The annulment process just says that the marriage you entered into was not a sacramental one. It was still a marriage, but not sacrament. If not a sacrament, then it can be broken. The children are still born into 'wedlock', they are just like all the other children born to couples not married by the Catholic Church.

Also, the pp who says that as a Catholic one can marry a non-catholic (as long as you promise to raise your children catholic) is correct. In this case also, however, you technically do not receive the sacrament of marriage because it can not be given to only 'half' the couple.

Anonymous wrote:Jesus is all about second chances... Till you die .

What about free will? And the accountability that goes with it?

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I can't fathom how the wife allow the marriage to be "erased" by the church. Why wouldn't she want her ex to be held as accountable as possible and not be able to marry again before God for being such a thoughtless, selfish d*ckhead?! Again, seems like a great way to let someone basically give themselves a clean slate and get to start all over again in the church even though the truth is they were awful to another person, including their kids.

My uncle got an annulment from my aunt about 35 years. She didn't want it but he "donated" enough money to the church to get it. He made their two children bastards in the eyes of the church.

No such thing as bastardy in Catholicism.

That's not what the priest I talked to told me when he said he wouldn't marry me because my fiance wouldn't convert.

If that was the only reason the priest gave you for not marrying you two, then he was mistaken. Were you in good standing with the Catholic church at the time?

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I can't fathom how the wife allow the marriage to be "erased" by the church. Why wouldn't she want her ex to be held as accountable as possible and not be able to marry again before God for being such a thoughtless, selfish d*ckhead?! Again, seems like a great way to let someone basically give themselves a clean slate and get to start all over again in the church even though the truth is they were awful to another person, including their kids.

My uncle got an annulment from my aunt about 35 years. She didn't want it but he "donated" enough money to the church to get it. He made their two children bastards in the eyes of the church.

No such thing as bastardy in Catholicism.

That's not what the priest I talked to told me when he said he wouldn't marry me because my fiance wouldn't convert.

That would not be correct. You can marry a non-Catholic in a Catholic marriage so long as the non-Catholic agrees to raise any children Catholic. As I recall, however, the marriage ceremony cannot be a nuptial mass.

An annulment does not erase the marriage, it says the marriage wasn't valid.

In essence, this is a contractual view of marriage. Contracts generally are not valid if, for example, someone was not of age or otherwise not eligible to enter into the contract, someone was not of sound mind at the time it was contracted, someone was forced to enter into the contract under duress etc. It does not mean the contract did not exist, just that it was not validly executed.

In some countries today they are annulments granted on grounds almost everyone in the US would agree with: a woman forced into a marriage by her parents, when she was under age and the groom was rich but a known psychotic. (or any one of those three.)

Obviously, in the US such extreme cases are quite rare, but they show why a process like annulment is necessary. In the US, as I understand it--my knowledge is a bit dated--I believe the main reason for an annulment is that one of the two parties says, with witnesses, that he or she did not love the spouse at time of marriage, but owing to family or social pressure felt obliged to go through with the marriage.

Another grounds could be mental health of a spouse that could prevent him or her from truly understanding the nature of the contract being entered into, and the marriage partner was unaware. For example, a partner could have emergent schizophrenia that became obvious only after the marriage.

Annulment does not make the children illegitimate. The parents were married, it's just that the marriage wasn't valid. Annulments are also granted of civil marriage for the same sorts of reasons (minus perhaps I didn't love him/her reason).

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

I can't fathom how the wife allow the marriage to be "erased" by the church. Why wouldn't she want her ex to be held as accountable as possible and not be able to marry again before God for being such a thoughtless, selfish d*ckhead?! Again, seems like a great way to let someone basically give themselves a clean slate and get to start all over again in the church even though the truth is they were awful to another person, including their kids.

My uncle got an annulment from my aunt about 35 years. She didn't want it but he "donated" enough money to the church to get it. He made their two children bastards in the eyes of the church.

No such thing as bastardy in Catholicism.

That's not what the priest I talked to told me when he said he wouldn't marry me because my fiance wouldn't convert.

Anonymous wrote:Jesus is all about second chances... Till you die .

I'm a Christian, but this made me chuckle.

It means a sacramental marriage never happened. Illegitimacy is a civil designation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I can't fathom how the wife allow the marriage to be "erased" by the church. Why wouldn't she want her ex to be held as accountable as possible and not be able to marry again before God for being such a thoughtless, selfish d*ckhead?! Again, seems like a great way to let someone basically give themselves a clean slate and get to start all over again in the church even though the truth is they were awful to another person, including their kids.

My uncle got an annulment from my aunt about 35 years. She didn't want it but he "donated" enough money to the church to get it. He made their two children bastards in the eyes of the church.

No such thing as bastardy in Catholicism.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I can't fathom how the wife allow the marriage to be "erased" by the church. Why wouldn't she want her ex to be held as accountable as possible and not be able to marry again before God for being such a thoughtless, selfish d*ckhead?! Again, seems like a great way to let someone basically give themselves a clean slate and get to start all over again in the church even though the truth is they were awful to another person, including their kids.

My uncle got an annulment from my aunt about 35 years. She didn't want it but he "donated" enough money to the church to get it. He made their two children bastards in the eyes of the church.

No it doesn't. Don't be ridiculous.

NP here. Technically, PP is right. An annulment means it's as if the marriage didn't happen, which means those children become children born out of wedlock. The church may not punish them for that (I should certainly hope they wouldn't), but that doesn't mean they're not children born out of wedlock. If this isn't an acceptable outcome, perhaps the church should rethink the lunacy of allowing annulments of long-term marriages that produced children.

Isn't annulment only granted when you have not consummated the marriage?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I can't fathom how the wife allow the marriage to be "erased" by the church. Why wouldn't she want her ex to be held as accountable as possible and not be able to marry again before God for being such a thoughtless, selfish d*ckhead?! Again, seems like a great way to let someone basically give themselves a clean slate and get to start all over again in the church even though the truth is they were awful to another person, including their kids.

My uncle got an annulment from my aunt about 35 years. She didn't want it but he "donated" enough money to the church to get it. He made their two children bastards in the eyes of the church.

No it doesn't. Don't be ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

I can't fathom how the wife allow the marriage to be "erased" by the church. Why wouldn't she want her ex to be held as accountable as possible and not be able to marry again before God for being such a thoughtless, selfish d*ckhead?! Again, seems like a great way to let someone basically give themselves a clean slate and get to start all over again in the church even though the truth is they were awful to another person, including their kids.

My uncle got an annulment from my aunt about 35 years. She didn't want it but he "donated" enough money to the church to get it. He made their two children bastards in the eyes of the church.

Jesus is all about second chances... Till you die .

I'm Catholic and I don't understand how the church can say a marriage didn't exist. It sounds like BS that allows one or two people who really screwed up a sort of cop out and removes accountability--in the eyes of the church-- for their bad choices or plain old bad behavior. And if you're such a devoted Catholic and all concerned about things being done "properly" before the eyes of God or whatever, isn't it basically too little, too late? Maybe you should have thought about being a good spouse or just a better person to begin with if you're the one who messed up your marriage by cheating/drinking/gambling/abusing? I heard a story about a couple that had a few kids and the husband basically just couldn't hack the stress of being married and left his wife but continued sending checks for the kids. Supposedly they eventually got an annulment.

I can't fathom how the wife allow the marriage to be "erased" by the church. Why wouldn't she want her ex to be held as accountable as possible and not be able to marry again before God for being such a thoughtless, selfish d*ckhead?! Again, seems like a great way to let someone basically give themselves a clean slate and get to start all over again in the church even though the truth is they were awful to another person, including their kids.