I agree with the PPs. If she truly has regrets, there are steps she can take to remedy that other than trying to guilt you into including her. That puts the onus on you, whereas at this point, someone who is truly regretful and is really ready to do something about it should put the onus on themselves.

OP try not to get sucked into her drama. To me (who also has a toxic mother) that's what it sounds like. Throwing herself a pity party and is fishing for an invite. If the next interesting fella comes into the picture between now and Christmas, she'll bounce back into the holiday spirit.

Stay strong and have a nice holiday.

She made bad decision, she realizes it, she said she "had regrets" therefor is not celebrating Christmas.

I would take that as you don't have to invite her to Christmas dinner.

You are not responsible for assuaging your mother's guilt. Her regrets are her problem. We all have to live with our choices and she is living with hers. You are not punishing her, you are choosing to do what's best for you and your family. You've worked hard to get to where you and should be proud of the life you've created. Hugs. Stay strong.

OP, I can understand. Without me hijacking, I'll just say- it's your choice on how to respond to this. It could be your mother' sway of apologizing, or it could be her way of attention seeking. Whether you want to bite or not it up to you. You sound as thought you're just maintaining bipusiness as usual, and that can be hard with someone like that in your life.

Just change the subject and move along if that's what feels most comfortable for you. I know a lot of posters will probably say "she's your mother", but I learned that water is thicker than blood, personally.

I congratulate you on having the empathy to feel sad for her. Sometimes it can be hard to see these folks as people.

Happy holidays to you, OP. sounds like you're doing great now despite maybe some hard circumstances before.

My mother divorced my father when I was 10 and I never visited and only called sporadically over the years. She spent the years chasing after the next great guy rather than being interested in her kids. I didn't talk to her for many years, but when I had a health issue I called her for family history info and we talk superficially about 1 x per month (mostly about her health problems) for about 10 minutes. She has superficially said before that she would like to see my kids someday, but has never followed up and only really asks about my kids as a transition to talking about herself. Today on the phone, she said that she wasn't celebrating Christmas because it is hard for her due to her regrets. I feel sad for her as a person, but the other part of me is angry. What am I supposed to say, she made her choices over and over again. She was not and is not a good person because of her own childhood issues, she is a bitter person who is looking for others to blame. Even without the abandonment, she is a toxic person who just likes to say mean things about others and she creeps me out when she is talking about men. Okay, vent over.