Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Once you and your DH are married you will be each other's family too. Don't split up. Just alternate every year and go to the other family for another celebration.

Agree.

This

Anonymous wrote:Once you and your DH are married you will be each other's family too. Don't split up. Just alternate every year and go to the other family for another celebration.

Agree.

Go nuts. One year at his. One year at yours. One year apart.

Once you and your DH are married you will be each other's family too. Don't split up. Just alternate every year and go to the other family for another celebration.

After my MIL passed away I felt sorry that I hadn't encouraged more time she could have spent with just her son.

I didn't always have to be there! I have a son and although he's not married yet, I can imagine I might, in the future, miss not seeing him alone occasionally.

^wait, I'm sorry. I reread your original post. I get it. You're wanting the OK for you and husband to be apart for Thanksgiving. Certainly! What a lovely idea to each enjoy your families.

Just because both are good, this isn't about showing preference, enjoy both - just not at the same time, not the same year. Vary it. Add in some years of doing whatever you want no matter how unconventional. But get over your discomfort - learn to enjoy what's right in front of you. It's sounds like there's so much good about both events.

Anonymous wrote:My initial thought is that what you prosose is too reasonable of a solution to be posted -- are you trying to break DCUM by being reasonable?

Haha +1

My initial thought is that what you prosose is too reasonable of a solution to be posted -- are you trying to break DCUM by being reasonable?

Do what works for you. My brother is at my house sans Wife. I don't ask questions, beyond how many beds to make, how many places to set.

It's up to you and your priorities. For me, it would be more important to be with my spouse than to be a part of a particular holiday tradition, so I would do the holiday together and alternate years with each family.

If it works for both of you, it isn't bad . Dh and I often talk about how we will adjust holiday events "when situations change" , meaning when the grandparents are gone and our childhood versions of holidays don't exist anymore.

Are both families in the same area? If so, have lunch with one family and dinner with the other.

OP here-I forgot to mention we have no intention of having kids, and this year he's abroad for work so it's not an issue

I'm getting married in April, and I'm really excited. My fiance and I know and like each other's families, but both families have very ingrained Thanksgiving traditions, hosted by very elderly grandmothers. My family invites a lot of out-of-town people and it's a big event, his has an intimate affair and focuses a lot on the thanks part. Both of us have spent a Thanksgiving with the other's family during our engagement period and while we respect and admire the other family's tradition, each of us later confided in the other that we prefer our own. The question is: Would it be weird/socially acceptable to spent Thanksgivings apart after our marriage, at least while both traditions last and their main proponents are alive?