Anonymous wrote:I wouldnt host and then expect others to bring food. Why not just have a get together at a bar/lounge? Everyone buys their own.

I think this idea totally misses the point. You're suggesting to spend $20-$30 per person at some restaurant where you're only going to be there for 2 hours instead of spending a whole afternoon and/or evening with friends and an abundance of home-cooked food that probably cost less than $10 per family. The bar/lounge idea is for people you can only stand to be around for short periods of time.

I love potlucks! People I know have them all the time. How stuck up can you be to only go over to someone's home if there's a catered meal. Make some chili or brownies and go!

Anonymous wrote:There is nothing wrong with throwing an informal potluck. People are so uptight!!

+1

Even when we host parties where we are providing all the food, my friends ask what they can bring (in those cases I suggest they bring wine/beer/other drink). It's perfectly fine for you provide the main dish and then invite others to bring a side dish, appetizer, or dessert to share.

If DCUM's have scared you off doing a potluck, a soup/chili bar is an inexpensive and easy way to feed a crowd.

There is nothing wrong with throwing an informal potluck. People are so uptight!!

Some good suggestions here from people who don't think potlucks are tacky. My sister hosts an annual Friendsgiving where she provides appetizers, the main dish, one dessert item, and wine. Everyone else brings whatever they want to cook. The food is always great because people only volunteer to bring things they can prepare well. I don't love potlucks when there are just a few guests - say one or two couples - but think it is just fine for a crowd.

I think potlucks are perfectly acceptable, even though they're often frowned upon on DCUM. You know your social group, so host a potluck if you think they'd enjoy it! I would say "Please come for a shared meal at my house! I'll be making a big pot of chili, so please bring a side, dessert, or drink to share."

Chili is just an idea. You could also do spaghetti, or lasagna, or homemade pizza, or taco bar, or hamburgers, or whatever.

I do think it's key for you to provide a main dish and just ask people to supplement. I understand that others are busy, but everyone should be able to at least stop by the store and buy a six pack of beer if nothing else.

And I have never ever ever been to a potluck where there wasn't enough food. It just doesn't happen. So I don't see any need to micromanage and tell people that they have to bring a certain type of dish based on the first letter of their last name. (I think that's when people start to resent potlucks.)

Don't do a full meal, do drinks and nibbles, or do a cookies and eggnog party. (Or a cookie exchange party - that's one where the purpose is to bring food, and all you need to provide are drinks and a few non-cookie nibbles). But unless you are in a group that routinely does potlucks together, just don't, especially during the holiday season when people have way too much to do already.

If you want to have a potluck in your home, offer up something as host, like all the drinks or the main course. Then you can ask everyone else to bring sides and desserts. You're still taking on something significant besides hosting, but without looking like a total cheapskate.

It does depend on the people involved. My group brings things all the time. I would make a theme to make it more fun. Like for the holiday, ask people to bring something red or green. Or make a turkey and ask people to bring their favorite side.

I wouldnt host and then expect others to bring food. Why not just have a get together at a bar/lounge? Everyone buys their own.

Unless your friends are in a similar situation, this is considered a bit tacky. However, that doesn't mean that people don't do it. You could ask that A-K last names bring alcohol and L-Z bring an app or dessert. I've seen that with girlfriend get togethers.

I want to host a party to see folks i never see (close friends but also those less so) but i have limited funds. I'd like to host a potluck. any suggestions for the invite?