Anonymous
Post 12/02/2014 11:13     Subject: Re:Any federal benefits for my opposite-sex live-in partner?
Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a deadbeat. You aren't married but he is a stay at home dad? That is like every man's dream. Thanks for contributing to the breakdown of the family structure in America.


...and why don't we say the same about stay at home moms?
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2014 10:51     Subject: Any federal benefits for my opposite-sex live-in partner?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am in a similar situation to you. My partner is a great partner, not a deadbeat, but he is an artist and that's not a job that easily provides benefits. I regret that it isn't possible to get benefits for him thru my federal job unless we marry.

Lots of people may judge our decision, but I stand by it. I married and was widowed in my twenties. That was a scarring experience, and I don't want to remarry. Ever.


Now you have the same choice as heterosexual couples. Get married to get health benefits or don't get married and face the consequences.


Funny how the word partner makes you assume that I'm gay. I'm not. I'm a woman, who is with a man.

My first husband died of cancer. It was brutal, and I made a promise to him, myself and god never to marry again. It was a young, naive promise to make - but I did it and I stand by it today.

So now I'm 40 and have been in a new relationship for a decade. We have two kids. As you point out, we do have the option to marry, but I have chosen not to out of respect for my deceased husband. So perhaps I deserve to "face the consequences" as you so kindly put it. Or maybe the wonderful committed relationship that I'm in now is just as valuable and honorable as your marriage, and perhaps society should learn to recognize it...


New poster. I'm so sorry for your loss. But I'm not sure how standing by the pledge you made in your 20s is honoring anyone -- certainly not your partner and your children.

If he's your permanent partner, marry him. If he's not, don't, but don't expect the world to treat him as if he's your permanent partner when you're not willing to acknowledge him as such.

I'm gay and I got married 2 weeks after it became legal, after 15 years together, because marriage isn't just a piece of paper. It's a commitment to each other and to society. Make the commitment or don't.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2014 10:35     Subject: Any federal benefits for my opposite-sex live-in partner?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am in a similar situation to you. My partner is a great partner, not a deadbeat, but he is an artist and that's not a job that easily provides benefits. I regret that it isn't possible to get benefits for him thru my federal job unless we marry.

Lots of people may judge our decision, but I stand by it. I married and was widowed in my twenties. That was a scarring experience, and I don't want to remarry. Ever.


Now you have the same choice as heterosexual couples. Get married to get health benefits or don't get married and face the consequences.


Funny how the word partner makes you assume that I'm gay. I'm not. I'm a woman, who is with a man.

My first husband died of cancer. It was brutal, and I made a promise to him, myself and god never to marry again. It was a young, naive promise to make - but I did it and I stand by it today.

So now I'm 40 and have been in a new relationship for a decade. We have two kids. As you point out, we do have the option to marry, but I have chosen not to out of respect for my deceased husband. So perhaps I deserve to "face the consequences" as you so kindly put it. Or maybe the wonderful committed relationship that I'm in now is just as valuable and honorable as your marriage, and perhaps society should learn to recognize it...
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2014 10:20     Subject: Any federal benefits for my opposite-sex live-in partner?
Anonymous wrote:I am in a similar situation to you. My partner is a great partner, not a deadbeat, but he is an artist and that's not a job that easily provides benefits. I regret that it isn't possible to get benefits for him thru my federal job unless we marry.

Lots of people may judge our decision, but I stand by it. I married and was widowed in my twenties. That was a scarring experience, and I don't want to remarry. Ever.


Now you have the same choice as heterosexual couples. Get married to get health benefits or don't get married and face the consequences.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2014 10:20     Subject: Any federal benefits for my opposite-sex live-in partner?
Anonymous wrote:No. You can legally marry him, so if you want the government to undertake a legal obligation to him, you need to do it first.


and some businesses will start dropping domestic partnership benefits in states that allow same-sex marriage. Happened to a couple I know in VA, HR said benefits are for married couples now only.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2014 09:41     Subject: Any federal benefits for my opposite-sex live-in partner?
I am in a similar situation to you. My partner is a great partner, not a deadbeat, but he is an artist and that's not a job that easily provides benefits. I regret that it isn't possible to get benefits for him thru my federal job unless we marry.

Lots of people may judge our decision, but I stand by it. I married and was widowed in my twenties. That was a scarring experience, and I don't want to remarry. Ever.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2014 08:17     Subject: Any federal benefits for my opposite-sex live-in partner?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No. You can legally marry him, so if you want the government to undertake a legal obligation to him, you need to do it first.


This.


Yep. wtf. Why not get married?
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2014 08:04     Subject: Any federal benefits for my opposite-sex live-in partner?
These are knee jerk reactions. Emphasis on jerk. Check with HR. I have been providing benefits for my opposite sex domestic partner and our child.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2014 07:40     Subject: Any federal benefits for my opposite-sex live-in partner?
Anonymous wrote:No. You can legally marry him, so if you want the government to undertake a legal obligation to him, you need to do it first.


This.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2014 07:33     Subject: Any federal benefits for my opposite-sex live-in partner?
No. You can legally marry him, so if you want the government to undertake a legal obligation to him, you need to do it first.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2014 07:32     Subject: Re:Any federal benefits for my opposite-sex live-in partner?
Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a deadbeat. You aren't married but he is a stay at home dad? That is like every man's dream. Thanks for contributing to the breakdown of the family structure in America.


And you sound like an idiot. NOT OP BTW.
Anonymous
Post 12/02/2014 07:29     Subject: Re:Any federal benefits for my opposite-sex live-in partner?
not yet, soon
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2014 21:18     Subject: Re:Any federal benefits for my opposite-sex live-in partner?
He sounds like a deadbeat. You aren't married but he is a stay at home dad? That is like every man's dream. Thanks for contributing to the breakdown of the family structure in America.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2014 18:32     Subject: Any federal benefits for my opposite-sex live-in partner?
No.
Anonymous
Post 12/01/2014 16:11     Subject: Any federal benefits for my opposite-sex live-in partner?
My partner is a stay-at-home dad to our toddler. I am a full time federal employee. We are not married, but I claim him as a dependent on my federal tax return. He has no income. Are there any federal health, dental, or vision benefits that we could use for him? TIA!