Anonymous wrote:We don't work together. Just the same building. We just see each in the elevator etc. she is kind of a cougar. She's a paralegal.

Go for it!

Anonymous wrote:We don't work together. Just the same building. We just see each in the elevator etc. she is kind of a cougar. She's a paralegal.

What is your point in saying this? Is this supposed to make us say, well, in that case, fuck her?

We don't work together. Just the same building. We just see each in the elevator etc. she is kind of a cougar. She's a paralegal.

Anonymous wrote:You agree that the messages are inappropriate so quit it. You are a cheater in the making.

Yup. Don't look for affirmation here. You both sound pathetic, honestly.

You agree that the messages are inappropriate so quit it. You are a cheater in the making.

Anonymous wrote:I've become facebook friends with a person who works in my building and she and I FB message a lot and some of it might be considered inappropriate for a married man to say. She's going through a tough time this Christmas due to aging parents health issues, being single Etc. Anyway today I told her that I was afraid of what my wife would say if she ever saw our messages. She responded that she doesn't "kiss and tell" but that we should stay friends because "remember I'm pretty fragile right now".

NP (haven't read every other post so forgive if this has already been said). I think a good rule of thumb regarding behavior while married is to ask yourself "Would my spouse be happy seeing what I'm saying/writing/doing if he/she were standing next to me?"

I'm must be the only one thinking she meant she needed a friend and wouldn't cause you any trouble.

OP is she above you in rank at work? If not, block her. I know it sounds harsh but she sounds spooky and potentially threatening. If you don't have the stomach for blocking someone who is doing this sort of thing to you, then seriously, you should get off FB--because there's plenty more psychos like her on there.

Do you plan to continue this kind of behavior with other women in future? Or is this something that went a little too far and you want to extricate yourself and avoid having it happen again?

You ought to tell your wife about it, if it's the second scenario, and get her advice, and unfortunately, deal with the fall out from her end. Let it be a lesson that you both need to focus on and build up your marriage, so you're less vulnerable to the attentions of middle-aged bunny boilers. You have everything to lose.

Its an invitation, not a threat.

If you want to see how it will play out if you take the offer, please find a copy of Fatal Attraction.

Why not come clean to your wife and diffuse the "threat"? Then slowly disengage from your FB friend.

It's not exactly a threat, but it's clearly a bad idea. I'd suggest that you wait a couple of days, and then deactivate your account for a few months. THink of a reason for this that has nothing to do with her--maybe just mention that too many people were making political postings and it was too time consuming or whatever. Distance yourself a little bit, but continue to be polite. Let her know that it's fine to be friendly at the office, but nothing that would make your wife uncomfortable. You are responsible for your wife's feelings, less so for a colleague or her emotional state.

Op here. I wondered why a 45yr old would be interested in talking with a 33 year old guy.

This is a serious warning sign, on top of other major red flags (like feeling that this is something your wife would be unhappy with).

Get out.

Fast. Immediately and unequivocably. You are probably too late to escape without any damage but it will almost certainly get much worse.

I've become facebook friends with a person who works in my building and she and I FB message a lot and some of it might be considered inappropriate for a married man to say. She's going through a tough time this Christmas due to aging parents health issues, being single Etc. Anyway today I told her that I was afraid of what my wife would say if she ever saw our messages. She responded that she doesn't "kiss and tell" but that we should stay friends because "remember I'm pretty fragile right now".