Anonymous
12/02/2014 12:39
Subject: Re:My brother is engaged to a narcissist.
His life, his problem. If you interfere he will only distance himself even more. Been there done that learned the hard way.
Anonymous
12/02/2014 12:35
Subject: My brother is engaged to a narcissist.
Is your brother marrying my sister? If so, I'm sorry for him/you. Know that her side of the family feels for you.
Anonymous
12/02/2014 12:09
Subject: My brother is engaged to a narcissist.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Have a conversation where you make your feelings known. My friends did this with me before my wedding, they didn't trust my DH. The key is to make clear that you love and support them no matter what, but you have concerns about who they are with this partner (NOT about the partner--that makes them defensive). Say your piece and then STFU and stand by them even when your future SIL will try and poison your relationship.
+1. Tell him what you think in the most delicate way and if he won't listen don't bring it up again unless he does first.
+2
Anonymous
12/02/2014 12:05
Subject: My brother is engaged to a narcissist.
Every time they break up, invite him to do things with you and various nice single women you know. Maybe he'll start to see the light.
Anonymous
12/02/2014 11:42
Subject: My brother is engaged to a narcissist.
Anonymous wrote:Have a conversation where you make your feelings known. My friends did this with me before my wedding, they didn't trust my DH. The key is to make clear that you love and support them no matter what, but you have concerns about who they are with this partner (NOT about the partner--that makes them defensive). Say your piece and then STFU and stand by them even when your future SIL will try and poison your relationship.
+1. Tell him what you think in the most delicate way and if he won't listen don't bring it up again unless he does first.
Anonymous
12/02/2014 11:40
Subject: My brother is engaged to a narcissist.
Have a conversation where you make your feelings known. My friends did this with me before my wedding, they didn't trust my DH. The key is to make clear that you love and support them no matter what, but you have concerns about who they are with this partner (NOT about the partner--that makes them defensive). Say your piece and then STFU and stand by them even when your future SIL will try and poison your relationship.
Anonymous
12/02/2014 11:28
Subject: My brother is engaged to a narcissist.
Are you close to him? Can you have a heart to heart where you explain that you are concerned for him (without bashing her)? Ugh, that sucks op. Sorry.
Anonymous
12/02/2014 11:24
Subject: My brother is engaged to a narcissist.
Anonymous wrote:They keep breaking up because she picks fights, blames him for her life choices, makes him feel like crap, gaslights him, then he gives in and tries to give her anything that will make her happy. They make up, but she's never happy and he's miserable, but doesn't see the head games. I feel like he's going to be abused emotionally and mentally his whole life. How will it "work itself out"?
Until he can see it with his own eyes, anything you say will be taken as offensive. He needs to get there on his own...married or not.
Anonymous
12/02/2014 11:24
Subject: My brother is engaged to a narcissist.
Stand up and object at the wedding. Then it will be on the record so you can say, "I told you so."
Anonymous
12/02/2014 11:23
Subject: Re:My brother is engaged to a narcissist.
I am so sorry OP. And I know its hard to sit and watch, but if he is going off a cliff and choosing to put his head in the sand, there is very little you can do. It would be the same regardless of gender IMO (say if your sister were marrying a man like this)- barring physical abuse I think stepping in will only make things worse, which is sad but reality here.
Anonymous
12/02/2014 11:23
Subject: Re:My brother is engaged to a narcissist.
No, there is nothing you can do, and it stinks. My brother married a narcissist. She left him seven years, and one child, later and nearly bankrupted him in the process. Years later he still hasn't recovered financially (or emotionally).
Anonymous
12/02/2014 11:21
Subject: Re:My brother is engaged to a narcissist.
Not your problem and you will only make it worse if you butt in.
Anonymous
12/02/2014 11:19
Subject: My brother is engaged to a narcissist.
They keep breaking up because she picks fights, blames him for her life choices, makes him feel like crap, gaslights him, then he gives in and tries to give her anything that will make her happy. They make up, but she's never happy and he's miserable, but doesn't see the head games. I feel like he's going to be abused emotionally and mentally his whole life. How will it "work itself out"?
Anonymous
12/02/2014 11:11
Subject: My brother is engaged to a narcissist.
Nope. Keep your mouth shut and let it work itself out.
Anonymous
12/02/2014 11:10
Subject: My brother is engaged to a narcissist.
At least, I'm pretty sure that's the case. Is there anything I can do to keep him from committing to a lifetime of abuse and misery?