I think having a large support circle like that, with people popping by with casseroles and to offer babysitting, help with housekeeping and errands is very comforting for some people.

Others might prefer a little more privacy. Maybe a one time freezer fill up and providing a list of people who are willing to run errands and do emergency babysitting. Maybe hire them a weekly maid service...if you think that your sister would be o.k. with that.

Is there a "Lets dish" or somethign similar close by. Make a dozen meals and freeze. If they don't have a deep freeze, look on craigs list and see if you find one for her to stock. Also consider making soups or homemade healhty popsicles you can freeze for her. She will likely have appetite issues during treatment and these might be things she eat.
Help her husband get organized with a regular housekeeper if they don't already have one. Even better can you find someone to do laundry?
Does she have a neighborhood listerve? Is so, ask about finding a mothers helper to be in the house when she is home but feeling sick from treatment and may need her husband to help her instad of taking care of the baby.
Its scary and a lot to organize but just take it one step at a time. My sister had a rare form of breast cancer at age 38 with a 2 year and 4 year old at home. It was tough but she is now five years in remission and her kids really don't remember a thing from that time. AND my mom had ovarian cancer when she was 39 (I was 11 at the time). Back then the odds of survival were less than 10% for her. She is now THIRTY years in remission. Not one reoccurance. Every single dr I have ever had to give my family history too is shocked that she is still alive and so healthy. There is never a good time for cancer but always good time to rally your friends and family. Good luck to you all!

Preparing and freezing some quick meals in advance and popping them into the freezer for future use might help, too. Does your sister have (or have room for) an extra freezer somewhere at her place?

I just think it will really be important for you with a preschooler and an infant yourself to see if you can get information on a support circle in place for them. Again, the first would be grandparents if able to come on weekends or even to take some vacation time during one of the weeks of chemo. A second line would be to get close friends for tasks that will be on-going, then more casual friends/work associates who might do a meal and/or if either is connected to any group via church or other interests. It probably will not hit all at once - the tiredness as the chemo builds. Also, safety as far as caring for a newborn if you sister is very weak at certain points in process.

20:41, thank you!

So many actionable pieces of advice!!

I feel like my sister and BIL aren't comprehending the magnitude of what's ahead. Not that I blame them at all. But I am trying to be prepared in advance so that when it hits them I can (attempt) to be prepared to support them.

A friend with a newborn was recently diagnosed with cancer. One of her friends set up a fundraising website to help with costs associated with the treatment and other expenses. Maybe your sister will need help with medical costs, childcare, cleaning service, etc

You could also organize a meal calendar for friends and family who are close and would like to donate meals. You could coordinate from afar.

I would let her and other family know that you can be a point person for anything she or her family needs. If people want to help, they can contact you so you can help organize whatever it is they want or can help with based on what works for you sister and her family.

I think once your sister has her full diagnosis with staging and gets her schedule of chemo and/or radiation, along with the timing of the chemo, you will have a better idea of how you can help. If they would like to have other children in the future, then it is important that she has an OB fertility consult. Time may be of the essence, but one can ask to be put on Lupron which will induce menopause and shut down the reproductive system and help protect it.

Anyone coming to help must have had the flu shot. Also masks should be available in the house should anyone develop any sort of a cold as she will immunocompromised. Keep hand sanitizer around and insist on washing hands.

1- She will definitely need help the week she gets chemo done so is it possible to involve your parent(s) and her husband's parent(s) to just plan to take turns on coming out to help for a few days after chemo. She may actually need someone there with her and certainly to care for her baby maybe for a few days as she just may not be up to be left alone with an infant AND Dad probably will need to work.

2- While you are out there now can you develop a list of her/their friends and what they have offered to do. Then catalog for her, her husband and you make a copy of to perhaps get in place for her:

a- Those who might be able to come and stay with her the week after chemo, especially if family coverage is limited.

b- Those that they could just drop the baby off at any time of day if there was an emergency and needing to get to the doctor or ER. Or also to watch the baby during regular trips to doctor.

c- Those who would be able to contribute a meal for her.

3- On meals (and even possibly infant care) if they belong to a church, this might be a great outlet to see if a chain could be set up on perhaps 3 meals to cover two nights the week of chemo. If with a close group, someone might even volunteer to set up an online calendar. Also when you or family members are out there, try and cook/freeze a few "simple" and yet nutritious meals. It will help her husband if he can learn to work with a calendar and fill in meals for a week/shop.

