We talked to a geriatric care manager type person once or twice and found it very helpful. Ultimately we did most of the legwork on our own and wound up moving our father to a continuing care retirement facility. It has everything from independent living to full nursing care. It's huge, with tons of activities and multiple restaurants, a pool, an in-house TV studio etc etc etc. To our surprise, he wound up LOVING it there - this after 45 years in the same house. Unfortunately his dementia has accelerated, and we're now debating when to move him from his apartment to a memory care unit on site. It's a great place, very expensive but he is happy and comfortable and safe.

One final point: It's hard doing this from out of state, and if you are the only child, you might want to move him closer to you. In our situation, there were originally 2 siblings nearby the place we chose for our dad, but the one who was closest moved. Now the place is not really convenient to any of us, but since he's so happy there we probably won't move him.

What you want is a consultation with a geriatric care manager. This practice is one a friend used. http://www.care-manager.com/index.html

We used one in another state for home care suggestions and she was great about gently persuading my in laws to accept some help

You could try the Medicare SHIP program in AZ if he's staying:
https://www.azdes.gov/landing.aspx?id=7502

http://www.seniorsresourceguide.com/directories/National/SHIP/

DC probably has an office as well.

Aging Network Services Bethesda

Anonymous wrote:There are dog friendly places but he has to be capable of caring for the dog (walking it on a leash, etc).

The place I put my mom in for respite care allows small dogs, even for perm residents. Rates for a studio are about $140/day which includes the room and 3 meals. Nurses dispense medications and are available 24 hours for basic help. Definitely assisted living though, where residents might need some help with certain things but can do basic self care. Larger rooms cost more of course. This isn't right around dc (about 1.5 hours nw) so if you want something closer I inagine it is more costly.

PP, what is your mother condition exactly? How old is she? Is she mobile? Dementia? And where did you put her for respite care? How does it work?

Tia!

There are dog friendly places but he has to be capable of caring for the dog (walking it on a leash, etc).

The place I put my mom in for respite care allows small dogs, even for perm residents. Rates for a studio are about $140/day which includes the room and 3 meals. Nurses dispense medications and are available 24 hours for basic help. Definitely assisted living though, where residents might need some help with certain things but can do basic self care. Larger rooms cost more of course. This isn't right around dc (about 1.5 hours nw) so if you want something closer I inagine it is more costly.

Not sure what forum to post so I am starting here. DH and DD and I live in DC but my FIL is in AZ. its becoming clear that he going to need more and more help in his day to day life. FLyng out there to help is getting very hard for us with a young child. We have started to have conversations with him about moving to DC or surrounding area and luckily he is open to that. He does not need a full service retirement home yet. But honestly we are already getting overwhelmed to try and figure out what the best options are An apartment in the city near us? A unit in a facility with a continuum of care? He also has a dog and thats very important to him. Are there dog friendly facilities? He has multiple insurance policies and long term care insurance which is great but again its a lot of us take on. We really could use someone to help us navigate finding the right place for him, how to best coordinate his insurance and finances for the move etc. Does such a consultant exist? We want to make this as smooth a transition as possible. Living with us is not really an option. We live in a three story row house and the steps would kill him. Quite frankly I don't think he wants to live with us either.
Please let me know if you have experience with a professional consultant who does this type of thing?
thanks!