Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He really broke my heart. Broken up for a year. Have not been in touch for a couple of months, which is better for me since I still really like him. As far as I know he has a new girlfriend. I guess I respond with a quick note saying I'm so sorry to hear that and leave it alone? I really am sorry to hear it.

[Some] women can be so passively vindictive

???

Anonymous wrote:He really broke my heart. Broken up for a year. Have not been in touch for a couple of months, which is better for me since I still really like him. As far as I know he has a new girlfriend. I guess I respond with a quick note saying I'm so sorry to hear that and leave it alone? I really am sorry to hear it.

[Some] women can be so passively vindictive

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not know his mom. Just heard about her. Funeral was in CA and he sent me a note from there. I sent a note back and guess I'll call in a few days to see how he's doing. Was just taken aback to get the note.

If you need to maintain distance with him then I think sending a card/note is perfectly appropriate. I'd just leave it at that and not phone him.

This. A card/note is appropriate.

Anonymous wrote:I did not know his mom. Just heard about her. Funeral was in CA and he sent me a note from there. I sent a note back and guess I'll call in a few days to see how he's doing. Was just taken aback to get the note.

If you need to maintain distance with him then I think sending a card/note is perfectly appropriate. I'd just leave it at that and not phone him.

His mom didn't even die. He's just trying to wiggle his lame worm back in there. Pretty soon, he'll be calling to say: "Cha, hey Janie, I may be back east soon; maybe we can grab a java sometime"… Uh, no.

If you didn't know the mom, then he's reaching out for selfish reasons. Protect yourself emotionally.

Anonymous wrote:I did not know his mom. Just heard about her. Funeral was in CA and he sent me a note from there. I sent a note back and guess I'll call in a few days to see how he's doing. Was just taken aback to get the note.

I don't know , OP. If you broke up officially a year ago but have been out of touch only a couple of months with someone who broke your heart , it sounds like there may have been a lot of back and forth and a difficult break up . I would send a card or note , and leave it alone. If you start calling him again , you will have to go through the secondary breakup (not talking at all) again . He has a new girlfriend who should be playing the supporting role . You did not know his mother at all. A card for an ex is very nice and more than appropriate

Anonymous wrote:Pity sex

Yeah, this. Manipulative bastard; I would ignore the note.

Anonymous wrote:I did not know his mom. Just heard about her. Funeral was in CA and he sent me a note from there. I sent a note back and guess I'll call in a few days to see how he's doing. Was just taken aback to get the note.

I would take it as a sign that he thinks you are a good person and he wanted to reach out to good people during this time.

I did not know his mom. Just heard about her. Funeral was in CA and he sent me a note from there. I sent a note back and guess I'll call in a few days to see how he's doing. Was just taken aback to get the note.

How long did you date? How well did you know his mom? Are you dating somebody new?

For 1 boyfriend I would absolutely go to the funeral, his mom and I were close. We are mature adults, I can be there for him like a friend even though he broke my heart.

The rest I would call, talk briefly, send flowers.

Pity sex

I think he might be reaching out to you because you were with him for a while and knew his mom so you understand the depth of his loss. Or he just thought that you would want to know because you liked his mom and would care.

At any rate, I would absolutely send him a sympathy card with a personal note addressing his loss. Losing your mom is really tough.

That is all you need to say.

He really broke my heart. Broken up for a year. Have not been in touch for a couple of months, which is better for me since I still really like him. As far as I know he has a new girlfriend. I guess I respond with a quick note saying I'm so sorry to hear that and leave it alone? I really am sorry to hear it.