4- If they could cut back in some areas and afford to have someone come in and do the house cleaning for the period of treatment that would be a really big help. AND/or on help with the infant when it would be best for them.

5- Money might be tight, but if there is a way to find an older "Mother's Helper" to be with her in the late afternoons when baby might be fussy and just need to be engaged with her right there, but not up to it. I would look for 13/14 year old. Again maybe asking through your church for a responsible younger teen or area list.serve.

6- Small things that will consolidate or cut down on errands will be important like as you suggested seeing what can just be purchased in bulk and delivered. Is there a store one can place an order online and Dad or someone just drive by and pick up. When a family member is out there to help, covering the evenings with the baby and seeing if one can do a big food shopping/errands run.

7- You will have to see how the chemo impacts your sister before you really know what help is most needed. Chemo is cumulative so she may feel much better in the beginning. And make sure she and DH know to let her doctor know of any side effects as they should be controllable now.

Now to end on a positive note, our oldest daughter was diagnosed about nine years ago in October with Stage 3 Hodgkins lymphoma and in short order had chemo for 9 months - I believe a treatment and then 3 weeks off and then radiation. She was single/dating at the time and shortly after chemo ended got engaged, married. They waited the advised two years on pregnancy and on the first try had twins who are now healthy almost six years old. Back then her treatment had to start in the hospital, and an OB consult was rushed, but fortunately put on the Lupron. Contact the local LLS as she can be asked to be matched with "a buddy" as our daughter was and it was good for her back then to talk to a girl who had been worse than she and still had had a baby.

It may be important for your sister to do research on proposed courses of treatment as some are more caustic than others. One needs to look at the rate of secondary cancers from the treatment such as breast cancer AND also the rate of infertility. Hodgkins is a cancer of mostly the young and one of the most treatable. Actually, I just remembered it has been 9 years as we plan to do the Light the Night Walk next year to mark 10 years. It will always be important to do follow up and to have a PCP who listens for even any slight changes in one's health. In the early years, I know she went to the cancer center for bloodwork/x-rays and then six months out to her PCP/OBG as this way she is getting checked to some degree every six months. She has been healthy, is the main breadwinner and Mom of two active kids. It is a journey, but there is great hope for a full recovery with this disease.

She has a husband. He's been really supportive. (Has has mine in encouraging me to go down now. The infant is with me.) Though, honestly I don't think they are really thinking through the challenges of new parenthood and chemo. Both on their own are overwhelming.

I guess I just done know what to expect with the chemo, how it's going to effect my sister. It's going to be a roller coaster, no doubt. And yes, answer the phone. Lots of calls. But that's normal for us.

Ideas I have are, buy would appreciate more ideas, items:
Setting up an Amazon subscribe and save some baby items, diaper genie liners, etc)
Chemo care package (socks, special hoodie, headphones)

Find her a good babysitter or nanny and housekeeper? Try to visit as often as possible. Can you leave your preschooler with your husband and visit more often with your infant? Or does your preschooler really need to be in preschool yet? The good thing is you are not working. Her husband (if she has one) needs to keep her well stocked with supplies for the house and baby and for herself. That's a very difficult situation and bittersweet with her new baby.

Teach your kid to use a bottle and visit every so often. Buy clothing, diapers and other stuff for the baby so she does not have to shop. Send grocery delivery. And just listen.

Wow, I'm so sorry that your sister is going through this. I think that just knowing that you care is a big help and she understands that you've got your hands full with 2 little ones, yourself. Email her, call her. Let her vent to you if she feels like it. Are your parents close by? Is there a husband/boyfriend in her picture?

My sister is a brand new mom and has been diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. We are still in the testing phase but the oncolologists have been very optimistic that her case is treatable.

That said, it's horrible timing. Horrible. I'm here with her now, but am not local to her. Im sitting with her trying to help organize the information, write down questions, researching, learning the cancer language. As well as just hanging out with her and keeping her distracted while she waits for the important appointments next week. However I have to go home next week.

My question is what are some ways I can support her from afar? I can certainly come back to see her, and will. But not as much as I like (I am a SAHM to a nursing infant and a preschooler). What are the questions I need to ask her to make sure she has what she needs. What are some things that I can do from here?

Thanks in advance.