Teachers are actually told never to touch children. That said, it's easier to follow that rule with 5th graders than with K students but it is what is hammered into our heads over and over. If you absolutely have to hug then make it a "side hug", never full body contact. We also have been taught to put our hands up when students come up and hug you to show that you aren't touching back.

I have given many hugs, however, when it is called for. Like when someone is really really sad or hurt and it's out of character for them to be that upset. They are children after all. I can't be heartless.

But a PP is correct that teachers are there to teach, not be their mother or counselor. If you get overly emotionally involved then your heart will be broken daily by some of their circumstances.

I think pre-school/pre-k is a different animal and while some elementary teachers are warmer than others, it may not always be the case.

Here's the more important question--how does your son feel about Kindergarten?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teachers are actually told never to touch children. That said, it's easier to follow that rule with 5th graders than with K students but it is what is hammered into our heads over and over. If you absolutely have to hug then make it a "side hug", never full body contact. We also have been taught to put our hands up when students come up and hug you to show that you aren't touching back.

I have given many hugs, however, when it is called for. Like when someone is really really sad or hurt and it's out of character for them to be that upset. They are children after all. I can't be heartless.

But a PP is correct that teachers are there to teach, not be their mother or counselor. If you get overly emotionally involved then your heart will be broken daily by some of their circumstances.

I think pre-school/pre-k is a different animal and while some elementary teachers are warmer than others, it may not always be the case.

Here's the more important question--how does your son feel about Kindergarten?

OP again. My kid likes school and likes the teacher well enough. I have seen him flourish with warmer teachers so I think he might be having an even better experience with someone warmer. That said, your comment was an eye opener for me. I didn't know hugging was basically forbidden and hands had to be in the air! Maybe this teacher is warmer than she seems but the system puts limits on her. To me, those are tough rules for a kindergarten teacher.

Anonymous wrote:Teachers are actually told never to touch children. That said, it's easier to follow that rule with 5th graders than with K students but it is what is hammered into our heads over and over. If you absolutely have to hug then make it a "side hug", never full body contact. We also have been taught to put our hands up when students come up and hug you to show that you aren't touching back.

I have given many hugs, however, when it is called for. Like when someone is really really sad or hurt and it's out of character for them to be that upset. They are children after all. I can't be heartless.

But a PP is correct that teachers are there to teach, not be their mother or counselor. If you get overly emotionally involved then your heart will be broken daily by some of their circumstances.

I think pre-school/pre-k is a different animal and while some elementary teachers are warmer than others, it may not always be the case.

Here's the more important question--how does your son feel about Kindergarten?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We did have conferences and I really don't remember her saying anything affirmatively positive. Just asked the questions on her school script, asked us if we had questions and answered them, and then talked about son being slow to complete work etc. But you're right, conferences were really the big opportunity to get feedback, so it's not like every day she is saying something negative but not positive about my son. (However, I do occasionally hear her saying something nice about a child to other parents, at functions, drop off, etc.)

Other people's comments here about hugging make me think maybe my calibrations are off. Preschool last year was filled with hugs (for most of the kids, not just mine!) when something happened -- a bruised knee, losing a game, feeling sad about your own bad behavior. Maybe kindergarten just doesn't do this kind of thing because the kids are older. My kid could use the extra support, but knowing it's just something that's not really done might make me feel better.

But also, yes, I see this is sort of a dumb thing to be thinking about. I am trying to talk about it here to get it out of my system, really. Appreciate the feedback.

Anonymous wrote:It's nothing awful. She is just not very warm, either with the kids or the parents. She has never pointed out something positive to me about my child, just told me about the negatives. (And my child is not a problem child -- does his work, very obedient, wants to please adults, just works slowly most of the time and is a little sensitive).

I feel like this person in charge of spending so much time with my kid just intrinsically doesn't "get" him. I volunteer in the classroom and can see that the teacher is capable but seems sort of cold and defensive. I've never seen her hug or comfort any of the kids. I'm sort of not sure she actually likes kids, or teaching. There probably isn't really anything to do about it. And maybe she is warmer when parent volunteers aren't around? Just venting. And it could be worse.