I'm with you, OP. I got on DCUM thinking to post about my FIL.

He's opted out of driving here for Thanksgiving, and wanted to come next week while on other business, which is, LSS, not a good time to spend the night but ok for dinner etc. This is the ONLY time I've ever said "not good time to spend the night"

He got his panties in a bunch and escalates: He said he'd just not visit us while in the area.

Then my DH gets an email from him where he is blaming ME for my DH not seeing them, and saying they are old and going to die soon so they hope DH comes to visit them, and how disappointed he is.

He's been using the "I may die soon" schtick for TWENTY-FIVE years, now. Meanwhile they travel all over the world, and are super-busy. Whenever they come to visit us, FIL just tells me, never asks me.

Bottom line, my FIL just didn't like me putting up a boundary. He just wants what he wants and he's like a little kid having a tantrum.

They key to enjoying the in-laws: very, very low expectations. Otherwise, it just sucks.

I refuse to visit my MIL. I am too old to deal with BS. Good luck to you.

What have you done to "try"? How have they let you down?

I get so frustrated with my father's side of the family, so i know how you feel. No matter what happens, it seems that anything I do is met with disapproval. It used to hurt me SO BAD, drive me into a genuine rage. I could never understand why they were so dishonest and downright cruel to me. But over time I've realized that they do that to everyone, and that the only response is looking at my own actions and knowing there was nothing else I could have done. It's actually helped me a lot in terms of making me more mature, because you really have to develop an inner strength when repeatedly dealing with someone who treats you badly.

You're not alone. I feel the same way.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry you have to deal with this. Don't let the mean people get you down, remember it's on them and not a reflection of you.

Thank you for a kind and relevant reply. I try to remind my self I can't control others actions, and only my own reactions. My patience is wearing thin.

Sorry you have to deal with this. Don't let the mean people get you down, remember it's on them and not a reflection of you.

Sometimes people really f'n let you down. I'm trying with my ILs and they just don't uphold their side of the family bargain. One day the kids will start to notice. It's just so different from my family. It's exhausting to deal with and I'm already over this holiday weekend and it is only Wednesday afternoon.