Anonymous
Post 11/22/2014 19:24     Subject: S/O Dating a "State Department" employee
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is he in the foreign service? You know they move every 2-3 yrs and don't get much control over assignments.


Read more carefully...


Cue music: Wa, wah, waaaah!



Most spy work is boring. If someone is a cheater, they'd be a cheater no matter what their profession.

State Dept. employees are not spies. They are bureaucrats. Paper pushers. Cable senders.


He is nit a State Dept employee...
Anonymous
Post 11/22/2014 19:23     Subject: S/O Dating a "State Department" employee
If you like moving every three years, then you'll be fine. Also, you will experience a big let down once you rejoin life here in the states from being a big somebody who gets to go to the A-list parties (even meeting the queen) to just being the spouse of another civil servant. They treat diplomats like rock stars in many countries.
Anonymous
Post 11/22/2014 19:22     Subject: S/O Dating a "State Department" employee
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is he in the foreign service? You know they move every 2-3 yrs and don't get much control over assignments.


Read more carefully...


Cue music: Wa, wah, waaaah!



Most spy work is boring. If someone is a cheater, they'd be a cheater no matter what their profession.


agree with the first part, disagree with the second. Opportunity and options is a huge part of propensity to cheat. I have have an acquaintance who plays in MLB and he's a really good and stand up guy but you just get so much pussy thrown in your face and you are constantly on the road and never home that it's tough not to slip.
Anonymous
Post 11/22/2014 19:18     Subject: S/O Dating a "State Department" employee
Anonymous wrote:Aka dating someone in the Agency.

Anyone (as an outsider or insider) have experience dating someone with this job? I briefly did and heard some horror stories about cheating, etc. My impression was that most were single and had great difficulties maintaining a healthy balance in life.


yes - though it is easier to date within the Agency. I have never dated NCS though - only DI and S&T.

The only gf's that knew when I was an employee were those that were employees as well. I wasn't provided cover (DI) but I had a shell 'economics and strategy consulting' business that I registered, created a simple website and business cards and none of my gf's on the outside ever questioned it (I never really did an extended tour oconus which is why it worked).

Anonymous
Post 11/22/2014 19:17     Subject: S/O Dating a "State Department" employee
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is he in the foreign service? You know they move every 2-3 yrs and don't get much control over assignments.


Read more carefully...


Cue music: Wa, wah, waaaah!



Most spy work is boring. If someone is a cheater, they'd be a cheater no matter what their profession.

State Dept. employees are not spies. They are bureaucrats. Paper pushers. Cable senders.
Anonymous
Post 11/22/2014 19:15     Subject: Re:S/O Dating a "State Department" employee
Anonymous wrote:Never dated anyone in it but my dad worked in the state department and he fits this bill. Very dishonest, will straight up admit to your face that he lied to you about something, and super cheap. He was a monster of a husband and we grew to love the years when he was away. When he came back after 3 years the relationship just fell apart- I have never met anyone with poorer interpersonal skills. Everything had to be his way, there was no room for my mom's opinion. She finally left when I was 16 and we all cut off contact with him. Because he wouldnt pay for college and I was drowning in student loans we were forced to get back in touch with him, but it;s not a close relationship to say the least. He is always moaning about how my mother left him and hoping to get back together with her, meanwhile my mother would not go there in a million years. He has been through a string of women since them, never really gotten too close and doesnt have any close friends. Now he is single and alone- his closest friend is his mother. I would feel bad for him if he weren't such a P.O.S. This is a man who has a trust fund and makes 6 figures and thinks Chipotle is an expensive meal- everything with him is shoddy and a struggle. SO if others in the state department are like him, then yes, stay far away.


You have as many issues as he does if you think generalizing like this is instructive.
Anonymous
Post 11/22/2014 19:12     Subject: S/O Dating a "State Department" employee
I think you're overthinking it, OP. People with any perceived power/prestige sometimes allow it to go to their heads. Lots of asshole lawyers out here, but also lots of awesome people who are lawyers too. This is akin to asking are people in zip code 20003 likely cheaters because it's on Cap Hill.
Anonymous
Post 11/22/2014 18:52     Subject: S/O Dating a "State Department" employee
People in the IC, in my experience, are actually quite honest. We tend to avoid positions that put us in compromising positions.
Anonymous
Post 11/22/2014 18:51     Subject: Re:S/O Dating a "State Department" employee
Like I said I don't think the cheating is limited to the profession. I knew someone who used work for one of those big management consulting groups. She said people acted like it was college hopping room to room when people were staying over night for work.

So the people that do the egregious cheating would be doing that no matter what their profession. An egomaniac/womanizer can't really hide it. People are pretty obvious. Get to know him. If he seems like a straight shooter than he probably is.
Anonymous
Post 11/22/2014 18:40     Subject: S/O Dating a "State Department" employee
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is he in the foreign service? You know they move every 2-3 yrs and don't get much control over assignments.


Read more carefully...


Cue music: Wa, wah, waaaah!



Most spy work is boring. If someone is a cheater, they'd be a cheater no matter what their profession.


Lol. Understood that the work is boring. My suspicion is that the men attracted to such a job are more egotistical than the typical DC guy (and that is saying something!) The stories I've heard about cheating or gross escapades especially when they are on assignment abroad were cringe worthy.
Anonymous
Post 11/22/2014 18:37     Subject: Re:S/O Dating a "State Department" employee
Never dated anyone in it but my dad worked in the state department and he fits this bill. Very dishonest, will straight up admit to your face that he lied to you about something, and super cheap. He was a monster of a husband and we grew to love the years when he was away. When he came back after 3 years the relationship just fell apart- I have never met anyone with poorer interpersonal skills. Everything had to be his way, there was no room for my mom's opinion. She finally left when I was 16 and we all cut off contact with him. Because he wouldnt pay for college and I was drowning in student loans we were forced to get back in touch with him, but it;s not a close relationship to say the least. He is always moaning about how my mother left him and hoping to get back together with her, meanwhile my mother would not go there in a million years. He has been through a string of women since them, never really gotten too close and doesnt have any close friends. Now he is single and alone- his closest friend is his mother. I would feel bad for him if he weren't such a P.O.S. This is a man who has a trust fund and makes 6 figures and thinks Chipotle is an expensive meal- everything with him is shoddy and a struggle. SO if others in the state department are like him, then yes, stay far away.
Anonymous
Post 11/22/2014 18:32     Subject: S/O Dating a "State Department" employee
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Is he in the foreign service? You know they move every 2-3 yrs and don't get much control over assignments.


Read more carefully...


Cue music: Wa, wah, waaaah!



Most spy work is boring. If someone is a cheater, they'd be a cheater no matter what their profession.
Anonymous
Post 11/22/2014 18:28     Subject: S/O Dating a "State Department" employee
Anonymous wrote:Is he in the foreign service? You know they move every 2-3 yrs and don't get much control over assignments.


Read more carefully...
Anonymous
Post 11/22/2014 18:24     Subject: S/O Dating a "State Department" employee
Is he in the foreign service? You know they move every 2-3 yrs and don't get much control over assignments.
Anonymous
Post 11/22/2014 18:19     Subject: S/O Dating a "State Department" employee
Aka dating someone in the Agency.

Anyone (as an outsider or insider) have experience dating someone with this job? I briefly did and heard some horror stories about cheating, etc. My impression was that most were single and had great difficulties maintaining a healthy balance in life.