.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 12:05     Subject: Settle a debate. Which is worse: emotional or physical affair?
WTF "emotional affair"? This is real life, not the lifetime movie network. I couldn't care less if my wife was having an emotional affair. If she was bumping uglies with someone the shit would really go down.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 12:03     Subject: Settle a debate. Which is worse: emotional or physical affair?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:For men, physical because it puts into question bedroom performance and penis size. For women, emotional because they fear a DH falling in love with someone else.


Really? If a woman cheats on a man he questions his penis size?


Man here. It has nothing to do with penis size. There's someone who trolls DCUM that's obsessed with penis size. Women, correct me if I'm wrong, but how many of you have or would have an extra- marital affair simply due to penis size? Men, how many of you assume women have affairs because of penis size?

On thread: to me, an emotional affair would be harder, but either would suck. Emotional affairs consume the APs 24/7 and are, IMO, harder to resolve and step away from.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 11:52     Subject: Settle a debate. Which is worse: emotional or physical affair?
Physical is far worse. I don't care how much you say it was "just sex." You may claim to love me, but it was *his* penis in your mouth.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 11:36     Subject: Settle a debate. Which is worse: emotional or physical affair?
Physical, since there is no such thing as an emotional affair.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 11:31     Subject: Settle a debate. Which is worse: emotional or physical affair?
Anonymous wrote:There's research on this somewhere out there, and the finding was that in general, women feared emotional affairs by their DHs more, and DHs feared physical affairs by their DWs more.

So it would be interesting if responders here provided their gender along with their opinion!


+ 1

I was thinking the same thing.

- DW.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 11:28     Subject: Settle a debate. Which is worse: emotional or physical affair?
Anonymous wrote:For men, physical because it puts into question bedroom performance and penis size. For women, emotional because they fear a DH falling in love with someone else.


Really? If a woman cheats on a man he questions his penis size?
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 11:20     Subject: Settle a debate. Which is worse: emotional or physical affair?
For men, physical because it puts into question bedroom performance and penis size. For women, emotional because they fear a DH falling in love with someone else.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 10:39     Subject: Settle a debate. Which is worse: emotional or physical affair?
There's research on this somewhere out there, and the finding was that in general, women feared emotional affairs by their DHs more, and DHs feared physical affairs by their DWs more.

So it would be interesting if responders here provided their gender along with their opinion!
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 10:34     Subject: Settle a debate. Which is worse: emotional or physical affair?
Anonymous wrote:I say physical because you can never get past that touch thing. Emotional can always be played off as a friendship that just got too deep.


Emotional hands down for me. I always knew this, but then it happened to me and solidified it. Physical is probably more reconcilable, especially if it was just about sex and desire, and the partner at home wasn't putting out. But if you're putting out, and you're emotionally available and connected to someone and they go to someone else for that emotional tie, it's very hard to get over. But I also think it depends on the person and the couple. For me, hands down, emotional.
Anonymous
Post 12/13/2014 10:31     Subject: Settle a debate. Which is worse: emotional or physical affair?
I say physical because you can never get past that touch thing. Emotional can always be played off as a friendship that just got too deep.